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by John Simpson
Category: Erotica/Gay-Lesbian Erotica/Romance
Description: Enter the world of men who wear badges and uniforms, everyday heroes who go home every night and dream the same dreams as every other man. They yearn for someone to love, someone to share their beds, a lover, or maybe even a partner for life. Follow these men in a collection of stories about what can happen when sparks fly between perfect strangers and old friends. Fraternization has never been so hot.
eBook Publisher: Dreamspinner Press/Dreamspinner Press, 2011 2011
eBookwise Release Date: July 2011
3 Reader Ratings:
Available eBook Formats: OEBFF Format (IMP) [285 KB]
Reading time: 194-272 min.
The Last Place
When Dale got up and looked out the window, he was not pleased by what greeted him. There had to be at least a foot of snow on the ground, and he was due at work in just over an hour. He walked down the three steps that separated the bedroom and bathroom area from the kitchen and living room and hit the button to turn the coffee pot on. A sudden chill hit him as the first hint of dripping coffee was heard, and Dale ran back up the steps and into the bathroom.
It still felt strange to wake up and be alone in the house, even though it had been well over six months since his divorce was finalized and his ex-wife, Julie, moved out and down to Florida with her parents. As he stepped into the hot, streaming water, his body began to relax from the chill in the kitchen, and he quickly finished his ablutions. He wrapped a towel around himself and carefully shaved and brushed his teeth. When he turned to leave, he was facing the full-length mirror on the back of the door. It hadn't steamed up totally, and Dale couldn't resist his ritual body inspection.
He dropped the towel to the floor and gave his body a critical review, looking for the slightest imperfection anywhere. The two areas of his body that pleased him the most were his well-defined chest and his penis. Chests and penises were so important to the self-image of a man that he had always worked hard to maintain his pecs. As for his penis, he was just grateful that he had been born with the right genes and that Mother Nature had taken care of the rest.
Next, he looked for any wrinkles on his face and was pleased when he still couldn't find any. The stress of a broken marriage that should have never taken place had failed to put any lines on his face. His legs were in decent shape, and his stomach was flat, even though he didn't possess the typical washboard abs that so many men strived for and often failed to acquire. He turned around and looked over his shoulder at his ass and was pleased with the two firm mounds of flesh that filled out his jeans so beautifully. Even though he was only twenty-eight, he had seen so many men let themselves go and turn to walking mush once they got married.
Pleased, he put his towel back on and headed into the bedroom, where he began dressing for work. Hearing the last of the coffee falling into the pot made him move more quickly. He clicked the morning news on in the bedroom so that he could catch the weather forecast as he dressed. When the weatherman announced that it was only seventeen degrees out and expected to get colder during the afternoon, Dale took off the Calvin Klein boxer briefs he had just put on and put on a pair of long underwear instead. Next came the winter shirt and pants and heavy socks.
His work boots were kept in the front hall closet near the door where he took them off every day so as to not scuff up the floor. When he re-entered the kitchen, he was greeted by the aroma of freshly brewed Kona coffee that a friend of his had sent from Hawaii. He poured the coffee, got some OJ from the refrigerator, and sat down at the table to enjoy both.
He liked to skip eating anything for breakfast but stopped for lunch if circumstances permitted. As he sat there, his mind drifted back to his recent divorce, and once again he felt very grateful that they had not had any children. Children would have made the divorce a thousand times more difficult, and it had been hard enough as it was. The reason cited in the divorce papers was profound incompatibility. After the second year of marriage, Dale had lost all sexual interest in his wife, even though he loved her as much as he had on his wedding day.
He had even gone to doctors in an attempt to find out if a physical condition was preventing him from enjoying a love life with his wife. All the tests came back normal, and that left only mental reasons. Julie assumed incorrectly that Dale had fallen out of love with her and that he was seeing another woman.
While it was true that many a lady wanted to bag Dale, none succeeded. Dale had vowed he would never cheat on his wife, and he hadn't. Constant fighting and baseless accusations drove Dale to seek a divorce, and when Julie moved out, peace, which was so important to Dale when he wasn't at work, returned to his home.
Dale realized with a jolt that he had drifted off into deep thought and quickly checked his watch. It was time to go, and he drained the coffee cup, filled up a thermos, and headed out the door. He still had to clean off the car before he could leave the driveway.
Once the car was ready to go, he started the engine, and as procedure dictated, he got on the radio.
"Dispatch, this is car two-twenty-one, going ten-eight from home headed into my office."
The first of the day-shift patrol officers of the Bedford Vermont Police Department were now in service and headed into police headquarters. The roads were as bad as he expected, and it took a little longer to get in than it normally would, but finally he eased into a parking spot and headed into the office.
"Well, good morning, sunshine!" called out his shift sergeant.
"Morning. Lovely weather... for polar bears."
"That it is, my friend, that it is. We've only got four cars on the road today, and backup from neighboring jurisdictions is going to be a problem because of the roads. So if the shit hits the fan, it's just us, amigo."
"Well, we've never had a problem yet that we couldn't handle ourselves," Dale replied.
"Oh, now you went and did it. Now we'll have a triple bank robbery or some shit. If it happens, everyone be sure to thank Officer Macho here!"
The officers from the night shift who were going off duty and the day shift who were coming on duty booed Dale, who just laughed and went into the locker room to grab his paperwork for the shift. From there, he went into a small room that was used for roll call and sat down among the other cops still grinning at him.
Sergeant Drummond came in and began his shift talk. "Okay, you all just drove in here, and you know how bad the roads are, so be careful out there. The last thing I wanna have to do today is write up the paperwork on a crashed cruiser. I'm sure we can expect accident calls, and remember that you are in danger out there when at the scene of a crash in this weather. Cars can't stop quickly; they'll be sliding, and if they aren't paying attention, drivers will realize too late that there's a wreck. If you're out walking around, you could get injured or killed. Get the cars off the roadway. Get the information you need. Issue any citations that should be issued and clear the scene as quickly as possible.
"Last night before it began to snow, night shift had a burglary in the Plankton area, so be on the lookout today for anyone that doesn't belong in that area. We didn't get much from the scene, so unless we get a break on this one, it'll probably go unsolved. Any questions? 'Cause that's all I got."
Sam Dunfeld spoke up. "Just one, Sarge: if this shit ices over, can we either return to station or park it somewhere? I don't relish driving on ice."
"We need to try the best we can to have at least one car mobile as long as the banks are open. If we have to, we'll call in two cars and double up the remaining cars."
"Maybe we should do that from the start, Sarge, rather than having to come all the way back to here to park two and go back out," Dale suggested.
"I don't know; you guys think that would be better?"
After agreement from everyone, the four cars were reduced to two two-man units. Dale grabbed his coffee and headed out to the cruiser area.
"You want me to drive?" asked an officer named Rob.
"Hell no! I've seen you drive when it's sunny and eighty degrees out; I'm not riding with you in this weather. You park your young ass in my cruiser," Dale said as he laughed.
"Okay, gramps," Rob responded.
Dale shot Rob a "go fuck yourself" look and managed to open the car after trying a couple of times to get the key in the frozen slot.
Once they got settled into the cruiser, Dale set out on a modified patrol route that took the pair near the businesses that were open and away from the more hilly residential areas.
"So, where do you get off calling me gramps? I'm not that much older than you. Just how old are you, anyway?"
"I'm a nice young twenty-four, which makes you older than me," Rob responded with a smile.
"Yeah, well, I'm not worried about a mere four years, dude. Besides, that also means I've got more seniority on the job than you do, rookie."
Rob laughed as the radio came alive. "Car two-two-one, three-car accident at Fifth and Hauser, no injuries."
Rob acknowledged the call.
"Well, if there are no injuries, I'm not busting my ass to get there in this shit," commented Dale.
"It looks like it might be coming down harder now. You don't think we'll get held over because no one can get in, do you?" Rob asked.
"Bite your tongue. The very last thing I wanna do is have to work a double or triple shift."
After another five minutes, they pulled up at the accident and both officers got out of their cruiser. It was the typical--one car had stopped at a traffic light, and the next two cars behind it couldn't stop, causing a three-car pileup.
"Check with the second- and third-car occupants, make sure no injuries are on board, and get all their information," Dale said.
Dale went up to the first car and got the story of what happened, which they already knew just from looking at the accident scene. Rob wrote down all the information for the drivers, gave each one the information, and instructed them to call their insurance companies and let them work it out.
Rob stopped traffic until they got the three accident vehicles free of each other and out of the way as the plows came into the area. Rob and Dale got back in the cruiser and decided to try to find a place to sit for a bit. They backed into the entranceway of one of the local banks that was closed and sat there. Dale wanted to be out of the way of the drivers who wished to risk their lives by driving like idiots.
"So, I heard you got divorced about five or six months ago. Bet that was tough, huh?"
"Well, it sure wasn't a picnic," Dale answered. "I hope you'll never have to go through it. It leaves a hole in ya, and I think it's gonna take a while to fill it."
"Sorry that it happened to you. Being a cop is a stressful occupation on a marriage."
"You married?" Dale asked.
"Nah. Haven't met one yet that really rang all my bells, so to speak. I'm young, so I've got a lot of time, and I don't wanna make any mistakes. Oh, not saying that you made a mistake, just saying if I act too quick, it will probably be a mistake for me."
"No offense, I think you're being smart. Sow your wild oats first, and then settle down when you're ready."
"Yeah, well for right now, I'd just like to get through the day. I'm obviously gonna miss my workout at the gym today--and probably tomorrow--due to this shit," he said as he looked out the passenger window.
"You work out every day? That's a bit much, no?"
"Not at all. I've got a good build, and I wanna keep it. Once you have it and lose it, it's even harder to get that discipline back to get the body back in shape."
"Hard to tell in the uniform with the vest on. It hides the shape."
"Yeah, out here we all look the same," Rob said and laughed.
The rest of the shift dragged on with periodic attempts to make at least one pass by the few businesses that were still open but in the process of closing up for the duration. Near-blizzard conditions had blown into the area, and an hour before the end of the shift, they received a radio call from the sergeant.
"Dale, you and Rob are going to have to stay on duty probably until morning. The area is locked down tight and the roads are impassable. I know it sucks, but we're all stuck until this weather lifts and the plows can open at least the main artery. The town has made sure to keep the station plowed. Any urgent reasons you two can't remain?"
"Fuck!" Rob said.
When Dale was sure Rob wasn't going to curse again, he keyed the microphone. "We got it covered, Sarge, but I gotta tell you, not sure what good it will do for us to come into the station. If we get in, we won't get back out to answer any calls. You got any suggestions? We can't just sit in the car for twenty-four hours. We'll run out of fuel."
"What's your present location?"
"We're just outside the mall at the moment, slipping and sliding."
"Okay, right near your location is a motel. You guys get a room there--one room, not two--park the cruiser, get warm, eat if they got food, and I'll have dispatch call you guys in the room if you're needed. Sound good?"
"Who pays for the room?"
"You'll get reimbursed for it, no problem."
"Okay, we're good with it. Headed to the Fox Motel now."
"Well, at least we can get out of these uniforms before they start to go south on us. Should we try and wash our shirts in the sink or something?" Rob asked.
"And what are you going to do if we get called out and your shirt is wet? You'll be a sheet of ice within ten minutes. No, we'll just hang 'em up."
They slid into a parking spot at the motel, and Dale went in and got a room. He told the desk to put through any calls for car two-twenty-one or for either of them by name.
"You got any food around here?" Dale asked.
"The best I can do for you guys is coffee and pizza. We've got frozen pizzas in the freezer, and I can throw a couple in the oven for you and brew some coffee. You all can either eat here in the lobby or take it back to your room."
"Thanks, we really appreciate that, Sid. Say about a half hour?"
"Better make it forty-five minutes."
"Okay, see you then," Dale said as he went out to the car. He moved it over to directly in front of their room, popped their portable radios out of the car charger, gathered paperwork, and headed into the room. Dale fumbled around for the light switch, and when he found it, both men were a little unnerved when they got a look at the room. There was only one bed.
"Well, this is interesting. I'll check to see if he has a room with two beds," Dale said as he picked up the phone.
"Hey, Sid, Dale here. You got a room with two beds, by chance?"
"Sure don't, Dale. The vacant rooms all have one queen-size bed. We got really filled up today because of the weather."
"Okay, thanks anyway; see you shortly."
"What? We're stuck with this?" Rob asked.
"Yep, looks that way. Motel is filled up for the same reason we're here. We'll just have to make do."
They put their belongings down and looked in the bathroom, which was as clean as the bed area. Rob flicked the TV on and found the weather. The news program was predicting another seven to ten inches of snow before morning with a temperature of seven degrees.
"Holy shit, it's gonna be cold out there tonight," Rob said.
Before Dale could answer him, the phone rang.
"Dale, it's your cold and hungry sergeant here. You guys settled in?"
"Yeah, kinda, Sarge. We got a room with one bed in it, but we'll make do, I guess. Sid at the front desk is cooking pizza and coffee for us, and there's plenty of ice!"
When Drummond stopped laughing at the last part of Dale's remark, he said, "We've got the other two guys at the Marchwell Motel. They've only got one bed too, and they're real unhappy about that, but they'll live. I'm going to anchor us at the station. If county dispatch goes out due to the weather, I can take calls here and dispatch from the station if necessary. I just pulled out the old army cot from storage and will bed down in the office here. If anything comes up, just call me on the phone; save your battery for the road. County road maintenance is coming by, and they'll be putting chains on your cruiser. Hopefully that will enable you to get around easier."
"Okay, Sarge, sleep well."
Dale passed on what the sergeant had said, and he and Rob left their room to go eat. When they entered the lobby, they found a lot of people waiting on pizza, which was enough to make them decide to take theirs back to the room and eat. They grabbed the pizza and the coffee and headed back to their room, bracing against the strong wind that was now whipping the snow up into a blinding wall of wet, cold white.
When they finished their meager dinner, they both felt a little better for having something in their stomachs. There was also a coffee pot in the room and enough supplies to make two pots in the morning. Dale was sure he could get more supplies from Sid if he asked.
They both removed their uniforms and hung them up to try and keep them as wrinkle free as possible. That left both men in their underwear--Dale in his long johns and Rob in a surprisingly sexy tight little pair of briefs that made Dale look twice.
They lay on the bed and watched what television they could get and then began to feel tired. They decided to try and sleep, and they turned off the TV and lights and crawled under the sheets. It was a tight fit, as both men were fairly large and well built. As they lay there in the dark thinking, Dale felt the heat coming from Rob's body and worried that during their sleep, he might snuggle into his temporary partner.
"Look, if I turn over in the night and put my arm over you or something, just wake me up and I'll move it. Okay?"
"Count on that, dude. Likewise here if I get too close to you. I haven't slept with another guy since Boy Scouts," Rob said as he laughed.
"Well, don't worry; I think I'll be able to control myself being in bed with you. 'Course, after seeing that sexy underwear you have on, I might not be able to," he said as he smiled.
"You like these, huh? Yeah, my old girlfriend really liked these too. She said it was hard to look at them and not think about sex. Ah, you think I look good in them?" Rob asked.
Dale thought before answering. "Let's just say I wasn't expecting you to have that kind of taste in underwear. You strike me as the boxer or plain ole tighty-whitey underwear type. The stuff you're wearing is for high-school- and college-aged guys."
"Well, as we've already discussed, I am college-aged."
"Okay, you got me there. Look, I don't know how to say this, but I'm damn hot in these long johns, and I don't have anything else with me, of course. You okay with me going commando tonight?"
"You mean sleep nude... next to me?" Rob asked in mock shock.
"Yeah, that's what it means. I'll suffer if you object, but I'd rather take them off."
"Sure, go ahead. Just don't be poking me with anything."
Dale got out of bed, pulled off his long johns, and draped them over a chair to air out before climbing back in bed without anything on. Just as he got settled in, Rob spoke up.
"Well, in that case, I'll do the same. Commando is how I usually sleep."
Dale heard the shorts come off of Rob and saw them fly through the air to land on a lamp across the room.
"Ahh, that feels so much better. Now my junk can breathe. How you doing?" Rob asked.
"Much more comfortable, thanks. Maybe we should try and sleep now, huh?"
"Okay, goodnight, and let's pray the phone don't ring."
After a few minutes, they both fell asleep, tired after the long shift. They stayed that way until Dale turned over in his sleep and snuggled up to Rob's back. They were now unintentionally "spooning" with Dale's dick mashed up against Rob's ass and his left arm thrown over Rob's chest.
When Rob felt the unusual sensation of a fleshy hardness poking him in the ass and then realized Dale had an arm over him too, he didn't know what to do. He decided to relax and see if he could just ignore it and go back to sleep. However, once Dale became fully erect, it was impossible for Rob to ignore the hard-on that was trying to split his ass cheeks, and he turned flat on the bed, surprised that he had also become erect.
Rather than being repulsed by the bodily contact between him and the slightly older senior officer, Rob found that he was curious as to what it would be like to have sex with Dale. This only made his hard-on harder. He turned so that he was facing Dale and their erections were touching.
Dale had now woken up and assessed the situation that was unfolding in the bed. He realized that both of them were unintentionally aroused, but Dale knew deep inside that this was the reason his marriage had not worked. Sexually, he really wanted to be with a male, and a possible chance to validate that conclusion was presenting itself.
Trying to figure out the next move, Dale was relieved when the younger man took the lead and absolved him of figuring that out. Rob moved his hand down and stroked his dick and Dale's at the same time by running his fingers down his shaft and continuing onto Dale's until their dicks lay head to head.
When Rob realized that Dale's breathing had changed, he knew that Dale was awake and that since he hadn't taken any steps to stop what was happening, they both wanted it. Rob decided to take the plunge and blame it on being asleep if it blew up on him.
He reached over and fondled Dale's large balls, then grabbed onto his cock and began to jerk him slowly. When that happened, Dale figured that there was no sense in continuing the farce of being asleep.
"That feels real good, Rob."
Rob froze and then continued what he was doing. "You woke me up with your dick sticking me between my ass cheeks, so I figured since I was hard, I might as well see if this was something you wanted."
"Well, as unplanned as this was, I welcome the chance to explore some questions I've always had about myself."
"Same here. I've always wondered if I'm bisexual or maybe gay. Guess we might as well both find out tonight, huh?"
"Yeah, but this remains between us, okay?"
"For sure, dude. You've got a nice cock on you, by the way," Rob said.
"Thanks, you do too, as I saw earlier when you were in just your sexy underwear."
"You like those, huh?"
"Yeah, very much. They made me look at your package twice."
"What do you wanna do, just jack each other off?" Rob asked.
"No. I wanna go down on you, if that's okay," Dale replied.
"Fuck yeah, it's all right. I never turn down a blow job, dude. Well, from a woman, that is. You'll be my first man."
Dale got out of bed, went into the bathroom and got a wet washcloth, and came back to bed. He wiped Rob's cock and balls off and then his own. He got back into bed and put his hand on Rob's package and began feeling around. Rob reacted by springing back to a full state of arousal. Dale then moved to climb on top of Rob and inched down until he was able to bend over and take Rob into his mouth.
As he explored the world of another guy's dick, he ran his tongue over the head, sending a shock through Rob's body. He licked the shaft and then the balls. When he came back up, he took Rob into his mouth and began to go down on him. Rob was having trouble resisting grabbing Dale by the head and shoving him down on his cock.
As Dale inched down on Rob, he moved his tongue around, trying to remember what he liked best about getting a blow job and then trying to duplicate that for Rob's pleasure. When he felt the shaft hit the back of his throat, he froze up and quickly backed off. He went back down, trying not to react that way again.
"Watch your teeth, bud!" Rob warned.
"Sorry," Dale responded and went back down on Rob. He was initially worried about taste, but Rob's dick didn't really have a taste. This fact alone enabled Dale to begin to bob up and down on Rob's dick, which finally caused Rob to begin to moan in appreciation. When Dale heard that, he really began to get into it, liking the fact that he was able to bring pleasure to another man with his mouth.
He fondled Rob's balls as he sucked, and Rob began to moan louder. Finally, Rob pulled Dale off of his dick and pulled him back up to the pillows.
"Was that okay?"
"Yeah, man, that was good near the end there. I was already building to pop, but I think it's my turn to become a pole smoker," he said with a giggle.
Rob went at it with a lot more confidence than Dale had done. Rob grabbed Dale's cock and licked the head and then went right down on it, trying to take all of Dale. He succeeded but ended up choking. He quickly recovered and began to suck almost all of Dale's cock and with much gusto before he pulled off and went to Dale's balls. There he licked each ball completely, sucking them in one at a time and then both together.
He then got down between Dale's legs so that his head was right above Dale's cock and slipped an arm under each ass cheek so that he lifted Dale's ass off the bed slightly.
"Fuck, dude, you're good at this. Did you say this was your first time with a guy?"
"Yep. I'm just doing to you what I've seen in porn movies when it's two guys. You like?"
"Ahh, yeah, I like. Suck me, guy."
Rob didn't need another command to do that; he fell back down onto Dale's dick and sucked for all he was worth. As he sucked, he squeezed and released Dale's ass cheeks repeatedly. Rob used a lot of saliva, and Dale realized he was getting a premier blow job and that it felt so right that it was a guy giving it to him. When he began to build to a climax, he warned Rob.
"Dude, I'm gonna cum if you don't ease up."
It was like Rob never heard the warning as he sped up his sucking and took all but two inches every time he went down all the way.
"Rob, I'm about to cum, dude!"
Rob sucked even harder, and Dale arched his back off the bed, slamming his head into the headboard as he began to shoot his load into Rob's mouth. Dale felt shot after shot leave his dick and fly into Rob's mouth until he lowered himself back onto the bed, signaling that his climax was ebbing.
When Dale's dick gave him the feeling that his shaft was empty now, he said, "Quick, Rob, go spit it out in the bathroom!"
"Spit what out?"
"My cum! Where is it? Not on the sheets, is it? We'll never be able to explain that to the motel."
"I swallowed. And might I say that for a first time, it didn't taste that bad, although it's very salty."
"You swallowed? You're shitting me!"
"Nope. I figured if I'm gonna blow a dude, I might as well give him what I like to get, which is my load swallowed. I take it you liked it?"
"Hell yeah, I liked it. In fact, it might have been the best blow job I've ever had," Dale replied.
"My turn," Rob said as he bounced back up to the pillows.
Dale slid down and lifted the still-swollen cock of his bedmate, determined to give as good as he had got. As Dale went to work on his new friend, he realized that he liked sucking dick and that he was more than likely bi, if not gay. He tried to duplicate the blow job he had just received and was rewarded by moans and groans from Rob as Rob encouraged him to suck it that way or this way. After almost ten minutes of sucking, Rob began to tense up, and Dale felt it in Rob's legs. Dale had already decided that he too would attempt to swallow Rob's deposit.
"Okay, I'm about to cum, guy. If you're going to get off, do it now!" Rob whispered.
Dale sucked even faster and felt the hot streams of cum hit the back of his throat, some trickling down as the rest accumulated in his mouth. In order to be able to continue to suck Rob to the very end, Dale had to empty his mouth, and so he swallowed. He then continued to suck as Rob began to relax and his dick began to go soft. He finally let it plop out of his mouth and ran the back of his hand over his mouth to wipe away anything that had dribbled out.
As Rob had mentioned, Dale tasted a heavy salt taste, and he had to get up and rinse his mouth out. Returning to bed, he bent down and kissed Rob on the chest before he fell back into bed.
"That was fucking incredible, both ways," Dale said.
"I have to admit, you gave me one outstanding head job," Rob said. "Not only did I enjoy getting off, but I really liked the fact that I got you off. You are a fucking stud, Dale."
"Likewise. Your body is rather cut and beautiful. Your work at the gym is obvious, dude. You realize that we ate each other's load? That really makes us more than a little gay. You okay with that?"
"It's like someone rang a gong somewhere, and I was born in some respects tonight. While I enjoy women, I also enjoy a man's body. I like everything that we did. I liked you on my dick, and I liked being on your dick. Any chance we can repeat under much better circumstances?" Rob asked.
"For sure. I enjoyed this one sexual encounter more than all of the times with my ex put together. I've got to face it: I'm more than just bi. I'm gay."
"Yeah, that's my conclusion too. You are just too good at this not to be gay. Look what else we have to explore."
"Huh? Oh, you mean ass-fucking?" Dale asked.
"Yeah. You like my ass, right?"
"Ah, yeah. What's not to like? It's chiseled like the rest of you. But I think that's something we should save for a night when we can go out to dinner, a bar, and then back to my house."
"That sounds nice. Are you willing to take as well as give?" Rob asked.
"Whew. Neither one of us has a giant dick, which if we did would scare the hell out of me, but you're still not small. We need to Google ass-fucking and see what we need to expect and what to do, okay?"
"Yeah. But I do want to fuck you now after this. We are each other's first, and I feel that we should be firsts for the ass as well. I'm willing to give it up to you," Rob said.
"Okay. Consider it a date, once the world outside returns to normal. Damn, the job is the last place I would have thought that I'd find a bed partner."