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Category: Humor
Description: If you love wordplay and/or humor you'll feel right at home. The author was honored as the Punster of the Year for 2005 by the International Save the Pun Foundation, and she proves her mettle as she "mettles" with words, as well as with historical, hysterical, and geogiraffical facts. This com-pun-dium of miss-inflammation will tickle your funnybone and arouse your risibilities. Be sure your medical insurance is up to date before reading this: You may break a rib or two laughing.
eBook Publisher: SynergEbooks, 2011 SynergEbooks
eBookwise Release Date: May 2011

Available eBook Formats: OEBFF Format (IMP) [126 KB]
Words: 26070
Reading time: 74-104 min.

"Hilarious. Cynthia MacGregor has the unique ability to make one one-liner after the next naturally lead into another one-liner, resulting in the inability to stop laughing. You'll rupture your diaphragm from the spasms, and if you try to read it after surgery, will break all your stitches. Warning: Never try to read more than one chapter at a time."

~ Stan Kegel, Publisher, Puns of the Day

The book of Psalms is famous for having a silent "P," which many people today in public restrooms also try to achieve.

Although the Bible is not a funny book, it is full of references to paradise, the singular of which is "pairody," so several people in the Bible apparently had a sense of humor. And paradise, of course, is what you shoot craps with. To judge from the frequent Biblical references, a lot of those characters must have been dice-players. Moses got so upset over all the gambling that he got a headache. God said, "Take these two tablets and call me in the morning." Elijah rode to the games in a cherry yacht, which is a virgin vehicle. What it was vergin' on was not disclosed in the Good Book.

You know too that many of the guys in the Bible were gamblers because they knew all the angles... spelled "angels" in those days.

People were always rewriting documents even in those days before Delete keys were invented. The first couple of books of the Bible had barely been written before the Ten Amendments were drafted. (What they were drafted for was the Major League Discus Team, but that's another story.)

The book of Numbers was the Earth's first phone directory.

We do know people in those days didn't make a lot of money, from the references to "minor prophets."

The New Testament has many famous characters, including the first person to fly an aircraft -- Pontius Pilot.

One of the gospel writers asks us to Mark his words. But the gospels keep eagerly pointing out what went down in those days, telling us, "Luke!" There is also much preoccupation with matters of plumbing -- witness the many references to "John."

Though there is much dispute over who actually wrote the Bible -- was it God or a bunch of his scribes, and if so, who were they? -- the mystery is solved in the last of the five books of Moses. We know now that there were two writers, one of whom was named Ronald (not McDonald!), as they submitted the bill for writing, and labeled it Due to Ron and Me.