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by Venita Louise
Description: The Beals live in a upper middle class neighborhood in the mid 1960's. Frank is a jingle writer who is having more than a little trouble coming up with a shoe polish jingle. Trying to keep up with the neighbor's expensive tastes is a full time job in itself. But when Frank butts heads with a Voodoo practicing Brazilian gardener, he gets much more than he bargains for, especially when he is distracted by all the spells flying back and forth, with a force strong enough to turn his wife into a love-starved siren and his children into well-behaved angels.
eBook Publisher: Vinspire Publishing, 2005
eBookwise Release Date: January 2007
3 Reader Ratings:
Available eBook Formats: OEBFF Format (IMP) [170 KB]
Reading time: 106-149 min.
"I found Mixed Nuts to be a unique reading experience. The characters are colorful and quirky, and full of life. The story is a pleasure to read, sometimes a bit off the wall, sometimes melancholy, and always a bit humorous. I had read nothing about this book prior to picking it to review, and as often turns out to be the case, feel like I managed to unearth a hidden gem. Set in the 60's this one has a flavor of the unrest of the times. I found this especially true of the wife in this story. Joan longs for more than the happy housewife's existence expected of her and throws herself wholeheartedly into exploring her sexuality when given the opportunity. Far and above, the star of this one is the husband, Frank. He longs for something in his ordinary life and seems to not even know what it is himself. Watching him and his goofy brother stumble their way through voodoo spells and deal with the consequences had me in tears of laughter. If you are looking for something different, a bit offbeat filled with a lot of zany situations ... pick this one up."--Johnna, Fallen Angels
"Venita Louise has created a hysterically funny comedy in Mixed Nuts. I don't know how she does it. Each character is so intriguing, so unique, like Frank Beal's little daughter who wears a hard hat or his savvy son. His son so reminded me of my own son at that age. And that's the other thing. With as quirky and unusual as the characters are, solving their neighbor problem using voodoo, hitting snails over the fence for revenge, wearing a kilt and no teeth, somehow, I could find myself in that plot very easily. Maybe this means that we all have weird kids and quirky relatives and neighbors we are jealous of? I don't know, I just know that I haven't had this satisfying a laugh in a LONG time. Thanks Ms. Louise, you are a pearl. Please write more! I can't wait for the next book!"--Hazelstreet Productions
"It has a 289 V8 engine, more than enough power to take you and that beautiful family of yours anywhere you want to go," the car salesman beamed.
"We'll take it," Joan said as she inspected the wood veneer along the side of the station wagon.
"Honey," Frank laughed uncomfortably. "We need some time to talk about this, it's a major purchase," he said to the salesman.
The salesman gave him an acquiescent nod.
Matt bounced enthusiastically behind the steering wheel making engine noises with his mouth. Frank took Joan by the elbow and guided her to the other side of the car. "Let's discuss this."
Joan frowned. "What's to discuss? It's a Ranch Custom wagon."
"So?" Frank frowned.
She smiled deliciously and squeezed her arms around his middle and pressed up against him. Emerald eyes met his hazel. "So," she said as she kissed underneath his jaw. "Joan and Rex Roberts will be green with envy."
Frank frowned. He was beginning to wonder if it wouldn't be easier to murder the Roberts instead of spending money they didn't have to make them jealous.
"That's a lot of green to slap down to create more of the color green," he replied.
"Don't you just love the smell of a new car, though?" Joan asked with a hopeful expression.
"Within two weeks it's going to smell like the old one, an odorous combination of French fries, pizza, and Matt's science projects," Frank argued.
Joan sighed. "You only go around once in life, you've got to grab all the gusto you can."
Frank scratched his head. "But why does gusto have to be so expensive?"
Joan looked at the salesman. "We'll take it," she said again.
"Great!" The salesman clapped his hands together. "Let's get the paperwork started." He motioned for them to follow him to the sales office.
"Where's Susan?" Joan's eyes scanned the showroom.
Frank ran tired fingers over his dark short-cropped hair. "My guess is she's underneath the car checking the brakes."
"Folks!" The salesman raised an arm and called from the sales office.
Frank pulled Matt from behind the steering wheel before they marched into the sales office.
"Have you seen our daughter?" Joan asked as she stepped into the office and sat down.
"I'm here, Mother," Susan said from behind. She walked up to the salesman and coolly tore the top sheet from her clipboard. "I've found a fire hazard in your coffee room." Her yellow hard hat seemed to take on an even more official gleam.
He hesitatingly took the paper and looked at her with surprise.
"Do you know it isn't safe to repair a frayed cord with black sticky tape?" She shook her head. "Either replace the cord, or buy a new percolator within two weeks, or I will have to report you to the fire department."
The salesman looked at Frank and Joan. They smiled and shrugged in unison.