Kissing Joan Collins
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by Lex Valentine
Category: Erotica/Erotic Romance/Gay Fiction
Description: Gay suspense author Logan Moore fell in love with the most perfect gay man ever during his freshman year in college. But his roommate and best friend Chase Courtland never showed an interest in him. Twelve years and a handful of failed relationships later, Logan acknowledges that he still loves Chase. When Chase puts on a designer dress, four-inch heels and a wig and transforms himself into Joan Collins for a Valentine's Day masquerade party, Logan's libido rockets out of control. One look at Chase's perfect ass in the skin tight dress and Logan is ready to drag him off to bed. But can two best friends bridge the gap of a dozen years of denial and build a life together after one amazing night of revelations, confessions and love?
eBook Publisher: MLR Press, LLC/MLR Press, LLC,
eBookwise Release Date: March 2012
3 Reader Ratings:
Available eBook Formats: OEBFF Format (IMP) [95 KB]
Reading time: 57-81 min.
The restaurant had red paper and foil hearts everywhere. The sight of them made Logan grit his teeth. Nowhere in the city could you go for lunch or dinner without seeing evidence of the coming holiday. He slid into the booth across from his brother, Jeremy, and grabbed the bottle of ale that conveniently waited for him. He poured it into a glass and took a hefty swallow. When he looked up, he found his brother's blue eyes gleaming at him.
"What? You know I hate Valentine's Day," he grumbled and took another drink from his glass.
"I know that you should have gotten over Marc a long ass time ago so that Valentine's Day didn't bother you any longer," his brother replied in a matter-of-fact voice. "So he dumped you on Valentine's Day. Christ, Logan. That was two years ago. Surely, you've fucked someone since then."
The trouble with siblings is that they knew you too well, Logan thought sourly as he stared at his brother. Jeremy knew most of the details of what had happened between him and his last lover. After all, Jeremy had helped Logan put his life back together after his cheating, twink-loving boyfriend had bailed on Valentine's Day with the contents of their joint savings account and all the furniture in their condo.
Three years Logan had invested in Marc and the man upped and took his money and furniture and moved to Los Angeles without a word. Oh, there had been a note about a job on a soap opera and how sorry he was to leave Logan without a stick of furniture, but he was certain it would be easier for Logan to buy more furniture than it would be for him to have to buy it once he got to L.A. And the note had briefly apologized for taking the joint bank account money too.
Yet, Marc hadn't apologized for breaking Logan's heart and dumping his dreams of marriage into the garbage disposal. It wasn't until Logan had come across a photo in a soap magazine that he discovered Marc had been cheating on him with a gay soap star every time he'd gone to L.A. to audition. A fucking prissy little pretty boy with kohl rimmed eyes who looked like he stuffed the front of his skin tight jeans with a sock.
Jeremy grunted and pushed a plate of loaded potato skins at him. "What is wrong with you? Sometimes you act like no one on the planet but you has ever been cheated on and dumped."
"Why are you picking on me?" Logan asked as he reached for an appetizer.
His brother huffed out an aggravated sigh. "Because you need someone to. You're fucking moping again. And you're moping over someone who's been gone from your life for quite awhile. Someone who never even fit into your life that well to begin with!"
Logan blinked at his brother in surprise. "Why the hell would you say that? We lived together!"
"Oh, for God's sake." Jeremy pulled a face. "Everyone but you knew Marc was using you, Logan. He couldn't hold down a job. He was always running off to L.A. for auditions. He'd disappear for days on end and come back with some stupid ass excuse for where he was and you swallowed his lies for three fucking years. You've no idea how many times I had to stop Julia from telling you the truth about him."
"Why the hell did you stop her?" Logan shook his head in shock. "And how the hell did you stop her? 'Cause she never breathed a word to me."
Their sister Julia -- Jeremy's twin -- was a formidable woman with a no-nonsense personality. Her brothers did their best never to do anything Julia wouldn't like. The consequences didn't bear thinking about. Unpleasant didn't even cover it.
Jeremy put down his half-eaten potato skin. "It wasn't easy. She doesn't suffer fools gladly and you were a damned fool. Even Chase said so."
Logan winced. How had he not known that everyone close to him had known Marc had played him? His best friend Chase Courtland hadn't said a word even when Logan had sat and whined on Chase's couch for twelve months after Marc had left. Logan realized then that he probably would still be whining on Chase's couch if the guy hadn't moved to Las Vegas for work.
In that instant, two truths dawned on him. One, he really had been moping over Marc far too long. Sure, he hadn't been celibate the last two years, but he'd not let anyone get close to him either. And two, he missed his best friend. Chase had moved away a year ago when his company had promoted him. Logan hadn't wanted to admit that he felt a little lost without Chase, but it was the truth. They'd been best friends since college and Logan had harbored a secret crush on Chase for all those years. He'd never, ever act upon it though because Chase was way out of his league.
He took another drink of his ale. "I can't believe none of you thought to clue me in," he grumbled. "My best friend and my siblings all know my boyfriend is cheating on me and you don't say a word. You just let him clean me out!"
"We didn't know he'd take your money," Jeremy protested. "If we'd known he'd do that, Julia for sure would have said something."
Silently, Logan acknowledged that his brother spoke the truth. He munched another potato skin and sipped his ale. It really was time that he stopped letting what Marc had done to him color his life. He used to like Valentine's Day before he got dumped on the holiday. He liked the crazy little candies and the excuse to be romantic. Hell, he even had a Valentine's card Chase had given him their senior year in college, one of those little fold up cards that elementary school kids gave each other. It had a cartoon of a red heart with arms and legs holding a sign that said, "Be Mine" on it. Logan had always cherished it.
"By the way, I got a call from Chase before I left to come here," Jeremy told him. "He couldn't reach you and figured you forgot your cell phone again. He knew I'd be on my way to meet you for our weekly lunch and I never forget my phone. He says he's coming to town next week and he'll be here for a couple of weeks. He's planning to crash at your place."
Logan bolted upright in his seat. Chase was coming? Would be there over Valentine's Day? Was staying at his place? Dear God. How in the hell would he survive?
"Why do you look like a mule just kicked you in the face?" Jeremy's blue eyes narrowed suspiciously.
Staring down at his ale, Logan mumbled, "Two weeks living with Chase can be daunting."
"You've got to be kidding me." Jeremy's voice held a note of astonishment. "Chase is the most easy going person I know. And besides, you two were roommates in college. Why the hell would it be daunting to have him in your house for two weeks when you lived together for four years and you've been best friends for a dozen?"
Logan raised his head and shot his brother a pleading look. "You don't understand."
Munching the last potato skin, Jeremy raised one brow. "You're right. I don't. Explain it to me."
A heavy sigh escaped Logan. "Chase is perfect. The most perfect gay man I've ever met. In college, we met because I sat there dumbfounded, staring at him throughout the whole DLP event. I never heard a word of the fraternity spiel. Afterward, Chase walked up to me and offered to buy me a drink. He said he wanted to know why I'd been staring at him like a deer in headlights for half an hour."
Jeremy rolled his eyes. "Why were you?"
"Because he's the most perfect gay man I've ever met!" Logan huffed out. "Even at eighteen he was! Beautiful, poised, comfortable in his skin, comfortable with being gay, popular and...perfect!"
"Why did I never know you had it this bad for Chase all these years?" Jeremy stared at Logan in surprise.
"It's not something I want the world to know. It's my deep, dark secret." Logan hunched his shoulders and glowered at his brother over the rim of his beer glass. "Now, it's yours too. Not a word to Jules. Not a peep to anyone."
Jeremy shook his head in amazement. "Dude, why don't you try telling Chase how you feel?"
Panic rippled through Logan. "No fucking way! Don't you think if Chase had been attracted to me that he would have said or done something by now? He goes after what he wants. I should know. I've watched him do it for twelve years."
"Well, there could be more to Chase than what you know. Your feelings for him and keeping yourself protected from him could be skewing your perceptions," Jeremy pointed out. "Look how Jules lied to herself for years about Ben. She didn't think he liked her and he'd been mooning over her forever. It could be the same with you and Chase."
"Oh, no. No way. I'm so not Chase's type." Logan knew this for a fact. Sure, the men Chase went for usually were tall like him, but there the resemblance ended. Chase liked bears, big guys with furry chests and thighs like logs. Logan might be six foot four, but he was built more like a quarterback than a lineman with long, lean muscles. And he didn't have a single hair on his chest.
Jeremy snorted in disgust. "You are such a wuss, Logan. Maybe Chase goes out with those big dudes because they aren't like you and won't remind him of you. Maybe he wants you as much as you want him, but he's just as afraid as you are to mess up your friendship."
"When the hell did you become Mr. Relationship Advice? You don't even date the same woman more than twice."
Jeremy shot him an evil look. "I do too...when I can find one that doesn't bore me that fast. Look, I'm just saying that maybe things aren't what they seem with Chase and you should think about that before you dismiss the notion that Chase doesn't think you're attractive. Don't be a pansy. Use the next two weeks to make him see you're interested."
"And get shot down?"
A napkin came sailing at him and he caught it in mid-air before it hit him in the face.
"You're such a fucking chickenshit, Logan. If you want the guy, tell him, show him, but don't sit on your ass and mope." Jeremy shook at finger at him to emphasize his words then reached for the menus. "Can we order now?"
Later that day, Logan's phone began playing Coldplay's Fix You, his ringtone for Chase. With a suddenly shaking hand, he picked it up and answered the call.
"Hey," he said, trying to keep his voice even.
"So you got my message from Jeremy?"
Chase's deep voice held a note of humor that warmed Logan from the inside out. It also did seriously crazy things to his stomach which felt as if it were flopping like a fish out of water.
"Yeah. He said you're coming to town for a couple of weeks. You're taking vacation in February?"
"It's not really a vacation."
Logan heard a wry note in Chase's response. "What's that mean? Either you're working or you're on vacation."
"Technically, I'm on vacation, but really, I'll be spending all my time looking for a house," Chase admitted. "I gave notice. I'm coming back to San Diego."
Happiness streaked through Logan to the point where he almost couldn't breathe. Quickly, he marshaled his composure and asked, "Why? I thought you loved your job."
Logan had always admired Chase with his IT degree and his brainiac job working for a company that specialized in making software bulletproof to hackers. His own lowly degree in literature had landed him a job at a local magazine right out of college, but he'd had some luck selling his first novel -- a mystery suspense with a gay cop hero -- to a big New York publisher. He now wrote full-time and only did a monthly column for the magazine where he'd once been a very junior reporter. In his mind, what he did wasn't nearly as amazing as what Chase did.
"I love what I do, but a job is a job, Logan," Chase said on a sigh. "And I'm tired of the way this company treats its clients since the merger that landed me out here in Vegas. And I'm tired of Vegas too. I need to be closer to my friends and family. I need to settle down."
"It's not that far," Logan protested. "And I can't believe you didn't meet anyone out there in Sin City."
Chase made a frustrated sound. "I met a lot of anyones, but no one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with."
For a brief moment, a vision flashed into Logan's head of himself and Chase, sitting on Chase's couch watching a Chargers game in their cut off sweats, sharing a tub of chocolate peanut butter ice cream and screaming themselves hoarse. It was something they'd done countless times over the past twelve years. The only thing that would have made the vision better was if Chase had kissed him when the Chargers scored. Logan had always longed for that, but knew in his heart it would never happen.
When Chase had moved to Las Vegas, Logan had wondered if his life would be easier, if he'd find someone to be with and forget how much he longed for his best friend. He wondered if he'd be able to handle things better when Chase finally fell in love if they weren't in the same city where he'd have to see Chase with his partner constantly. But he'd missed Chase fiercely when he left, to the point that he'd fallen into a depression. His siblings thought he was moping over Marc when it had really been Chase he'd been missing.
A sigh escaped him. "I know what you mean," he muttered.
Silence met his words, an anticipatory silence as if Chase was waiting for him to say something else, something important. When Logan didn't say anything, Chase made a huffing sound.
"So will you pick me up at the airport? And I can stay with you, right?" he asked in a businesslike tone.
"Yeah. Yeah, sure. Not a problem, buddy," Logan hastened to reassure him.
"And you'll look at houses with me? 'Cause I really need your input. You know how stupid I can be when it comes to a big purchase." Chase's voice sounded relieved but Logan had no idea why.
"Oh, I know about you and impulse buying. Sheesh. What were you thinking when you bought that damn Bug? A six foot tall, masculine male driving a fucking powder blue Volkswagen Beetle. Way to tell the world you're a limp-wristed pansy." Logan shook his head in wonder even though Chase couldn't see it.
"I am a limp-wristed pansy. Besides, the salesman was hot," Chase replied wryly. "And he was a good fuck too."
"Talk to the hand. I don't wanna hear it." Logan smiled at the wall of his office, imagining Chase grinning on the other end of the line. "You have a nice SUV that fits your long legs now and you haven't made another big impulse buy like that since so I suppose we should forget about that one lapse."
"Still, when I go to look at the houses the realtor lined up, I'd really like your opinion," Chase pleaded.
"Okay." Logan gave in with a grimace. House hunting with Chase. Yeah, that would be fun. Not. Looking at bedrooms, imagining Chase in them with another man. It would be sheer torture for Logan. He knew he'd end up imagining himself in each of the rooms with Chase. Fucking him. Sucking him. Being fucked by him.
He shook off the torturous visions that had his cock poking out the top of his shorts and obediently took down Chase's flight information.
"And don't forget, we have to get costumes for Jules' Valentine's Masquerade."
Chase's words wilted Logan's erection. His sister's parties could be fun, but a costume party on Valentine's Day wasn't his idea of a good time.
"I'll just wear my everyday clothes and go as a writer," he grumbled.
"Oh, no you don't! It's a themed party. A couples theme. And since you're my date, I am going to come up with something amazing for us. It will do you good to step out of your comfort zone," Chase told him.
Logan's heart leaped to his throat. "Chase, you seriously do not want to go this thing as my date. Jules will probably stock the guest list with every hot gay man in San Diego. If they see you as the other half of this costume couple thing, you'll be marking yourself as off limits to them."
"That's fine with me. I'm good with going as your date, Logan."
Chase's voice held a note of solemnity that made Logan frown. What the hell was up? Chase usually cruised the best looking guys at Julia's parties. And Logan's sister, knowing what type of guys Chase liked, usually had several available for him to choose from just like she kept throwing guys at him.
"Okay, fine. Whatever you want. It's your non-vacation."
"Damned right. Now, say goodbye, honey. I'll see you on the tenth at the airport," Chase said with a chuckle.
Logan stared at the phone in his hand after Chase hung up. The next two weeks would be Heaven and Hell. He had no idea how he would survive the torture but he figured it might take a lot of cold showers and a heck of a lot of masturbation to get through it. And maybe copious amounts of alcohol.