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Category: Mystery/Crime/Humor
Description: The Beals live in a upper middle class neighborhood in the mid 1960's. Frank is a jingle writer who is having more than a little trouble coming up with a shoe polish jingle. Trying to keep up with the neighbor's expensive tastes is a full time job in itself. But when Frank butts heads with a Voodoo practicing Brazilian gardener, he gets much more than he bargains for, especially when he is distracted by all the spells flying back and forth, with a force strong enough to turn his wife into a love-starved siren and his children into well-behaved angels.
eBook Publisher: Vinspire Publishing, 2006
eBookwise Release Date: May 2011

Available eBook Formats: OEBFF Format (IMP) [174 KB]
Words: 37603
Reading time: 107-150 min.

"It has a 289 V8 engine, more than enough power to take you and that beautiful family of yours anywhere you want to go," the car salesman beamed.

"We'll take it," Joan said as she inspected the wood veneer along the side of the station wagon.

"Honey," Frank laughed uncomfortably. "We need some time to talk about this, it's a major purchase," he said to the salesman.

The salesman gave him an acquiescent nod.

Matt bounced enthusiastically behind the steering wheel making engine noises with his mouth. Frank took Joan by the elbow and guided her to the other side of the car. "Let's discuss this."

Joan frowned. "What's to discuss? It's a Ranch Custom wagon."

"So?" Frank frowned.

She smiled deliciously and squeezed her arms around his middle and pressed up against him. Emerald eyes met his hazel. "So," she said as she kissed underneath his jaw. "Joan and Rex Roberts will be green with envy."

Frank frowned. He was beginning to wonder if it wouldn't be easier to murder the Roberts instead of spending money they didn't have to make them jealous.

"That's a lot of green to slap down to create more of the color green," he replied.

"Don't you just love the smell of a new car, though?" Joan asked with a hopeful expression.

"Within two weeks it's going to smell like the old one, an odorous combination of French fries, pizza, and Matt's science projects," Frank argued.

Joan sighed. "You only go around once in life, you've got to grab all the gusto you can."

Frank scratched his head. "But why does gusto have to be so expensive?"

Joan looked at the salesman. "We'll take it," she said again.

"Great!" The salesman clapped his hands together. "Let's get the paperwork started." He motioned for them to follow him to the sales office.

"Where's Susan?" Joan's eyes scanned the showroom.

Frank ran tired fingers over his dark short-cropped hair. "My guess is she's underneath the car checking the brakes."

"Folks!" The salesman raised an arm and called from the sales office.

Frank pulled Matt from behind the steering wheel before they marched into the sales office.

"Have you seen our daughter?" Joan asked as she stepped into the office and sat down.

"I'm here, Mother," Susan said from behind. She walked up to the salesman and coolly tore the top sheet from her clipboard. "I've found a fire hazard in your coffee room." Her yellow hard hat seemed to take on an even more official gleam.

He hesitatingly took the paper and looked at her with surprise.

"Do you know it isn't safe to repair a frayed cord with black sticky tape?" She shook her head. "Either replace the cord, or buy a new percolator within two weeks, or I will have to report you to the fire department."

The salesman looked at Frank and Joan. They smiled and shrugged in unison.