2 in 1 Olympians
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by Susan M. Sailors
Category: Erotica/Erotic Fantasy/Fantasy
Description: Lesson in Love Eros hates Valentine's Day. When his loathing for the lover's holiday angers Zeus, he goes to his favorite café to cool down. Instead he ends the night even more confused because the café's enchanting and beautiful owner Iris, who turns out to be a goddess herself, berates him over his horrible treatment of women. He doesn't know his mother Aphrodite and the goddess Hera plan to use Iris to teach him what love is really all about. Arcadian Nights Hermes has been given one task by Aphrodite--keep an eye on Eris at her son's wedding. The last time the beautiful goddess of discord attended a wedding, the Trojan War was the result. Hermes doesn't think he has much to worry about until she takes offense at being watched and decides to teach him a lesson with a lust spell in the middle of the reception. Convinced she is not as cold and aloof as she pretends to be, he sets out to seduce her instead, starting them both on an erotic path of discovery that will teach them both lessons they won't soon forget.
eBook Publisher: Whiskey Creek Press, 2011
eBookwise Release Date: April 2011
1 Reader Ratings:
Available eBook Formats: OEBFF Format (IMP) [233 KB]
Reading time: 153-215 min.
Eros was bored. He'd been sitting in his favorite restaurant for three hours, watching all the people around him enjoy Valentine's Day.
He hated Valentine's Day.
In fact, he hated it so much he'd almost gotten a lightning bolt right in the ass from Zeus. He pushed his tea away and crossed his arms with a huff at the memory. He'd only pointed out to Zeus that the modern world didn't need a god or goddess of love. If his mother wanted to play games, that was fine, but mortals no longer had passionate, timeless affairs--they had one-night stands and multiple marriages. Love and sex were just words to them, so why did they deserve the help of the gods? Why did he have to spend his entire life bringing couples together?
The final straw had come when he'd pointed out that despite the fact that he was portrayed as a fat baby with wings shooting arrows at people, at least mortals still believed in him. As he'd watched his mother, Aphrodite, cover her eyes and shake her head, Zeus had clapped once and made the entire throne room of Olympus shake. Eros had fallen through an enormous hole that had suddenly appeared in the floor and landed in the middle of a cow pasture in east Devon. He'd shouted a mortal curse word at the clouds before deciding to go to London.
With a snap of his fingers, he was sitting at his favorite table in the Iris, the best restaurant he'd ever found. For a while, he'd played a little game with himself, guessing which couples would break up first, who would be the one to leave, and how it would happen. After four cups of coffee and three of tea, he was getting pretty creative.
The blonde in the corner will find out that her new boyfriend fooled around with his friend's mother in high school. And now that woman is the blonde's stepmother, because of course her first husband found out she was seducing teenage boys and divorced her.
He nodded, very satisfied with himself, until the blonde jumped up and started screaming excitedly. An enormous diamond shone on her finger, and everyone in the restaurant began applauding and raising their glasses.
Eros kicked the table in front of him. He ignored everything around him until he realized that a woman who was not his waitress was standing at his table with her arms crossed, staring daggers at him.
"You have a problem with your table, sir?" she asked.
The woman looked about thirty, and she had dark purple hair. Her eyes were like crystals, reflecting every color in the spectrum, and Eros couldn't take his eyes away even as her sharp gaze practically bore a hole in his head.
"No. Sorry. I just don't like Valentine's Day," he said.
She raised her eyebrows, but then she rolled her eyes. "Then why did you even leave the house today?"
He shrugged. "Just felt like it. This is my favorite place."
"I know, but you're usually here for a different purpose."
He stared at the woman. What was she talking about? She couldn't know anything about him. "What do you mean?"
She looked at him patiently, as if he were a child who had said something petulant. "I know who you are, but of course you have no idea who I am. Typical."
He took a guess, as she wasn't wearing a name tag. "I suppose you're Iris, since I've never seen you before but you seem to know who I am. I'm sorry for kicking the table, but I don't think anyone noticed. I didn't mean to cause trouble. This really is my favorite restaurant." He stood and took some money out of his pocket. "Really. I'm sorry. I'll leave."
She looked at the money for a moment, and then took it. "Come in and sit down for a little while. I'll make you a drink at the bar. All that coffee and tea will have you bouncing down the street otherwise."
Iris went inside and Eros followed, not feeling he had much of a choice. He didn't really know why he was obeying a mortal, but he didn't want to offend the owner of his favorite place. As he followed her back past the kitchen, he noticed that her eyes were not her only striking feature. Her hips swayed seductively, her ass curved just right, and her long legs seemed to go on forever. When she turned and opened a door, he also saw that her breasts were full and round, with a lovely jiggle that showed they were real. She gestured for him to sit down in her office.
He wondered what possibilities a drink or two might present as he watched her walk to the bar. She made them each a rum and Coke. He knew any mortal woman would melt in his arms the moment he wanted her to, but this one might be fun to pursue.
When she returned with his drink, he accepted it and proposed a toast. "To the lovely owner of the best restaurant in the world."
She clinked her glass against his. "Now tell me why you hate Valentine's Day. Seems rather inconvenient."
He took a sip of his drink. "What do you mean?" Something about Iris disconcerted him, and it wasn't just her hot body.
"Shouldn't the god of love, well, love Valentine's Day?"
Eros turned and slammed his hand against the door, and then locked it. "Excuse me? Who the hell are you?"
"My name is Iris. You know that already." She seemed to enjoy the jolt she'd given him.
Eros stared at her. Why had he done that? He could wipe her memory if he wanted to. He never lost his cool, especially not with women, so why was this one different?
"Think about it," she prompted. "Haven't you heard the name Iris before?"
As he stared into her eyes, he remembered something. He'd met her before, but her hair had been emerald green and she'd had golden wings. He felt his face flush. Zeus had thrown a costume party last All Hallow's Eve, and Eros had hit on her, telling her that if she wanted to fly she should come home with him. Or something silly like that. She'd told him he wasn't the only god with wings and then left with Poseidon.
"Didn't even know my name, did you? You thought I was some random mortal there for the pleasure of the gods."
After a moment, he admitted, "You're right. I didn't know you were a goddess."
"Well, I am. I'm the goddess of rainbows, and those wings are very real."
A gust of air passed over him as she broke her glamour and unfurled her wings, which she obviously kept hidden in the mortal world. They were golden and more delicate than his own. He hadn't broken his own glamour in decades.
She drew them in again and smiled. "Elektra is my mother, and Thaumus is my father. I'm Hera's messenger."
Eros sighed. So, her mother was an ocean nymph and her father was a sea god, which irrevocably placed her under Poseidon's protection and in his favor. On top of that she was not only favored by Hera, but she was also a sky goddess with her own powers and freedom. This couldn't be good, as Zeus wouldn't stop any of them from doing whatever they wanted to Eros.
"And, in case you care to know who else might come after you for insulting me, remember that Thaumus is the father of the Harpies, making them my half sisters. They dote on me like good big sisters always do."
"You're enjoying this, aren't you?" He wasn't really angry, as he was still embarrassed, but he still didn't think her teasing was very fair.
She quit laughing. "Not that much. But it was nice to put you in your place."
"My place? What do you have against me?" Besides hitting on her, what had he ever done? How could any guy, mortal or immortal, be blamed for trying to pick up a pretty girl? It wasn't as if he had drunkenly groped her or anything.
"You've been coming here for five years and you never even knew I was here. Not being an Olympian doesn't make me any less of a goddess."
He held up his hands in surrender. "You're right. I'm sorry. But I am typically pretty busy. How am I supposed to keep track of every minor deity if I'm dealing with mortals all the time?"
"What is that supposed to mean?" she asked, putting her hands on her hips.
He gulped, no longer finding it hard to believe the Harpies were her sisters. "I just meant...well...okay, I have no idea what I meant. I was just talking."
"You don't care about anyone's feelings, do you?"
"What? Just because I offended you, you think I'm unfeeling? I think you should cut me a break here. Do you know how much heartbreak and pain I've seen?" He finally understood why he hated Valentine's Day. No matter how hard he worked, couples still broke up, still got divorced, still hurt each other, their children, and everyone around them. And he was sick of it.
He was ready to launch into a real tirade and give it to her, but she beat him to it.
"Do you know how much pain you've caused?" she demanded.
That surprised him. He had no idea what she meant. "Who have I caused pain to?"
"Gloria, for one."
Eros searched his mind. Then he remembered. "But we only went out for a few weeks."
Iris shook her head. "She spent months watching you, coming in here almost every day trying to see you, but you didn't notice her until the day she walked by your table in a short skirt. She wore it just for you. She was an old-fashioned girl who deserved to be swept off her feet by a handsome prince, but you took her out clubbing and seduced her. Then you left her."
Put that way, it sounded awful, but Eros didn't remember it like that. "But that's not how it happened. She was fine. I thought she liked clubs. She said she did."
"She would have said anything to make you happy. She went from business suits and comfy sweaters to tank tops and tight jeans for you. She gave up lovely dinners by the fire for drinks in bars for you. And you broke her heart. She was a virgin and you didn't even care."
He winced. He had to admit he had messed up there. If he'd known, he might have stopped at just fooling around, but she'd seemed so eager to please him. Now his memories had a different feel altogether. He had pulled away when he felt how tight she was and asked if she was a virgin, but she had then insisted they keep going by clinging to him and kissing him. That night had been awkward for him, but the sex that followed over the next few weeks had been great for both of them.
Looking back, he felt it should have been different. Normally they might have broken up sooner, but he stuck it out for nearly a month because she'd been a virgin. He should have paid more attention to her feelings and looked past her words. She'd said it was wonderful, but had she meant it? She'd also said that losing her virginity was no big deal, that she'd wanted to for a long time but had been waiting because she'd been through a bad breakup a few years earlier. She'd never said anything else about that breakup. Was she only trying to keep him or make him think she wouldn't be possessive just because he was her first? Wasn't he supposed to be the god who fixed relationships? Shouldn't that make him more intuitive than the average male?
He began to feel overwhelmed. "How do you know all this?"
"She came in here one day. She was a wreck. I took her back into my office. She told me everything about this guy named Erik before I could stop her. I knew you'd hurt her, but I never imagined what a jerk you'd really be in the end."
Eros's face flushed. He wasn't used to other deities knowing about his mistakes. "I'm sorry. I'll apologize to her. What else can I do?"
Iris shook her head. "You should never see her again, but I'd encourage you to make sure she finds the happiness she deserves."
"That's not my job anymore," he explained. "I pissed Zeus off and now my mother's doing it all."
"Well then, I think I should bring Gloria's situation to Aphrodite's attention."
"No!" A cold sweat covered his body. "If she finds out I seduced a virgin, she'll have my head mounted on her chariot."
Iris's mischievous smile worried him as she said, "She just might, but that isn't my problem. You can't stop me." She disappeared.
Eros sat down to think. He couldn't go back to Olympus, not so soon, so Iris was right. He couldn't stop her from getting him into even deeper trouble. And it didn't help that the memory of her anger had his body reacting in more ways than one. She obviously hated him, and he was thinking about kissing her. All in all, he was having a very bad day.
"Dear, oh dear."
Eros had just sat down in his living room when he looked up and saw Aphrodite. Her hair was platinum blonde, straight, and very short instead of falling down her back in honey-colored curls as it usually did, but her eyes remained blue and her skin translucent. She wore a long blue dress that made her eyes look even brighter.
"Just do your worst. Or take me before Zeus. It hardly matters now."
"You seduced a virgin? I should throw you to Artemis."
Artemis, goddess of the hunt and symbol of chastity, was also a woman who had hated Eros for roughly five hundred years. She'd have him gutted in no time.
"Maybe you should."
"I already knew about Gloria. I was waiting for your conscience to get to you so you would make things right."
He looked up in surprise. "You can't be serious."
"I am. If you do it, and do it right, I'll forgive you. No one could overrule me. Zeus thinks things like that are of no consequence."
"I know." Typically, with his mother, the inability of anyone but Zeus to overrule her was a disadvantage. "Don't you think it's too personal?"
She raised her eyebrows and then giggled. "You're saying you had feelings for her?"
"No, but I do have feelings. She acted so sexy. I was already, well, there before I realized."
"Not every mortal loses his or her virginity in high school nowadays, as hard as you might find that to believe."
"I should have read her mind."
"Seems you stopped doing that a long time ago. Bad for your ego, wasn't it? So good at making matches but so bad at relationships."
"I was born to make matches. I'm starting to think I was also born to be alone."
The goddess shrugged. "Perhaps. You never know. Any ideas?"
"Any ideas about what?"
She glared at him. "Gloria. No matter how neglectful you are, these things are never far from your mind."
Eros thought. "Not really. I'll have to think about it. She's probably wary of men now."
"Gee, wonder why?"
He glared back at her, wishing he could wipe the smirk off her face. "You want me to feel bad?"
"I want you to feel human pain. Or at least understand it. It's dangerous to lose the ability to do so."
"I'll find someone for her. Want me to submit him for your approval?"
She waved his question away. "You'll do fine. We'll see to your problems when all this is over."
He jumped up. "Oh no, don't even think--"
She was gone. He kicked the couch and flopped back down on it. He had his work cut out for him: finding the perfect man for Gloria when matchmaking was the last thing he wanted to do, and avoiding his mother's scheme, which would likely prove the harder of the two.
Iris entered Hera's office tentatively because it appeared to be empty.
"I'm here. Just a moment."
Iris looked around but still didn't see the queen of Olympus anywhere.
"Behind you, sweetie," Hera said, slapping Iris on the ass as she walked past.
Iris yelped, but then she composed herself. "You seem in good spirits."
Hera smirked and sighed with contentment. "Mmmm. Had a very nice evening. I was just changing."
Iris turned and looked at the large walk-in closet behind the bookcase. "You've had lots of good evenings lately."
Hera sat in her chair. "And mornings too. Yes, ever since Poseidon and Zeus stopped fighting, my honey-bunny has been very playful. Zeus tends to have these erotic dreams he pulls me into and then he wakes up even hornier."
Hera sighed and shook her head slowly. "You need to get laid, sweetheart. Did you and Poseidon, well, give it a whirl? Seems he's the last male I saw you with. I know he's taken now, but I do hope you got some of that while it was still available."
"No, we didn't. And that was months ago. We went for a walk on the beach while I complained about men."
Hera winced. "Oh. Poseidon probably wasn't the best audience for that."
"He was very kind. He wasn't offended because he knew I was only angry with one particular man."
Iris waited for Hera to say something else, but she didn't. It was very unlike her to have nothing to say about matters of the heart. "It's no secret I've liked him for a long time."
"But you do nothing about it. He came on to you because he didn't know who you were."
"So he would have ignored me if he'd known who I was?"
Hera clucked her tongue at Iris. "No, silly. I mean he wanted nothing more than to sleep with you because he thought you were either mortal or unimportant in the Olympian scheme of things. If he had known who you were, he still would have hit on you, but he would have put a little more charm into it."
"So, as a mortal girl he'd just want to fuck me, but as a goddess he'd date me?"
"Hmmm. Yeah, that does sound awful. Do you get what I mean? It wasn't personal. He prefers to pursue mortal women, even if he never seems to pursue for very long because he gets what he wants and then loses interest. He obviously found you attractive."
"I know. I could have reacted better to his not knowing who I was. Instead of walking off, I could have said something clever. I could have gotten his attention somehow. I guess I was too scared. And defensive."
"You didn't do anything wrong. I have something to tell you, and I'm just trying to lead into it."
"What?" When Hera hesitated, it usually meant the hearer wasn't going to like the news very much.
"Well, Aphrodite has been to see her naughty boy and told him what he needs to do to make things right."
"He has to find love for Gloria, true love. I know. She told me. It ought to be fun to watch."
"Thing is, it's already taken care of."
Iris stared. "He's already done it? You can't be serious!"
"No. Not that. Aphrodite has been working on it herself. Gloria is already dating again. You didn't know because she avoids your restaurant now. It brings back bad memories." Hera stood up and walked toward Iris. "Truth is, Gloria's new guy's going to propose soon. Eros is going to be in for a bit of a shock when he starts making his plans."
"I don't understand. He's just going to get away with it? He seduced a virgin."
"But he didn't use his powers on her. He did it the old-fashioned way. Aphrodite is the only one fit to judge her own son, and she says he regrets taking her maidenhead even if he denies being guilty of breaking her heart."
"But isn't that also a matter for his mother to decide?"
Hera held up her hand. "Right now he thinks Gloria's crying her eyes out and staying home because of him, but really she's very happy. We want him to see how easily true love can help someone get over even a god. Once he sees her truly happy, he will understand how unhappy he made her. And how unhappy he truly is living his life the way he does."
"I can see the merit in that, but what does this have to do with me?"
"His behavior will only get worse as he grows more cynical. We want someone to teach him the meaning and value of unconditional love."
Iris didn't want to be the one to do that. "No. Please, don't involve me. If Aphrodite has come up with some scheme, fine, but don't involve me."
Hera looked at Iris for a long moment. "Are you afraid of getting hurt?"
Iris knew exactly how much it would hurt when Eros didn't love her back. "What do you think?"
"I understand, but will you trust us? He's already rather taken with you. You fill his thoughts, and most of them are very wicked."
"I stood up to him, so now he wants to fuck me. That's it. It hasn't escaped my notice that he likes a good chase now and then."
"We won't force you, but you're going to find him very much in your path. We'll see what happens."
"But I don't want to--" She didn't finish her sentence because she stood in her own office, alone. She sighed and sat down. She knew the next few weeks would be very trying, but if she could only stay strong, Hera and Aphrodite would soon tire of their little game.