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Category: Erotica/Gay-Lesbian Erotica/Romance
Description: Sentenced to Hell for killing his betraying lover and himself, Marius is content to be a slacker. Sure, he seduces the occasional traffic violation into committing mass murder, but mostly, he enjoys hanging in his sweet 'comb and schmoozing with the other demons. Anything is better than being thrust into the Bank of Souls and thrown back into the Human world of pain and humiliation. So when Marius discovers his cushy assignment is hanging by a thread, he vows to do anything and everything vile and reprehensible to keep his station in Hell, even if it means seducing young divinity student Tristan Gordon to keep him from realizing that his place in Hell is completely accidental. But Tristan is both clever and beguiling, and no one is more surprised to discover Marius has gone from seducer to protector than Marius himself.
eBook Publisher: Dreamspinner Press/Dreamspinner Press, 2011 2011
eBookwise Release Date: July 2011

2 Reader Ratings:

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Available eBook Formats: OEBFF Format (IMP) [142 KB]
Words: 28648
Reading time: 81-114 min.

Chapter One

Wait, whoa. Marius bounded straight up and avoided a lumbering sand RV bearing down on him. The silly things swerved at unexpected moments; they guaranteed visual mayhem. Hold on, yes, jump again! The Demon neatly sidestepped the all-too-familiar careening orange dump truck. He bounced off a dissolving sand Mercedes just before the screaming driver sprawled into the sharp sand. The slick obsidian cliff wall loomed before him in dire splat threat. Marius urged his powerful thigh muscles to propel him straight up to the observation cliff's sharp, brittle edge. Talons skidded against slick glass. Marius balanced, took a giant step forward and landed in a straight, upright stance. Success!

What a brilliant workout. His thighs tingled in delight. The Unsafe Driver Level was popular with the legendary Leapers. Out of control, dissolving sand vehicles provided a daunting test of speed and reflexes. Ahh, wait, a complaint emerged from his left calf. A long forward lunge stretched out a prime stress knot. Once the brief stab vanished, Marius shifted from his tall Demon Leaper form into his beloved Human mode.

The ancient Roman marveled at the wild new levels conquering modern problems. When death by drunken, stupid, or careless motorized vehicle usage slammed into Hell, Lucifer and the Dukes of Hell flexed their creative bile and fashioned the Unsafe Driver Level. That thoughtless dump-truck driver must have done something mighty nasty; Marius had been avoiding his insanity for years.

Exhilarated, the Leaper exhaled a breath he never realized he'd held. A fellow Leaper, ah, it was Marley 1841 1450, arrived on the observation cliff. Marley clapped his hands in glee. "How is the sand action out there, Marius? Toodle-pip, today's course looks quite challenging. My word, time to overcome wall to wall sand madness!" The lofty-sounding Leaper shifted from his Human appearance into his sleek red Demon form.

See, Marius wasn't the only Demon who enjoyed his old-style Human form. Over the past years the Dukes had urged everyone to embrace Demonic unity. To Marius the scheme smacked of personal censorship, but he certainly had never aired his irritated thoughts. "The course is extremely intense. The RVs are completely out of control, and as usual the dump truck is wild. Today things dissolve in astonishing speed."

"Just the way I like it, my dear brother!" They slapped palms. Marley sketched a formal bow. "Please stay and watch my new opening move. I hope the timing works!" Marley soared across the sandy air and landed on a dissolving eighteen-wheeler. What a slick move. The Junior Leaper bounced off a few casino buses and almost wiped out. Rash!

Marius watched for an ugly accident, but Marley recovered and acrobated his way through the shimmering chaos until he became a mere speck. Show over, but Marius gave Marley high points for fine daring. Leaper accidents pissed off the Duke's overworked Fiends. One time, on a dare, of course, Marius had tried the Unsafe Driver Level challenge in Human form. A stupid face-plant caused a messy sand pileup over in the third quarter. Marius ended up banished to a boiling acid pit for a year. Dull, dull, dull! See, rules kept everything in check. Act stupid, and pay the price.

Lately, plenty of Hellish issues crept around Marius's troubled mind. Stop fretting! Too much thinking never amounted to anything good in Hell. He snapped his fingers in summoning, then smoothed the light silk of his red toga over his muscular body. Walking around naked was fine, but his old-style modesty had never felt comfortable with casual display. Instead, he covered his oh-so-naughty Human body. Humph. Not the time to act sullen. No, time to check out tomorrow's schedule. Each day offered new and strange challenges.

Marius ducked into an open hot-air tube, compacted his body and whooshed up to Level 13.

His special position in High Duke Asmodeus's realm kept Marius active. Asmodeus recognized Marius's talents for diplomacy and discretion, which wasn't always easy in the vast Hellish crowd featuring unruly Imps, Fiends, Demons, Goblins, Shades, Harpies, insane Freaks and so many other minor Hellions. Easygoing Marius liked living, all right--existing, in Hell. After two thousand years, the astute Marius understood the trust and avoid lexicon. Hell offered fine career advancement and the chance to excel. Where else could an uneducated Roman wrestler secure career advancement? In reality, Hell felt like home to Marius.

Amusing how religions tangled everything up. Long story short: when normal Humans died, they traveled to Hell. Face it, how many Saint-caliber Humans existed in the world? Start counting on fingers and, in a banner year, add a few toes. The Cloud Crew only appreciated sterling people--who had led boring, sedate lives--and Innocent children. From what Marius heard, many children ended up with the Cloud Crew. To Marius, occupying a serene space filled with bores and children sounded deadly dull. What did one do for fun? Sing happy tunes? Bleargh.

Level thirteen flamed forth in threatening atmosphere. Ostentatious theater suited this distinctive level. Marius popped from the tube, straightened his snug red toga, and walked toward the meeting room where Neletian, Asmodeus's secretary, left the daily Demonic chore list. Since Marius had achieved Senior Leaper rank, he scored easy jobs. A favorite task was escorting the new arrivals to their personal Hell. The old Hell gag: take them somewhere horrible, like where the mass murderers were tortured, and watch them scream and babble in complete disbelief at their so-called dismal fate. Always a great joke, good for lengthy howls. Seeing their relief when they reached their mundane little Hells, like a week playing poker with their farting Aunt Sadie, made Marius grin when they thanked him like he was Lucifer. Come on, mighty Lucifer only reviewed the serious cases: dictators, serial killers, and career politicians.

At least generous Lucifer allowed everyone to peek at the latest torments; something new always trumped the latest disaster-flick opening. The Horned One's sparkling imagination produced superior punishment. He operated on the simple principle of give the condemned opposite treatment. Raging firebugs lived in pools of ice cold oil, able to create nothing but damp sparks. Serial killers were armed with clay knives with only their own bodies to torment. Talk about frustration! Politicians were forced to tell the truth, which looked hilarious when they entered a room loaded with screaming, sore-ridden, shit-stinking babies for them to kiss. Imps loved playing the Hell babies. Simple, yet effective.

Most people, depending on their usually minor sins, served their short time, ascended into the Bank of Souls, and dreamed until their soul soared free to perform the flesh dance again. Another simple, streamlined procedure.

A shiver infected Marius. He pushed open the carved, gore-spattered doors. Generous Asmodeus had offered Marius the chance to enter the Bank of Souls quite a few times, but Marius always declined. Why chance ending up somewhere worse? Why return to Earth? He saw no point. In his mind, returning as a North Korean peasant destined to starve to death or a doomed African child made little sense. Entering the Bank of Souls felt like a dreadful crapshoot. No thanks.

Enough intellectual gymnastics. Time to review tomorrow's tasks, return to his comfortable comb, and relax on the back porch overlooking the serene Tiber before it flowed into Rome. In reality, his jasmine-filled porch overlooked a spectacular lava waterfall, normally a desirable scene in Hell, far superior to the endless desert or blood-rain fields, but Marius's lofty status allowed him access to superior scene shifting spells. When asked about his classy comb, Marius enthused over the fiery view, but he enjoyed his tranquil sunset river scenes created from his last living memories. He truly enjoyed his swanky HDTV. Tonight Marius needed to see how the amusing Rome series ended. Serious TV addiction ruled his mind, but please, in Hell, watching TV did not equal a sin.

Marius released a low whistle. Scores of lists hung from the long snakeskin board. Poor Neletian's fingers must have cramped from typing in the assignments. A quick scan explained the problem: a major earthquake had hit China; a typhoon had slammed into India; parts of Europe experienced record flooding; and another earthquake had rocked Mexico City. What an ugly quartet of destruction. Quite sad. Hmm, a virtual avalanche of souls overwhelmed Hell's confines. Still, the flaming "If You Don't Show Up for Work Guess What Happens" sign made Marius laugh. Hmm, perhaps a dull month in the acid pit as punishment? He strolled along the yards of M lists looking for his name. Since she liked Marius, Neletian usually made his assignment easy to find. She did, it hanging last and set apart from the other M lists.

Three blazing words seared across a sheet of red stationery. "See me immediately."

The flaming A symbol made Marius swallow in apprehension. Why did the Boss need to see Marius in person? The Leaper flicked through recent memories. He owned no reason to feel frightened.

Try telling that to his quivering nerves.

Chapter Two

Damn, Neletian's office was already empty, so no asking her for quick information. Right, on Thursdays she left to enjoy the Dire Wound Saltings held down on Level Four KMD. The Saltings were really popular with women since serial rapists had their... urk. Marius shivered again and clutched his upper thighs. Ouch. No thank you.

Two slobbering Archfiends, both unfamiliar to the Leaper, glared at Marius in customary arrogance. One gnarled black claw pointed in imperious disdain. The left Archfiend sneered in question. "Halt, you wretched slug. Are you expected?"

What bad manners! Tsk, Archfiends should know better than to make assumptions based on casual appearance. The Senior Marius could pull rank and rip out their throats, but instead he smiled and silently held up the flaming request. The bold A signature sizzled. The Archfiends bowed in sudden respectful attitude. The right Archfiend knocked on the door and spoke into a small opening. "My Great and Dire Lord Asmodeus, Senior Leaper Marius is here to see you."

A low rumble echoed through the tall, solid blood doors. Asmodeus's voice, if raised in anger, possessed the capacity to flatten Fiends by the thousands. The left Archfiend opened the dripping door just enough to allow Marius entrance. What a rude bastard. Marius stepped into the long room and bent forward in a supremely respectful bow. "You wished to see me, oh Dread Lord?"

Asmodeus looked up from his beloved NYT crossword puzzle and impatiently waved his left talons. "Cut the menial crap, Marius, and come sit down. Why does everyone feel the need to tiptoe around me? Am I such a flaming bastard?"

Not a question anyone in his sane mind wanted to answer. Hopefully the demonic Duke didn't desire a true answer. Please. The unsettled Marius walked for what felt like ten minutes across quivering red slime until he reached Asmodeus's pulsating lava desk. Neat trick to keep the NYT puzzle from erupting into flames. Another bow felt proper. "Please, Lord, you--"

The low rumble shook the entire cavern. A few small boulders crashed into the bloody floor. "Hmm, yes, I seem to remember asking you to cut the crap."

Someone desired an honest answer. Marius cocked his head and shrugged in helpless truth. "Fine. My Lord, you do scare the crap out of everyone." He huddled back expecting to meet the opposite bloody wall.

Asmodeus's three heads chuckled in delight. "And lo, look there, piles of steaming scat appeared in his wrathful wake. Excellent. Glad to hear my bad-assed reputation still inspires the proper respect. Marius, you old coward, stop acting like I might eviscerate you. Not my plan for this afternoon." His bull head nodded in sage agreement while his snake tail slithered around his huge ruby wine goblet. "Find your spine, sit down, and try this wine. Poetic, eh? Yes indeed, I am a classy old fart. I know you enjoy fine Human wine over bloodwine, which is why I like you so much. You are a classy Leaper." One Human arm poured vermillion wine from a filthy, coral-encrusted bottle, the vessel looking like something recently pulled from a shipwreck.

Relieved to still be standing, Marius accepted the smaller goblet and sipped. His tongue appreciated the arousing sensation. "Mmm, Dread Lord, this tastes truly delicious. What ocean yielded this bounty?"

A talon gestured toward the ceiling. "The wicked old Caribbean. A few modern-day pirates found a fifteenth-century Spanish shipwreck occupied by killer sharks. Yum, yum, yum, crunch, crunch! Guess who enjoys the tasty spoils? I scored the bottles and old casks. Wonderful! I love procuring the real deal. Bloodwine simply doesn't satisfy the palate as much." Three left eyes winked in glee.

As usual Marius found the sight unsettling, but he saluted his boss and enjoyed another mouthful. The superior wine captured a sunny emotion almost forgotten in Marius's soul. He swore he had tasted such a rich vintage back when he enjoyed life. Curious. Still, Asmodeus did not summon Marius simply to share this fine old wine. Time to act blunt. "My Dread Lord, what do you wish from me?"

Asmodeus rumbled in amusement. "Marius, please don't worry. You are still my favorite Leaper. You could cause a ten sand pile-up in your favorite Level, and I'd let you slide. Your skill navigating the Dangerous Drivers has won me a tidy sum of souls."

What? Marius blinked and cocked his head. "You bet on us?"

"Why not? The Dukes enjoy supporting their favorites. I admit I started the popular trend. No surprise there, eh? I adore that deranged Level. Once you practiced the course, you beat it every time, but last week when Baal aimed a rogue RV your way, I wanted to slap him into the nearest acid pit. As usual, you rose above the challenge and made me feel proud. I gained a fallen Angel as a pet. I won an excellent bet." Asmodeus chuckled again and relaxed back. "But enough happy talk. An important mission awaits your expertise." All three faces: bull, Human and ram, fell into serious expression. "I'll be blunt; someone made one Heaven of a fuck up."

Another slow blink felt proper. The Senior Leaper almost wept in apprehension. Hearing such a declaration meant the new special task guaranteed hairy-assed danger. Instead of wincing like a coward, Marius shifted in his thorn-studded seat and sipped his wine. "What happened, my Dread Lord?"

All six eyes rolled in disgust. "Someone destined for the Wing Wagger Whoopie ended up here."

Startled, Marius choked on his sip. The news sounded worse than anticipated. One word broke free. "No." Fine, mistakes were made, but rarely on such a cosmic scale.

Appendages decorated with scales, skin, talons, and fur rose to shoulder level. "Can you believe such a stupid mess? Here's the specific problem: the man in question was entered as a suicide, when in truth he suffered an allergic reaction to swine flu medication. I tell you these new sicknesses really screw up the Eternal Lists. He's a divinity student--how dull--and, according to the Sacred Scrolls, he should have gone on to be the rare stellar reverend. No constant boozing, no little boys, no wayward behavior. Nope, instead he was supposed to be a man dedicated to helping the hopeless. No fun for us, but what a home run for the Wing Waggers. Whoops, he is down here, but they want him up there. Indeed, they want him enough to politely ask for his return. Amazing for them to admit their mistake. Fancy wing Michael feels oh so sorry!" Asmodeus leaned forward and winked. "Here's the sweet part: the Cloud Clods messed up his initial exam. They flushed their sterling prize before someone sounded the celestial alarm. We are blameless. We can keep him here. I feel sure if we ran a rigorous review of his life, we'd find something to keep him. You know, occasional speeding here or a pen theft there. Since Humans always fuck up on the bigger tag sins, we don't usually enforce the minor crap, but with him the trick would work. However, since Cloud Clods want him, I'll play nice."

Play nice? Really. Why? Marius sipped again. Judging by the smug expression on Asmodeus's shifting faces, the playing nice part never entered the Duke's twisted mind. Or did he own minds? Three heads, one mind? Not the time to dwell on the curious spectacle. Instead Marius smiled in polite anticipation. "So where do I enter into the situation?"

A hoof pointed down in serious threat. "Marius, you need to ensure this divine recruit never reaches his final destination. I want him as ours. Keeping him down here is a grand 'up yours' to the Cloud Clods."

Hmm. "Permission to use all my abilities?"

The bull face leered in magnificent lust. "Marius, I give you permission to lead this poor lamb around Hell for as long as you wish. Give this divinity student the full course meal. Show him what he missed for all those years. Make him embrace us, love us and, most importantly, remain with us." The serpent tail waved in sinuous suggestion.