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Category: Erotica/Classic Erotica
Description: The Classic of Victorian Erotica. In a work that ranks with My Secret Life and The Way of a Man with a Maid, Pauline is an acknowledged masterpiece of Victorian era erotic literature. The story of a comely young woman who receives training in singing as well as sexuality on her way to stardom as an internationally famed opera singer, Pauline frankly describes the experience of sexual initiation in the upper class of international society during the "Naughty Ninties." Written in the form of intimate letters shared with a female friend, Pauline unfolds a lifetime of sexual exploration and adventure.
eBook Publisher: Renaissance E Books/Sizzler, 2004
eBookwise Release Date: October 2004
16 Reader Ratings:
Available eBook Formats: OEBFF Format (IMP) [386 KB]
Reading time: 271-380 min.
After something like a year-and-a-half, my voice had developed to a point where neither Vera nor my Sunday school teacher could have been of any assistance to me. Indeed, I had quite passed beyond both, and if I were to do anything about it at all, it would be necessary to go somewhere where I might gain the necessary finishing touches.
It had been arranged that I would go to Austria, where I would finish my musical education. Vienna being the popular place at that time, I was sent there. I was heartbroken when it came time to leave my parents and Vera, but I soon got over it, and I might add here that it was the only time in my whole life when I really felt bad about anything. I thought, too, that it would be dreadful to be cast among strangers in such a far off country. But to my surprise, I found it delightful.
Many other girls and young men were there, all studying voice. They were unusually nice to me, as were the aged instructors. One in particular was wonderfully patient with me.
Knowing that I had never been away from home before, he was sympathetic and anxious to make me comfortable. I spent a week in his home where both he and his delightful wife did everything possible to make my stay a pleasure.
But, unfortunately, they were Puritans. Can you imagine me being with Puritans. Can you imagine me being puritanical, my friend? Me, above anyone?
Fortunately I wasn't to be under their jurisdiction all the time. I saw many things during the study hours that quite awakened me. At home, I had heard of almost every kind of love. In Vienna, I was to see it.
You remember that at the time I went there, there was a governor in charge who certainly must have believed in "free love." Besides being rather lax in the enforcement of civil laws, he was really a despoiler, a vulgarian. His court reeked with scandal. It was common gossip that he abused his wife and kept a dozen whores in constant attendance. This influence spread. His subjects, copying him, did likewise.
The theaters were nothing more than brothels where the most indecorous practices were indulged. Men and women alike wandered unhindered backstage, and the most brazen flirtations were carried on. All of this, of course, I missed; I only mention it here to convey to you the deplorable condition of Vienna at that time.
The school was housed in an old converted castle, and here every passionate thought was expressed, though, of course, in a more guarded manner. But there were any number of things that couldn't very well be hid, and through it all, I found myself in a most unusual frame of mind. Chief among other things, I found myself wanting a male companion. I saw dozens of girls who made no effort to hide the fact that they had lovers. Indeed, some three or four different ones even went so far as to suggest fixing me up with some friend they had, or knew. But Vera had poisoned my mind with thoughts of possessing a handsome man, one who was sympathetic and understood real love.
My real objection was the danger involved. I had never forgotten Vera's experience; how, after allowing her professor friend to fuck her a few times, she had to spend days in bed while a doctor relieved her of the "aftereffects." I didn't want any of that.
But that in no way diminished my desire for a lover. No, indeed. I longed for it, yet I dared not make my desires known.
It had been arranged that I was to maintain a small cottage during my stay in Vienna, and about a week after my arrival, I was successful in getting one that suited my needs. Also, I was supplied with a very pretty and charming maid, and while she was unusually smart and quite happy in her new environment, she was not for me--at least not in the manner I preferred!
I had been at the school not quite a month when my professor suggested to me that I have what he termed "a tryout" with a local booking agent he seemed to be well acquainted with. The very next day he took me there. This agent happened to be a Spaniard, and though I had never taken kindly to Spaniards, this one proved to be most unusual in many ways. To begin with, he seemed quite taken with me. He told me frankly that I had a very wonderful voice and encouraged me to accept a place with a small opera company operating under his supervision. It wouldn't, he said, amount to very much of anything, but it would give me the "atmosphere" I needed, as well as get me used to appearing before an audience.
Naturally I accepted this generous offer, and the following day I was interviewed by the manager of the opera company. I had a most interesting talk with him, and then, quite without warning, he said, "Now, my dear, let me see your legs."
And though he said this in a very matter-of-fact manner, I was somewhat taken aback with the suddenness of it. Seeing my cheeks turn a flaming red, he added, "Have no fear, my dear--to me legs are something to hold up the body, nothing more."
He then explained to me that, besides a voice, I must possess very pretty and shapely legs, since the costumes I would have to wear would be rather revealing. Thus reassured, I got over my timidness and brazenly lifted my dress. But I quite overdid it. Catching sight of my reflection in a large mirror, I discovered my dress was high enough to display not only my legs, but a considerable portion of my hips and belly. This, coupled with the fact that I was wearing only the briefest possible drawers, gave him a view of everything he might have cared to look at.
But it so happened, he cared only to view my form for exactly the reason he had said. He never so much as placed his hand on me, nor did he make the slightest suggestive remark. He only told me, quite frankly, that I had the most beautiful legs, hips, and buttocks he had ever gazed upon. The whole affair ended by my being engaged to perform with his company.
I was so happy I burst into tears. My rise so far had been sudden, and my good fortune quite overcame me. The old gentleman allowed me to have my cry, and when I had recovered, he told to report for rehearsal the following morning.
That night I wrote mother telling her of my good fortune, and I'm sure she found traces of my tears on the pages.
Somehow it never occurred to me to investigate the type of theatrical company I was joining, and I didn't discover its true nature until the following day when I reported for my first rehearsal. As you might already have guessed, I wasn't left long in doubt.
The company, as I recall it, consisted of some fifty persons, thirty of which were women and girls, the remainder young men.
My first surprise came when I viewed the type of dress I was supposed to wear at these rehearsals. I use the term "dress" lightly. If a pair of short, lacy drawers can be called a dress, then they were dresses. What shocked me more was that the female members of the company were expected to change from street clothes in plain sight of the men. Some even seemed to enjoy it, going so far as to literally strip stark naked before them. And, strangely enough--I thought--the men seemed to take little or no notice of them. It was with much misgiving that I likewise stripped off my outer clothes and took my place with the others.
Despite my nervousness and seeming modesty, don't think I wasn't aroused, my dear. Having been away from the caresses of Vera for so long a period, and having none other with whom I might indulge my passion, I became quite smitten with some of the girlish charms I saw so freely displayed. Indeed, I became quite overcome with them.
And the talk among them! Everyone, it seemed, had a sweetheart, and each one seemed to be competing with the others in their descriptions of them. This one had a boyfriend who possessed the most wonderful cock in the whole world. Another boasted of the wonderful party she and her friend had attended; there had been endless quantities of wine and champagne, and long before midnight the whole crowd had taken off their clothing and finished the night in the various beds supplied for the purpose. The teller of the story seemed to be the heroine of the evening and boasted of the fact that she had had two men at one time.
Very startling to say the least. No one seemed to pay the least attention to me; they simply took me for granted. It being but a rehearsal, I got through with it somehow. There were two full weeks of this, and by the end of that time, I became quite used to the whole thing, even to the point of going about almost completely naked. Before the opening of the show, I had forgotten all about such a thing as modesty and found myself undressing--quite nonchalantly--in the presence of the male members of the company.
And when this idea of modesty had forever been banished from my thoughts, I took to it like a duck takes to water. Indeed, I quite surprised myself. And do not think for a moment, my dear, that I hadn't chances to pick out a lover. Indeed, no! There was a never-ending line to choose from. It being a new show, and a good place to pick out new beauties, the stage and wings were constantly filled with men and women who, as I stated before, flirted in the most brazen manner. While several of the girls listened to the giddy tales whispered into their ears, I remained aloof. I wanted none of them. The man who was to get my maidenhead was to get it through pure love and not for a cheap thrill.
As I have already mentioned, by the time the show opened I had become quite used to appearing in various stages of undress among the members of the troupe, but the opening night was quite something else again, and I'll never forget the thrill I experienced when the curtain went up! As I have said, my costume was brief. It consisted of but a tiny, fluffy skirt which flared out about my waist, while the waist--if you could call it such--was nothing more than a bit of gauze which left both breasts naked.
My part in that first show was small. It consisted of a few lines, and I sang in the assembly numbers. But it wasn't the lack of a juicy role that bothered me; it was the almost complete state of undress in which I was obliged to perform. Now, it also happens that I was positioned beside our leading lady--or prima donna, as she was known--and she was always whispering encouraging words into my ear. This woman was about thirty years old. Besides being very beautiful, she had a splendid voice, and at that time was all the rage in Vienna. She was the whole show, of course. That opening night the stage was a sea of flowers. Baskets and boxes of them sat everywhere.
There was nothing of the drama about the thing; it was a simple little Shakespearean era piece chosen primarily for its erotic songs, a part quite suited to our prima donna. I well recall a little scene in the last act. The stage was set like a flower garden. In the center of this bower-like place was a flower-decked couch, and upon this reclined our leading lady. Just before the curtain descended on this last act, I was supposed to step close to her--while she lay upon the couch in almost total nakedness--and sprinkle flower petals down on her upturned face. I was doing very nicely until she touched my thigh with one of her hands, a little gesture which quite startled me. She whispered something to me, but I was so taken by surprise at her silken touch that I didn't make out the words.
As is the custom on opening night, the "elite" gave our prima donna a party backstage. I had heard considerable whisperings going on and, from what I heard, I gathered it was to be something most unusual, so I gracefully made my exit. I was hardly ready for a wild party as yet. The following evening, however, I heard all about it, and then I was doubly glad I hadn't taken part, for the whole affair turned itself into a most awful orgy. All the members of the company, as well as the men and women guests, stripped stark naked and indulged in every method of sexual pleasure quite openly.
The second night I didn't escape quite so easily, however.
During the last act, when I had to sprinkle her with the rose petals, she whispered to me that I should come to her dressing room as soon as I could after the closing scene. Wondering what she could want with me, I mentioned it to some of the others. I saw them shrug their shoulders and wink their eyes meaningfully, but they said little. I was determined to find out something about it; the apparent mystery surrounding the reason for my invitation prompted me to delve into it further, and so I managed to corner a little blonde. When I asked her what our prima donna could possibly want with me, she smiled faintly, and said, "She's awfully nice--if you like her kind--and she gives those she favors wonderful presents."
And then she turned and walked off, leaving me quite as much in the dark as ever. What she meant by that I hadn't the slightest idea--but I was soon to know.
Upon entering our prima donna's dressing room, I found her still changing.
"Sit down," she said, smiling very prettily, then: "What happened last night, my dear? You didn't stay for my party?"
I made some excuse or other, and she went on: "Ah, I know! You are a very naughty girl! You had a lover waiting for you; but you should have invited him here to my party! He would have enjoyed it, I'm sure!" And she looked at me from beneath her long lashes in a very naughty manner.
She then told me that she wished me to go to her apartment with her, and since I could not gracefully refuse, I accepted her invitation. The others had already departed by the time we emerged, and a few moments later, we entered a carriage and were driven off to what proved to be her "hotel." This was a very famous retreat among the gentry at that time, and there she maintained a suite. There were nine rooms in all, and until that time, I had never seen anything nearly approaching it in splendor. Two large drawing rooms, an elegant dining room, a dressing room, and last but not least, a beautiful sunken bath. Everything was literally covered with flowers. It was indeed a fairy bower if I ever saw one.
Left alone for the moment, I cast my eyes about. I saw many small pieces of statuary of the most erotic kind, many depicting various women of past fame. All were nudes.
At the end of the drawing room I first entered, there hung a life-size painting of the prima donna, herself. It was also a nude. She had posed for it, she said, and I believed her, for the artist had brought out every detail of her body and limbs, even to the patch of golden hairs on her lower belly and her lovely pink-lipped cunt. It was very accurate as I was later able to attest. While I stood admiring it, she joined me.
"Does it look like me?" she asked, slipping one arm about my waist and pressing me against her body.
I made some complimentary remark about it, I remember. Her only answer was to pat my bottom in a caressing manner and kiss me. Perhaps it was what I said about the picture, or it might have been that she took me for granted, but whatever the reason, the lady asked, "Do you know why I have invited you here, darling?"
When I answered in the negative, she said: "Seeing you in that naughty little costume caused me to think that I would love to have you for a whole night. You would like to stay and sleep with me, wouldn't you, dear?"
I made some silly excuse about having to be home--which wasn't true--and she promptly sent a messenger with a note telling my maid that I was staying with her that night.
It was obvious she was in the habit of having her own way. However, I made another attempt to get out of it. I had no idea of what was in store for me, and though I hadn't the slightest objection to spending the whole night with her in her bed, I didn't want to get caught there and have her stage a party like the one she had had the previous night. I hadn't the slightest desire to be ravished by a man I didn't know.
I said, "But aren't you afraid I'll disturb you by remaining here with you all night?"
"Nonsense," she cried, kissing me again and again. "Besides, I'm going to enjoy holding you in my arms and kissing you all night."
I was no longer in doubt as to the part I was to play that night, and this time when our lips met I gave her the tip of my tongue, a little act she accepted as answer enough.
Stepping to a tasseled cord, she summoned a maid.
"Prepare my bath," she said to this domestic. "We will be bathing together. Place wine and eatables on the table; then you may go."
All very commonplace, I thought.
"Come," she said when the maid withdrew. "Let us remove our clothes. There is no need for us to be uncomfortable; besides, I seldom wear anything when in my own rooms. Come!"
That this woman knew what she was doing was proven a moment later.
Leading me into a dressing room, she went about the business of undressing as though she were alone, and I, having long since gotten over the idea that it was prudish to go about naked, quickly followed suit.
I couldn't help but wonder what Vera would have said had she seen me walking about those rooms in complete nakedness, and I couldn't help but wonder what she would have thought could she have seen us a few moments later reclining in that wonderful sunken bath!
The sight of this splendid woman electrified me. I thought, too, that she was even more beautiful than Vera, but I've often wondered if that thought wasn't prompted by having her naked and so close.
Lying there in the bath, she became quite amorous, and I, having been without a companion so long, returned her caresses in a manner that must have been quite convincing, for she said, "Come, let us get out and dry! I am dying to kiss your lovely body, but I can't very well put my head under water!" And as though that wasn't enough, she slipped one hand into my crotch and toyed with my cunt for a moment adding, "It's beautiful, darling! I don't think I'll be able to wait till we get on the bed!"
But she did wait. In the outer room, we found the maid arranging the table with good things to eat, but even the presence of this girl didn't deter her. Filling two glasses, she handed me one. Then standing facing me, she said, "A toast to your darling little cunt, dear; may it never be without a companion, be it tongue or cock."
Somehow I managed to say something appropriate about the golden hair that surrounded her cunt, and then we seated ourselves, though we didn't sit with our arms about each other as Vera and I had done often at home. The food was delicious and I did full justice to it. I also indulged in a considerable amount of wine and champagne, and long before we left the table, I was more than willing to begin the oral festivities.
Suddenly she sprang to the piano. "Sing for me," she suggested, seating herself and running her fingers over the keys. Perhaps it was the wine; I don't know. Maybe it was due to the unusual condition I was in, but whatever the cause, I sang that night as I had never sung before, and when I finished, she raised from the stool and took me in her arms.
"What a silly girl," she cried, kissing me. "How utterly foolish it is for you to remain with our little company when you should be making a name for yourself in the famous cities of Europe!"
I couldn't believe that this woman would take such an interest in me, but I was quite mistaken, as you shall see.
"Come," she said, leading me toward one of the bedrooms. "We are but wasting time. Besides, the night is short enough as it is!"
On the bed, she fitted her body comfortably next to mine. "Where do you receive your lovers?" she asked, leaning over me and gazing into my eyes. When I told her that I had never had a lover, she could hardly believe it.
"Lie here on the edge of the bed so I can see for myself if you have ever had a lover!"
Helpless in her hands, my head filled with the fumes of the wine and champagne, and eager to surrender myself to her in any manner she liked, I did her bidding.