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Category: Dark Fantasy
Description: Once upon a time Mother Goose died, and things have never been the same. She helped raise children for more than 300 years, her stories, along with myths and legends, teaching each generation morals and life lessons. But something happened over the centuries. Mother Goose died. Now the tales have been retold in different ways, twisted in on themselves, or added to with completely new stories. "Mother Goose is Dead:......." delivers those tales, showing how they may not have been quite the way they seemed when readers were children, how they could have turned out differently, or even what came next after the "happily ever after." Laugh along as you read about how some of those fairy tale characters run scams on unsuspecting humans, Detective Prince Charming figures out what really happened in the Case of Hansel and Gretel, or how the Grim Reaper has updated with the times. The tales grow darker and the stakes higher as old familiar stories are stretched, skewed, and twisted to the point of breaking. Find out that Peter the Pumpkin Eater raised more than just vegetables, the feud between wolves and pigs runs deeper than anyone knows, Alice's fall down the rabbit hole was not all it appeared, and good help is hard to find - even for the Tooth Fairy. See what happened after Snow White married the Prince, the price a man pays for speaking his mind, the consequences for stealing a person's life, and if the Wicked Witch of the West is really dead. Discover what could have happened if the Prince never awakened Sleeping Beauty, how modern day elves help people, where children's fears of the dark really come from, how far a man will let his greed take him, how fairies face their own Apocalypse, and how two women remain themselves and don't become what society thinks they should be. Finally, see how new tales show a sultan's son discovering purpose in his life, a man earns a second chance, a woman finds her own worth within herself, vengeance is dealt by the wronged and how the future of the world was saved long ago. Yes, Mother Goose may be dead, but the stories live on.
eBook Publisher: Eternal Press/Damnation Books LLC/Damnation Books, 2011 2011
eBookwise Release Date: September 2011

2 Reader Ratings:

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Available eBook Formats: OEBFF Format (IMP) [543 KB]
Words: 116322
Reading time: 332-465 min.

O brave new world, that has such creatures in it.

Gotta hand it to Shakespeare; he sure has a way of putting things that endure. You wouldn't believe how many Mundanes have said just that about Faerie--and how many Faerie say it about you Mundanes.

It is a new world. Ever since the Gap opened between my dimension, Faerie (spare me the jokes) and yours, Mundane (now you can snicker), there have been changes great and small to both our universes. So many, in fact, that historians want to synchronize both calendars to the date of the opening and call it AG. (You can imagine the Faerie Catholic Church isn't too thrilled by that idea.)

I'm not here to talk about the big changes. It's been done--from Rimspotter's Compleate Hystories of the Post-Gap Worlds to Idiot's Guide to Faerie. I'm certainly not here to marvel at the creatures in it. When you're a dragon, you're the one who gets the awe, not the other way around.

I'm here to help you protect yourself.

Who am I? Vern of DragonEye, PI. Yep, a for-real dragon. "Wisdom of the Ages. Experience of Eternity. Treasures Found. Virginity Confirmed..." My ad used to say "Hired Muscle;" but my partner, the mage Sister Grace of the Faerie Catholic Church, didn't like that. It didn't work well, anyway--I may be 800 pounds of muscle, wings and scale--and don't forget teeth--but any Faerie will tell you I'm an undersized runt compared to my fellow drakes.

I used to be large as a house--well, trailer in your Mundane world; you build big--but that was before our Saint George captured me in a holy spell. He took everything from me: my size, my magic, my fire-breathing ability, even my fangs! By the time he'd finished, I wasn't much more than an intelligent and good-looking Gila-monster. Then he laid a geas on me, a real doozy: if I wanted to return to my former grandeur, I'd serve God and His creatures under the authority of the Church. I've been a faithful servant ever since. I've gotten back about a quarter of my size, a functional but (to my mind) miniscule amount of my knowledge, my flight and my fire. Damsels and Knights, how I missed my fire!

Actually, I don't mind my fate overmuch. Faerie dragons live forever, which is why George didn't even try to kill me, so we value novelty. Much as I resent the loss of myself, I've certainly had some interesting assignments the last eight centuries. I've traveled the Faerie World and seen some of the Mundane, fought--and defeated, boo-yah!--demigods and demons, and made some very interesting friends in species I'd have never even met if I'd stayed my glorious dragony self in my territory of Caraparavelenciana. Now, here I am, in a whole new dimension, eeking out a living as a private detective with a rusting warehouse for a lair and leftover e-bay rejects for treasure. Okay. That part's not so good.

God bless Saint George--magically overpowered pain-in-the-tail.

Enough on me. Read more on my website if you're really interested.

It's my current job to help out Mundanes and Faerie when the crossroad between magic and tech leads to trouble. It hasn't been easy. How can such a naturally suspicious people believe that if you catch a leprechaun, he'll give you gold and not some debilitating disease?

So, why am I trying to work myself out of a job? Frankly, I'm hoping to spare myself some agony. Have you any idea how annoying it is to listen to some Mundane princess-wanna-be who gave a Faerie strongarm five thousand dollars so he could hire mercenaries to win the kingdom back while she babysat the Frog Prince? What's worse is when "Princess" wants to hire my mage partner, Sister Grace, to break the Princey's spell. I'm embarrassed for my entire universe.

So, let's spare me the headaches and you the heartaches and get down to Faerie Truth Behind the Fairy Tales.