Bedknobs and Beanstalks: An Anthology of M-M Fairy Tales
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by EM Lynley
Category: Erotica/Gay-Lesbian Erotica/Romance
Description: An erotic collection of m/m fairy tales! Once upon a time. As children, those four words told us we were about to enter a brand-new world: scarier, happier, more enchanted than our everyday life. No matter our own particular expectations and experience with fairy tales, we knew we were in for a wild ride. Handsome princes would save beautiful damsels in distress and the ogres never got the girl. Perhaps in our own stories, or in our own lives, we aren't quite satisfied with those happily-ever-afters. What sound-minded prince would choose any of those airheaded bosomy blondes that populate familiar animated versions of the original, much darker, and more ominous tales made famous by the Brothers Grimm? Not to mention, fairy tales were often used as bedtime stories. Well, put all that behind you and prepare for a new type of fairy tale. Not only are they guaranteed to get you into bed. though not for sleep, you won't find a single of those old-fashioned stereotypical characters. Instead enter a world where a magic cock ring can grow into a mighty peenstalk, or an unhappy shepherd can meet the sexiest wolf imaginable. A Japanese youth with the strength of a bear finds himself weak in the face of a beautiful samurai, and a young man in a ball gown can charm a prince to distraction. These are but a few of the adventures that await you, once upon a time
eBook Publisher: Ravenous Romance/Ravenous Romance, 2009
eBookwise Release Date: November 2009
34 Reader Ratings:
Available eBook Formats: OEBFF Format (IMP) [282 KB]
Reading time: 170-238 min.
Once upon a time. As children, those four words told us we were about to enter a brand-new world: scarier, happier, more enchanted than our everyday life. No matter our own particular expectations and experience with fairy tales, we knew we were in for a wild ride. Handsome princes would save beautiful damsels in distress and the ogres never got the girl.
Perhaps in our own stories, or in our own lives, we aren't quite satisfied with those happily-ever-afters. What sound-minded prince would choose any of those airheaded bosomy blondes that populate familiar animated versions of the original, much darker, and more ominous tales made famous by the Brothers Grimm?
Not to mention, fairy tales were often used as bedtime stories.
Well, put all that behind you and prepare for a new type of fairy tale. Not only are they guaranteed to get you into bed--though not for sleep--you won't find a single of those old-fashioned stereotypical characters.
Instead enter a world where a magic cock ring can grow into a mighty peenstalk, or an unhappy shepherd can meet the sexiest wolf imaginable. A Japanese youth with the strength of a bear finds himself weak in the face of a beautiful samurai, and a young man in a ball gown can charm a prince to distraction. These are but a few of the adventures that await you, once upon a time...
* * * *
* * * *
Jack and the Peenstalk
by Clancy Nacht
Once upon a time, in a suburb not very far away, there was a young man named Jack. He was unemployed due to the economic downturn and the fact that he'd majored in philosophy, which had only qualified him to be a barista in the first place--and now Starbucks was cutting back. He lived with his mother in a house that was too big and too expensive, because she'd applied for and gotten a loan she could not afford even before she lost all of her money in the tanking stock market.
"Jack, Jack, we have to do something. The bank is going to foreclose!" His mother's voice woke him with a start.
She stood in the doorway of his bedroom, a bejeweled hand waving an official-looking piece of paper. It had to be around noon, given the quality of light. He didn't even remember when he'd gone to bed.
"I can go see if the temping agencies have anything for me." As far as he was concerned, a job was just a lot of work, the thought of which made him tired. It reflected in his tone.
She smacked him on the side of the head with the foreclosure notice, ruffling his golden hair. "What would you do for a temping agency? You don't have any useful skills! You majored in philosophy. No one needs a philosopher these days!"
He held up his hand to stop the beating. "Ow, stop that! I'm enlightened. I understand the great truths of the human spirit now. Plus, the dean of that college was really hot."
"Oh, Jack." She sat at the foot of his bed and buried her face in her hands. "If only you'd stuck with him. He was wealthy. We could've lived in his mansion!"
"Pfft." Jack held up a pinkie. "He may have had money, but he was deficient beneath the belt. I cannot be expected to live that way."
"Useless!" She shook her head in her hands. "You're completely useless and we're going to end up on the streets."
Frowning, Jack sat up next to her, rubbing the crust from his eyes before looking at her again, or more specifically, the giant diamond ring on her hand. "We could sell that."
"What?" She looked up to see what Jack was eyeing. Realizing what he meant, she held out her hand to examine it. "My... my Precious?"
"I really regret letting you watch the Lord of the Rings trilogy with me."
Pursing her lips, she appeared to consider Jack's suggestion, then finally pulled the ring off. "I guess it's okay to sell it. I really only married your father for the money. He was pretty"--she held up her pinkie--"too."
Jack took the three-carat diamond solitaire from her and held it up to the light streaming in through his bedroom window, feeling smug about his own generous member. "Thank God that wasn't a trait I inherited."
* * * *
After being tuned away by all of the pawnbrokers to whom he showed the ring, Jack was discouraged.
"That thing is radiating heat, it's so hot!" one insisted when Jack showed it to him.
"No, really, it's my mom's," insisted Jack.
"What, are you selling it to buy drugs? I don't want to get dragged into the middle of that. You suburban boys get a little taste of heroin and then you start stealing family jewels and then cops come in and...yeah, not getting in the middle of that, kid."
"I don't do heroin! I'm naturally thin!" Jack pulled up his sleeves to show he had no tell-tale track marks, but it was all to no avail. The pawnbrokers thought he was a junkie who injected through his toes and he could persuade them no different.
By nighttime he was feeling dejected. "My mom's right. I really am useless."
Rather than heading directly home, Jack decided the whole day wouldn't be a total write-off if he could at least get laid. The line at his favorite gay bar, Wizards, was as chock full of lonely, drunk, hot guys as ever. He elbowed his way in, getting a free pass from the bouncer he'd blown once. Or twice. Maybe a few more times than that. Bouncers were useful friends.
The rhythm pumped and the lights dazzled as he watched men in tight T-shirts and hot pants dry humping to the beat. He intended to plop himself at the bar and tell his miseries to the bartender in the hopes of scoring a few free drinks and maybe some pity sex.
"Oh, honey, I could find lots of uses for you," said a queen painted up in glitter and eyeliner who waylaid him on his path.
But Jack's once-over revealed a bit of lack in the sack and after a pointed glare, Jack said, "As if."
"Bitch!" The queen hustled off to the other side of the club, leaving Jack to wade through the dance floor to the bar.
The one thing Jack was good at was getting men to buy him drinks, so he sat at the bar, sipping a flirtini and wearing his mother's ring on his pinkie.
"Oh my, what a big... stone... you have," said a tall daddy. He looked and smelled expensive, but his gray hair and beard definitely rated a thumbs-down from Jack.
"Well, I'm trying to sell it, but people around here just don't seem to appreciate the three C's." He wouldn't go anywhere with this guy but with any luck, perhaps he would buy Jack a drink, or maybe even the ring. He looked like the sort of guy who would normally wear a diamond pinkie ring.
"Oh, I do. I very much appreciate a diamond ring. What are you asking for it?" The gentleman sat down on the stool next to Jack and the colored lights dazzled in his gray hair and beard.
"It's a steal at ten thousand dollars." Jack had been told to accept no less than five.
"I don't have that kind of cash on me, but I can give you my talisman." The man unbuttoned his shirt to reveal a carpeted chest of white hair and a cock ring tied to a strip of leather hanging around his neck. While this wasn't that remarkable in a club like this, the size of the cock ring made Jack's mouth water. It almost looked the size of a halo. He could shove his whole head through it.
Jack squirmed in his chair and tried very hard not to look at the man's crotch. "That's yours?"
"In a manner of speaking, yes. It does belong to me, but I do not wear it."
"Oh." Jack slumped on the stool, wondering why he'd gotten his hopes up.
"It's very valuable. It's magic, in fact. It will lead you to what you treasure most." The man's eyes glimmered as he said it, which Jack attributed to the light, but one could never be too sure. He sniffed his flirtini to make sure no one had slipped anything in it.
"And I'll trade it for that diamond ring. You're getting the better deal, really."
"What I treasure most...like money?" asked Jack. "Or can I meet the man who wears that?" Jack pointed to the cock ring.
"Yes." The daddy stood up again and with one swift tug on the cock ring, he pulled the necklace off.
Jack felt almost possessed as he pulled the diamond ring off of his pinkie and handed it to the older man with one hand, taking the large cock ring with the other.
"Good choice," said the man, and before Jack could say anything else, the man had vanished.
Jack held the cock ring in both hands, feeling the warmth of it from the man's body. He imagined the size of cock that would fit in it and shivered. "And money."
Jack was very pleased with himself. He'd done a good job. A good job indeed.
* * * *
"You what?" his mother shrieked when Jack returned at 4 a.m. smelling of vodka and drenched in glitter.
He held up the cock ring like it was a trophy. "The man said I would find the man who fits this, and that I could get money!"
"What man said that? Are you drunk? High? A complete idiot?" She snatched the cock ring from him. "You've doomed us! We're going to live on the street and all we have is this stupid necklace!"
"That's the thing, Mom." Jack tried to snatch the cock ring back, but missed. "That's not a necklace!"
At that announcement, she wrinkled her nose and looked at the shiny silver object in her hand and recoiled. Then she stomped to the back door, opened it and flung it out of the house like a Frisbee.
"Mom! What? Why would you toss that away?" Jack started for the door.
She put her arm out stopping him before he could chase after it. "You leave it out there. You leave it there and I want you to go to bed, and when you get up in the morning and you're sober, I want you to think about what you've done!"
"But--" Jack reached for the door, seeing the shine of the cock ring in the grass, but his mother blocked his way. He sighed in defeat and went to bed.
* * * *
After what felt like a full night's sleep, Jack awoke to darkness. He hated when that happened, when he didn't get enough sleep and things were still dark and he couldn't get back to sleep. His digital clock read 1 p.m. By now, even if it was storming, daylight should be streaming through his bedroom window.
Wondering if there had been a power outage that shorted out his clock, he looked outside for confirmation it was indeed still night. What he saw instead was a thick, fat cock with a maze of purple-blue veins growing from the grass in his backyard, outlined by the large cock ring. He twisted his body to see as high up as he could out the window, but it appeared the penis extended way up into the clouds.
Jack didn't even bother to put anything on over the plaid boxers he'd worn to bed, and ran out the back door, half drooling at the size of the enormous peen and half worrying what the Home Owners Association would say about it.
But there it was, standing tall and proud in all of its penis-y glory, veins standing out as it strained up into the clouds. Jack shielded his eyes as he looked up at it, gaze drawn to the veins when he noticed a pattern. From tip to tail, so to speak, the swirl of skin and veins formed the latticework of a ladder begging to be climbed. Jack looked to his left, to his right, and finally behind him. No one was around. No signs, no police, no one screaming about the unapproved phallus in the back yard. He thought again of the daddy at the bar and his enticing promise of Jack finding what he treasured most.
The message couldn't have been plainer, so Jack mounted the cock, and began climbing up into the sky to find out what fate might hold for him.
It was a long but rewarding climb as the warm mass expanded with each few feet Jack ascended. While he knew there was nothing he could realistically do with such a huge dick, climbing one was making him unbearably horny, particularly as the shiny tip came into view.
As if by magic, he didn't even feel tired by the climb, each movement causing his cock to swell with the one he was walking up, almost as if they were in sync.
When he finally reached the tip, he flopped down across the hole and closed his eyes as he slipped his hand under his waistband. With as horny as climbing the cock had made him, it didn't take long, and soon he felt that eye-crossing bliss of ecstasy. But he also felt something warm at his back, then the sudden disorientation of being airborne.
Now far below him, the tip of his cock looked small but still spurted as Jack was propelled through the white fog of clouds. Normally he was terribly afraid of heights, but in the afterglow of such a satisfying orgasm, he found flying quite pleasant and simply rode the wave of come as it gently floated downwards. He wondered absently if he was going to fall all the way back to Earth and come to a very messy end. All in all, he would've called his adventure worthwhile. Few could claim to have climbed a giant prick into the sky and to have enjoyed such a unique pleasure of jacking off on the tip of a giant cock.
But instead of falling to earth, he soon found solid ground beneath his come-spattered feet. The grass was almost blindingly green and velvety soft under his bare feet. In the distance, he saw a huge stone castle bedecked with giant penis spires that were all but lost in the clouds. It was surrounded by a huge wall that opened into an arch with a carpet of red grass rolled out before it.
As Jack stood at the entrance, he wondered if what was inside was so terrible or scary it didn't need to be walled off and protected. Then again, having a castle in the sky that can only be accessed by floating on a wave of come from a giant peen probably didn't get a lot of visitors.
The outer wall of the castle had a huge archway that opened onto a beautiful courtyard with a stone fountain that trickled crystal water from three oversized cocks. It was there Jack decided he should wash up, so he stepped out of his boxers and dipped into the fountain, marveling at the giant pricks as he enjoyed the cool water on his skin.
"Hee High Hoes Come!
I smell the come of a horny man,
Be he alive or be he dead,
He'll take my boner and give me head!" said a loud, booming voice that seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere all at once.
Jack sat up in the fountain, suddenly noticing all the open archways that led into mysterious hallways carpeted in the richest of red velvet. As immense as the castle had appeared from the outside, it was even bigger on the inside, and hallways branched out in all directions. It was decorated a little like a bordello, but Jack found that appealing. Unable to place where the voice was coming from, he grabbed the tip of one of the cocks in the fountain to help himself stand.
Not knowing where to direct his answer, he shouted, "If you're hot, I'll give you head!"
It felt like an earthquake, or perhaps several tremors. Jack clutched the peen tighter so as not to fall over as the ground trembled. He felt nervous, wondering just what was coming his way and if it would be icky. Once he laid eyes on the giant, his libido took over. The guy was hot. Very hot.
The giant was big in every sense of the word. Jack judged him to be at least ten feet tall with a hard-on that stood out like a baseball bat. He was lean and tanned, skin glistening in the sunlight as if he'd been freshly oiled. His hair was a deep, silky brown and fell just to his waist. Jack could imagine it tickling his ass cheeks and shivered at the thought.
He had to wonder at the quality of the materials the floors up here were made of to shake so at this man's approach, for though he was quite solidly built, with abs that he could quite literally have used as a washboard and shoulders gorgeously broad, Jack couldn't imagine he weighed that much.
Then again, perhaps the man was made of lead. But with such an obvious and huge erection coming closer to him, Jack quickly gave up any consideration of construction in favor of his growing interest in his new friend. Licking his lips, he stepped daintily from the fountain as the gorgeous giant made his way over, his long, dark hair, and ripe, tanned body glinting in the sun as the clouds parted, leaving him in all of his naked glory like a living statue. It was all Jack could do to keep from falling to his knees and attempting to swallow the giant's cock whole.
"You're very small," the giant observed as he stood before Jack.
"Not where it counts!" Jack said as he tipped his hips forward, showing off his own impressive-in-proportion member.
The giant laughed and clapped. Not in a cruel or mocking way, but because he was clearly so delighted with his new visitor. And it was true that although Jack was a smaller man than the giant in all regards, proportionally he was well appointed.
The giant slid his fingers through Jack's golden hair. "What do I call you, man who is little except where it counts?"
"My name is Jack." He leaned into the giant's touch and reached to slide a curious hand over the giant's shaft. "I believe you said something about making me take your boner?"
Were it possible for a giant man in an impossible castle that could be reached by a cock that grew up into the sky to look sheepish and embarrassed, he would have. In fact, he did, which just goes to show nothing is impossible.
"Oh yes, I did say that. But I didn't realize my intruder would be so delicate." The giant sized Jack up and looked doubtful. Jack had to let him know how much he wanted to ride that bone.
"I'm a lot harder to break than you might think. What do I call you?"
"They call me Lincoln." The giant made a low rumbling noise that must've been a moan. Jack couldn't keep his hands off of Lincoln's cock, utterly fascinated with the size of it, how perfectly formed it was. It was warm and velvety, inviting as any cock he'd ever touched, and it was enormous. He was captivated. "Not that anyone's called me that for a very long time. At least, I don't think so."
Jack continued to stroke Lincoln's cock, inching closer so he could rub his cheek against it. Lincoln sounded lonely and Jack's heart went out to him. It must be difficult to get visitors in such a remote location. "No one comes to visit? You're all alone?"
Lincoln shivered from the touches. It made Jack wonder how long since someone else had given him this kind of attention. This thought drove Jack to move even closer to him, pressing kisses along the shaft.
"Yes, I am alone up here." Lincoln reached down for him and pressed their bodies together into a hug, or at least as much of a hug as he could with the size differences.
Jack tried to wrap his arms around him. "I'm sorry. I don't understand why no one would visit. Maybe you should consider a condo closer to Earth."
Lincoln squeezed Jack so tightly he feared his ribs might break, but then the giant remembered himself and gentled. "I'm a prince of this land. I was cursed by a princess who hated me because I did not love her. She was a witch and hexed me to sleep until my true love found me, upon which time I would awaken." He looked at Jack, his eyes soft. "And now I am awake. And here you are."
"True love?" Jack blinked as he looked up at Lincoln, feeling a strange thrill at the idea of belonging to someone. His mind wandered through his past, his obsession with size. Bigger men, bigger cocks--Jack was never satisfied with what he had. Could it mean he was really meant to find his true love in a giant cloud on a penis in the sky? He clung to Lincoln as he sorted through his feelings and his growing arousal at the idea of being with this man. "I've never been in love before. But then, I've never climbed up a giant penis before either. Or met a man like you. Certainly not as big as you."
Lincoln laughed again, a deep, rich sound that rumbled through his chest and abdomen.
Jack closed his eyes, listening, sighing contentedly at the rumble.
"I haven't either. A giant penis, you say? Bigger than this?" As Lincoln released Jack from the hug, his cock slipped and smacked Jack on the cheek.
Jack staggered a little from the blow, but rather than disorienting or upsetting him, it turned him on and he gave in to his temptation, opening his mouth to wrap his lips around the tip. He had no idea how he was going to get this whole cock into his mouth or in his throat, but he was going to try. His lips were stretched, the cock filling his mouth as he relaxed his throat, taking him as deeply as he dared. Lincoln was gentle, holding Jack's head and moving just a little, his moans like the sound of velvet thunder.
Jack wished he could unhinge his jaws to take more of the giant into him; no matter how much of him he got, he still wanted more. But then he felt an ache in his groin and clenched his cheeks in anticipation before sliding his mouth away. "Fuck me," Jack whispered.
The giant picked him up as easily as if he were a pet, cradling him in his arms as he carried Jack up into one of the tall penis-shaped spires. They came to a room with an enormous bed of velvet strewn with rose petals and a small waterfall that gave way to a marble bathtub. Jack had barely gotten his bearings and taken in the rich tapestries of giants and wars and unicorns covering the walls when he was set daintily face down on the lush bed, his legs spread over the covers.
Lincoln's hands seemed to be everywhere on him at once, massaging, touching. Jack enjoyed the attention when he heard the slide of a drawer and the thop of a cork popping from a bottle. Then he smelled the deep spice of cloves as Lincoln's warm hands started to massage his thighs with a thick, silky oil, working between them slowly, sensually loosening the tension from his hips, parting his legs wider. Fingers slid inside of Jack, testing him, relaxing him. They were huge, almost as big as a normal man's cock.
Jack fucked the velvet bed as he was stretched, writhing in anticipation of coming again. He groaned into the duvet as Lincoln slid a second finger into him. Already this was wider than he'd ever been stretched, and he had yet to feel Lincoln's actual cock. It felt too wide to be real, so empty when Lincoln's fingers were gone that it left him gasping for air and clenching, desperate to be filled again.
Then he felt the bed sink down behind him as the giant mounted it, and the warm pressure of Lincoln's body as he angled himself just so. Even with his thighs spread so wide, Jack could feel the largeness and warmth of Lincoln's cock between them. "Oh God, now. I need you to fuck me now, please!"
If he had any shame at all, he would've been embarrassed for begging to be fucked, but as it was, he pushed his ass up, feeling the thick, hard head of Lincoln's cock like a fist at his opening.
"I'm going to fuck you like you've never felt it, my sexy, horny little man."
Shivering in anticipation, Jack took a deep breath when at long last he felt the dull, aching stretch of Lincoln's giant cock entering him. He curled his toes and tears sprang to his eyes. The stretching was extreme, pushing him apart in a way he'd never felt. It hadn't hurt this much since the first time he'd done it, but then it had never felt so good, either. He was full and getting fuller by the second as Lincoln eased into him.
Lincoln was careful, patient, far more patient than Jack could ever imagine being. He eased inside, shifting his weight forward until Jack was so full of him that he couldn't move. He buried his cheek against the soft velvet bed and inhaled slowly, taking a few more inches of Lincoln's cock inside of him. He smelled the rose petals and the spice of the oil and the musky scent of Lincoln, all melted together into the essence of perfect bliss. Jack's body folded around Lincoln as he pressed down against the soft velvet and rose petals. He'd never been so pleasantly split open, never felt so much a part of someone else in his life.
It was as if the tip of Lincoln's cock could physically touch his heart, warming it, making him feel whole and loved. Lincoln, as big as he was, so deep inside of him like this left no room for anything else. He took up Jack's whole world, covered it and pushed out every other thought, every other feeling, except their connection. Lincoln was deeper than anyone ever had been, ever would be again.
When Lincoln moved, it sent a ripple of sensation through Jack's body. Each time he pulled out, Jack felt incredibly empty, like he'd been hollowed out. Then, when Lincoln was inside of him again he felt full, whole. This was how he was meant to feel. This was all Jack had ever wanted, all he treasured. Spiritually, he never wanted it to end, but his body could only take so much of being filled this way.
After years of being asleep Lincoln must've needed this as badly as Jack did. He could feel the familiar body tightening and rushed thrusts of a man about to come. Even if he hadn't felt it, he could hear it in Lincoln's deep gasps and groans that he was reaching his climax. Lincoln slid a large hand under him to cup Jack's cock as his orgasm began. He was so full of Lincoln's cock and his come, he felt like he was going to overflow. He felt the wetness slicking down between his thighs as the come seeped out and Lincoln groaned again, shifting his weight to one arm so that he didn't flop on top of Jack and crush him.
It didn't take long for Jack to come into Lincoln's large palm. The orgasm trembled through him, shaking from his spine to his prick, making him feel briefly like he might black out until his balls tightened and he it spilled out of him in a wave of complete ecstasy.
Lincoln slid from Jack and lay down next to him. He carefully picked Jack up like a favorite doll and draped his loose body across his enormous chest. There were so many things Jack wanted to say right then, but his body was so spent he couldn't muster up the words. He felt so empty without Lincoln inside of him, gaping and wide. Lincoln seemed to sense this and slid a finger inside of him. Like that, Jack finally dozed off into a blissful slumber.
* * * *
Jack awoke to the smell of bacon crisping and to the rough, sore stretched feeling of being well and properly fucked. He couldn't remember ever being quite so thoroughly sated, or sore. Still, he slipped out of bed, following his nose through the castle corridors until he found the spacious and startlingly modern and well-equipped kitchen. He stopped, blinked, and when Lincoln noticed him, went to his side.
"I take it you had a good rest?" Lincoln reached to brush his long fingers through Jack's hair.
"I did. You wore me out! I'm surprised you weren't exhausted." Jack leaned into the touches, wincing a little at the pinch of pain from his posterior.
"I might've been asleep for centuries. Just not tired yet. However, your tummy was rumbling so I thought I'd try my hand at some cooking. It's not too difficult." Lincoln flipped the bacon. It sizzled and smelled incredible.
"Oh, I see." Jack blushed that his hunger was so obvious and his stomach was unable to contain its enthusiasm now. "As a matter of curiosity, where did you get the bacon...and for that matter, who installed your Electrolux appliances?"
Lincoln laughed. He was still naked, which is a dangerous way to cook bacon, but clearly he liked to live life on the edge. His log jiggled as he snickered. "Oh, well, it's an enchanted place. I merely have to wish things and they arrive. I'm glad you were asleep a while. The manual for using this stove was hard to read through."
Jack was surprised at this, but decided that "it's magic" was a good enough explanation for everything. Especially considering how he'd gotten here. "So I guess you don't want for anything."
"I wanted you." Lincoln grinned as he cracked some eggs into the pan.