Hypneratomachia [Captain Spycer #2]
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by J. D. Crayne
Category: Science Fiction/Humor
Description: Interstellar Adventuring Has Never Been So Funny--Or So Dangerous! Move over Robert Asprin and Piers Anthony, science fiction has a new uncrowned king of comedy--and space opera! Hard on the heels of the side-splitting, hair-raising bestseller Tetragravitron, comes an all new adventure of Captain Spycer, that voluptuous, redheaded, space heroine, and her trusty crew--robot Peter Decade, scaly red Col. Krabchake, lewd and lecherous Prof. Groppe, and that wide-eyed innocent Brian Lefarge--are off to save the universe in their cosmic-powered ship. In this new challenge, our stalwart crew is looking for the evil masterminds behind some mysterious force that sucks the power out of stars, leaving their satellites frigid and lifeless. This hilarious adventure pits our courageous heroes against the rulers of a lost colony. The colonists' aim? To set off an explosion at the center of the universe which will equal the Big Bang and return the cosmos to utter chaos! The Captain and her trusty crew pit their collective wits against the Archchancellor and his evil College of Chancellors, who claim that mystic revelations from a mysterious Dreamer at the core of the world command them to commit suicide on a grand scale--taking the rest of the universe along with them. Along the way, our intrepid band of rescuers meet a cast of fascinating characters that pay homage to science fiction and fantasy greats of the past. The gorgeous Captain meets a merciless Emperor while timid Brian Lefarge finds romance with a platinum blonde. Prof. Groppe learns to push buttons without hands, and the crew learns the source of the tooth-resistant sausage in their backpacks. Explosions, force fields, and tsunamis stand in their way, as well as giant insects, thundering avalanches, and freezing cold, but the Captain and her crew fight the odds and race against time to save the universe from dissolution. Meanwhile, the evil Archchancellor plots to send them all to Dreamland via his mysterious hypneratomachia system, a device that suspends heretics in limbo, at the mercy of the worst nightmares imaginable!
eBook Publisher: Renaissance E Books/PAGETURNER,
eBookwise Release Date: July 2005
26 Reader Ratings:
Available eBook Formats: OEBFF Format (IMP) [197 KB]
Reading time: 123-172 min.
The floor shook, the windows rattled, and flakes of plaster fell off of the ceiling, floating gently down toward the large table in the middle of the meeting room.
"What was that explosion!" General George Dickerson bellowed, momentarily riveted to his seat by the deafening sound.
"Chem lab blowing up?" one of the half-dozen white-jacketed scientists suggested.
"If it was, the guy had better take up physics instead," another one said glumly, dusting the plaster dust off of her clip board.
Captain Sherilyn Spycer, who was trimming her nails with a handy stiletto, tossed back her red-gold hair, glanced at her superior officer and shrugged.
"Probably just Professor Groppe again. It's all right. I saw his aide heading for the Commissary, so the Professor was most likely alone and didn't blow up anybody who mattered."
They could hear yells, the sound of running feet and, after a moment, the shrill wail of emergency sirens.
The Captain checked the rest of her nails, slid the dagger back into her boot scabbard, and pulled on her white leather gauntlets.
"Go on," she said, nodding at the General. "You were saying?"
The General cleared his throat and drummed his fingers on the table. "Doctor Dawson, from the Palomar Observatory," he nodded toward a senior scientist who was sitting across the table, "submitted a committee report which shows some kind of interstellar anomaly..."
He broke off suddenly and slammed one meaty fist down on the table. "Dammit! How the hell did Groppe manage to set off an explosion? He hasn't even got any hands!"
"No," Captain Spycer said, brushing a few flecks of plaster off of her silver and blue Command Force uniform, "but he's been experimenting with a new telekinetic accessory kit for his life-support system and has gotten pretty good at moving small things around. As long as they're within about a meter of him, that is. He unbuttoned his secretary's blouse yesterday, while she was taking dictation. I warned Col. Krabchake not to leave him within manipulating range of any buttons, levers, or knobs."
"What do you suppose he blew up?" one of the more junior scientists asked with lively interest.
"It sounded less like an explosion than an abortive launch to me," the Captain said. "Colonel Krabchake took Professor Groppe on a facilities tour so my guess is that he accomplished an unscheduled, premature lift-off of that Asimov-II rocket that you've all been working on. It will probably come down in..." She pressed some buttons on the miniature calculator set into her left gauntlet cuff. "...Istanbul in about two hours and thirty seven minutes."
"Oh hell!" the General leaped out of his chair and bolted for the door, followed by most of the meeting attendees, who overturned chairs and stepped on each other's toes in their hurry to get out through the door.