Confessions from the Carnivore Club Dave and Nancy's Story
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by Kate Richards
Description: What happens when a nice, engaged woman finds out that her conservative, lawyer fiancé is a member of the notorious Carnivore Club? She recreates herself and arrives at the club in full bondage attire, leather and lace from head to foot. And aware of desires she never knew she had. Dave is going to have to move fast if he wants to stay on Nancy's radar.
eBook Publisher: Solstice Publishing/Solstice After Dark, 2010
eBookwise Release Date: August 2010
Available eBook Formats: OEBFF Format (IMP) [73 KB]
Reading time: 45-63 min.
Dave and I were less than a month from the altar when I discovered his membership in a kinky-bondage group that met at the Carnivore Club every Tuesday. We were an ideal couple, everyone said so. We worked hard--we were saving to buy a comfortably sprawling house for the three children we hoped one day to have. Just last week, we received news our offer on a split-level three bedroom in the suburb of Rancho Mirales was accepted, my dress was ready for a final fitting, and all my dreams for a happily ever after were about to come true. I had bridal dreams every night, some scarier than others, but with the wedding so close a few jitters were bound to happen.
We woke up a little earlier than usual that morning--I should say Dave woke me up. He's a morning person when it comes to lovemaking and I opened my eyes to find him pressed against me, his hardness pushed into the hollow of my back, his hands caressing my abdomen, then venturing higher.
I take mornings slowly, and not always cheerfully, but Dave's hands rubbing slow circles on my breasts and his warm breath tickling the fine, soft hairs at the base of my neck were too enticing for me to be anything but eager, warm and willing.
degreesMorning," I said.
"Morning," Dave answered. "In the mood?"
degreesOh, always in the mood for you." I snuggled back against him, feeling him harden even further as my silky nightgown rubbed against his erection. He pinched my nipples and my core throbbed under his masterful touch. I moved to turn onto my back, but he held me in place and continued to press soft, tingling kisses on the spot on my neck, sending chills up and down my spine.
His left hand moved to slip my nightgown up and moved back down to find the slick warmth between my legs. He knew just where to touch to make me want him desperately. I slid my left leg over his thigh to give him better access and he obliged by sliding one long finger into my passage while rubbing his thumb over and over my sensitive folds until I was so close to orgasm, I pulled on his wrist to stop him.
degreesPlease, I want you inside me when I come." The words were hard to form through the sensual haze surrounding me.
degreesSure baby, soon," He shifted so his hardness slipped down, sliding between my cheeks to enter me from behind. We made love like this most mornings when he stayed over, and today was no different. Spooning so perfectly, he glided back and forth over my inflamed wetness, finally sliding inside. The tingling friction made me gasp.
Dave pushed into me, an inch at a time, caressing my channel with his silky hardness, over and over, slow, so slow, until I thought I would explode if he continued.
degreesPlease what?" His breathy whisper against my earlobe was almost more than I could stand.
degreesPlease, more, faster," I managed to say and a shudder ran down my body when he obeyed. "Oh, God." I hadn't been sure there was actually such thing as a G-spot before I met Dave, but now I was a true believer. He pressed on that incredibly sensitive area with each stroke, and I was on fire.
His other hand glided down from my breast to bury itself between my legs, stroking, stroking, adding to the sensations that threatened to overwhelm me. Then he pulled out.
degreesNo, don't stop, please," I breathed. I wanted him back in, but I knew what was coming next. We'd been here before, and it cooled me down just a little.
degreesWhat?" But I knew what. It was the same question he always asked, and I always said no. Until that moment, I would have said I would always say no. But, right then, when my mind swam in circles in the shimmering erotic waves this man could create around us, I said, "Yes," but managed to grab the coherence to add, "Please be careful.
His hot breath on the back of my neck, fingers buried in my slick wetness, thumb rubbing small, gentle circles right on my clit. It would have taken a stronger woman than me to hold out any longer.
But I was scared enough to tense, and he felt it. "Don't worry, I won't hurt you." He slipped away from me and reached for something in the drawer next to the bed. I felt a cool moisture as he slipped a finger coated in lubricant around my rear opening and pushed it gently inside. This wasn't new--I'd allowed his fingers to play there before. And honestly, it was a crazy turn-on that, when accompanied by his mouth on me, pushed me over the edge every time.
But he was so large. I tensed again and he murmured soft nonsense syllables in my ear until I relaxed enough for two fingers to enter. I was close, but I tried to hold back. Then his fingers were gone and I felt the slippery, lube-coated head of his erection pushing at the opening.
It was a little uncomfortable, but as he pushed the head forward, my opening seemed to stretch to accept him, and I fell over the edge. His fingers massaged my most sensitive places, his huge penis slid into my ass where no man had ever gone before. It was more than I could stand, and I screamed his name.
He stopped for a moment, letting me adjust, but I was too far gone to wait. I fell off the edge of the world, weightless and spinning and hearing sobbing cries that I finally realized were my own. He used my boneless willingness and pushed the rest of the way in, all of his length pinioning me, stretching me, filling me.
I clutched the sheets with both hands, trying to hold onto something that would keep me grounded, that would help me know which way was up. As Dave pulled out, slowly again, almost all the way, then back in hard. My back arched, pulling away from him even as he wrapped me closer in his arms and began to move, in and out, filling me and leaving me open, wanting him back. He moved faster, smoother, as my body began to accommodate him better. After a moment --or a lifetime--he groaned, a sound from deep within, and I could feel his heat pour into me. He dropped his head to my neck, beads of sweat dripping down onto my skin. We spooned side by side, his arm limp across my waist. Neither of us moved for a while, then he pulled away with a groan. "I have to go to work."
"Oh, no, I can't move." I laughed weakly when he pulled me across the bed.
degreesCome on, we have to save our days off for our honeymoon. If we stay home every time we make love, we'll never get to work."
I loved him so much then, reminding me that soon we'd be waking up together every morning. Our wedding day couldn't come soon enough for me, and I smiled as I gathered up my clothes and headed for the shower. Dave was always pushing me out of my comfort zone, and I never regretted the places he took me.
I wandered off to work, suspecting my coworkers would know from the silly grin on my face that I'd been up to something. Not that I cared.
* * * *
After work, I ran into Barbara at the market. Barbara, the paralegal from Dave's office. I didn't recognize her at first, in the produce aisle between broccoli and green onions. The Barbara I knew was conservatively dressed and always had low-heeled pumps that matched her expensive suits. This Barbara was wearing a skin-tight black leather halter dress, its low-cut neckline exposing an alarming amount of smooth, white breasts. Her curly red hair spilled over her shoulders, and her makeup was what I can only describe as intense, glamorous. Deep red lipstick outlined her Cupid's bow mouth, and black eyeliner made her sea green eyes look predatory.
"Nancy? Is that you?" The voice of regular Barbara was coming from thigh-high boot Barbara.
degreesOh, hi Barbara," I said, keeping my eyes on her face. "Going out tonight?"
degreesNo, club is tomorrow. You know, Tuesday."
"I beg your pardon? You go clubbing on Tuesdays?"
Barbara laughed, a disturbingly sexy chuckle for talking with her boss's fiance. She stepped closer and leaned to whisper in my ear, "Club." And she actually winked, then slipped away down the detergent aisle, clutching a bottle of olive oil and a bag of semi-sweet chocolate chips.
I watched her go, completely taken aback at the knowledge that Barbara from Dave's office belonged to a leather club or something. I could only imagine where she was going with the oil and chocolate chips. If club night wasn't until the next day, why was Barbara already dressed up? I shook my head and continued to fill my cart. Dave would be over in a couple of hours, and I wanted to make an especially nice dinner tonight. I couldn't wait to tell him about Barbara's transformation. Wouldn't my sweetie be amazed!
But Dave didn't make it over that night. He called to say he had been delayed by a client with an emergency. When my lawyerly fiance said that, I knew it meant somebody was in jail, so I wished him good luck and hung up. Since this was Monday, I knew I wouldn't see him again until Wednesday, because he had his club meeting on Tuesday.
Just like Barbara. A club meeting every Tuesday. I'd always assumed it was some kind of attorney's association, and he had let me assume that. Once or twice, I had actually called it his lawyer's meeting, and he had done nothing to convince me otherwise. On a whim, I went online and looked up Barbara's number. She answered on the third ring.
degreesHi, Barbara, it's Nancy."
degreesOh hi, Nancy. What's up? I'm a little busy here." She sounded out of breath.
degreesI won't keep you, Barb. I just wanted to say how nice it was to see you in the store. And I love your outfit!" I was trying for a friendly, girlfriend kind of tone, so she wouldn't know I was such an out-of-it geek.
degreesThanks, it's one of my favorites. Of course, it's not extreme enough for meetings."
Extreme? Meetings? "Oh, umm, of course not. I wonder if you'd help me get an outfit like that sometime. I think Dave would love it."
degreesYes, I'll bet he would. When do you want to go?"
"Are you free tomorrow at lunchtime?"
degreesThat would be nice, Nancy. I've always thought you'd look terrific in leather. Maybe a bustier. Do you need shoes too?"
Everything. I needed whatever it took to fit in at their 'club'. But I didn't want her to know I knew nothing. "Yes, I need a whole new outfit."
degreesSounds great. I know just the shop, they have everything. Wait 'til you see."
degreesThanks, oh and please don't tell Dave."
degreesA surprise. Don't worry, I won't say a word. See you tomorrow then."
I said goodbye and hung up, the buzzing sound in my ears making it hard to hear. What on earth was Dave up to? He dressed so conservatively and had never given me a hint that he might like me to dress in stilettos or anything. I looked down at my baggy T-shirt and leggings and stocking feet. When we went out, I dressed on the yuppie side, low heels and button-down blouses, nice skirts or slacks. Images of Barbara at the grocery store flashed before my eyes when I crawled into bed, to try and sleep that night.
I was a little bleary-eyed from worry and lack of sleep the next morning, but determined. When I got dressed for work, I stood staring into my closet for long moments. Everything in there was so boring. Rows of neatly pressed cotton and rayon blouses and those same skirts, knee length most of them. My dumb, boring shoes lined up like soldiers in uniform. If Dave liked sexy leather-clad girls, what was he doing with me? I had a feeling my penny loafers weren't the right kind of leather.
Somehow, the endless morning passed, and I walked down to the corner to meet Barbara. Dressed in her usual business attire, red curls restrained with a copper clasp at the nape of her neck, she looked like the old Barbara I was used to. It was easy to feel like the day before might not have happened until we walked into a wild little boutique on a side street. It was, in fact, called 'Wild Times', and the window display consisted of two mannequins in leather halter tops and leather short shorts. A little bell chimed when we entered, and I was immediately aware of the scent of good leather and sandalwood incense from the burner by the cash register. The store carried clothing for what Barbara kept referring to as the 'Lifestyle', and I was overwhelmed by the displays of all kinds of leather clothes, and a selection of outrageous boots like I'd seen Barbara wearing at the market.
degreesWe need to go to the back first," she said, grabbing my elbow and propelling me in that direction. In an alcove the back of the store, they had the sexiest lingerie I'd ever seen--silk, satin, lace, and lots of ribbons and ties whose purposes escaped me for the moment. The clerk followed us in and pulled a curtain across, enclosing the lingerie area, and then she and Barbara stood, looking at me.
"What?" I asked.
degreesTake it off, girl," the clerk said. She was a little thing, not over five feet tall, with piercings that I could see and probably hiding several I just bet I couldn't. She was dressed in leather from shoulders to toes, and her boots had heels so high I cringed at the thought of even trying to stand in them.
degreesWhat?" I asked again, eyes ping-ponging between the two women, hoping they weren't expecting me to strip naked right in front of them. At this point, the plan was making my tummy ache just a little.
degreesYou have to try everything on, Nancy," Barbara said. "If they don't fit right, some of these things can be downright uncomfortable."
degreesAnd they would look like crap," the salesgirl added helpfully.
Looking at the stacks of under things, I could see they were right. This was nothing like the department store lingerie department where I bought my cotton and nylon bras and panties. And even there I tried on bras before I bought them. Some of the things I was looking at had so many hooks and ties, I couldn't even imagine how to put them on. I stripped down to my panties, thanking providence that I had at least worn a thong today. Hey, I'm not a complete square. I know, the very saying that I'm not a square makes me one.
degreesSee anything you like, Nancy?" Barbara looked so delighted to be there, running her hands over the lovely, soft-looking piles of delicate lingerie. There was a rainbow of colored items on one small shelf, but the rest of the collection was frankly black.
Every kind of black. Satin panties spilled over lace corsets in a sensuous cacophony of ebony softness. I couldn't keep my hands off them, even if I had no idea how most of them worked. I almost forgot that I was standing there with two women I hardly knew, in nothing but my skimpiest thong panties, butt cheeks exposed to the air-conditioned atmosphere.
Barbara looked me up and down, while the clerk, whose nametag said Raven, stood back with one hand on her hip, a long, manicured, black-polished nail tapping her cheek.
I couldn't stand it anymore and closed my eyes, trying to imagine myself anywhere else, maybe even wearing clothes. I had to be crazy. If Dave had this secret life going, then what did we have? I opened my eyes and was about to say, "never mind, I'm going back to work", when Raven spoke.
"You have a pretty good body for a corset I think."
Barbara beamed as though Raven had said something clever. "Oh, she so totally does." This was not the Barbara I was used to, the consummate professional from Dave's office. "Do you have one that will work for her?"
Raven grinned back. "Of course we do. But it's in the back room--give me a minute."
I waited, still almost completely naked, but Barbara didn't seem to notice as she chattered on about fetish fashions and clients from the law office. I felt like I had fallen into the rabbit hole, but finally Raven came back holding a white box.
degreesI found it. Look, Barb, what do you think?" She opened the box and lifted an ice blue piece of leather with long, dangling ribbons out of its crinkling nest of white tissue paper.
degreesOh, God. When did you get that in? I've never seen anything like it. Do you have the accessories to wear with it?"
I stared at the garment. It didn't look like enough leather to stretch around my torso. "Umm, I don't think that's my size."
They both giggled. "Oh, it's your size," Barbara said. "Just wait."
degreesYou have such big, gorgeous breasts," said Raven, running the tips of her fingers across one of them before I knew what was happening. "Feel the weight of them, Barb," she continued, cupping one in the palm of her small hand.
Barbara lifted the other one slightly, running her thumb over my nipple. "And so responsive," she agreed. "That corset is perfect." She looked away from my stiffening peak. "It's cut really low. Should we use pasties?"
Pasties? I stood there, in my thong, two women's hands caressing my naked breasts, and tried to think what pasties might mean. To my horror, I could feel the thin strap of my thong becoming damp. "Oh, you mean like the strippers wear?" I asked, finally able to formulate a thought. I had a vague picture in my mind of a dancer I'd seen once in Las Vegas wearing nothing above the waist but some kind of tassels glued onto her breasts, covering only the nipples.
degreesKind of," Raven said. "But, please say you'll take them. I have a pair that's so hot, wait, I'll get them," and she, and her hand on my boob, were suddenly gone again.
degreesSince this is the first time you've been to our club, you might as well wear the pasties," Barb said, in such a casual tone it was hard to believe she was still cupping and caressing my left breast. "It's fun to dress to impress, sometimes. When did Dave tell you about us?"
I didn't know what to say. He hadn't told me and I wasn't sure whether to tell her that or not. My breast felt so heavy and I was actually leaning into her hand. She met my eyes and smiled. But before I could think what any of that that might mean, Raven was back holding up a small black suede bag and I was saved from having to answer.
She practically bounced with glee. "I'm so glad you came here, Nancy. Your coloring and shape are perfect for some of the nice things I've had hidden away."
degreesI thought most club wear was black," I said.
degreesOh, mostly it is," Barbara said. "But, not all. And Raven knows what she's doing. You're going to knock their socks off tonight. She reached up and pulled my hair away from my face. "I have to try to get you into my stylist this afternoon." She pulled her cell phone out from between her breasts then paused. "If that's all right?"
degreesSure," I said. What the heck. I needed every bit of confidence I could get, and good hair would really add to that.
Raven stood back and looked at me again. "Do you have to go back to work?"
degreesOh, I suppose not, why?"
degreesBecause when we're through here, you'll need the rest of the day at the salon, don't you think Barb?"
degreesProbably. You want to look great, don't you?"
degreesI want to fit in."
Another fit of giggling from my advisors. "We can give you the look--you'll have to bring the attitude," Barb said.
She ducked through the curtain and I could hear her talking, presumably getting me the promised salon appointment.
degreesOkay, what else do we need?" Raven grabbed a pair of micro panties from the display behind me, brushing against me as she did, and I stifled a gasp. My nerve endings were so sensitive, I didn't know what was going on. Sure, I had always admired beautiful, sexy women, but I'd never had this kind of reaction before. And I had a feeling that, as casual as the ladies were, they knew how I felt.
Raven piled a low, mosaic-topped table in the alcove with the corset, the pasties, a very short, very tight-looking skirt, fishnet stockings, the little bag, and a pair of black thigh-high boots with four-inch stiletto heels. The suede boots were so soft, I couldn't keep from petting them, which made Raven smile at me.
"Okay, Nancy, now let's try it all on," Barb said. "It's kind of hard to do the corset up by yourself at first, but by the time you're done at the salon you'll have to go right to the club anyway, so let the girls there help you get dressed."
degreesOkay," I said doubtfully. "What time is my appointment?"
degreesIn a half hour," Barb replied. "So we'd better get your outfit together and get you on your way."
degreesAnd what time is Club?"
degreesNine, but you should make it by around then."
"I thought these things started later and it didn't matter what time you got there?"
degreesUsually, but this is regular Tuesday night thing, and most of us have work in the morning. Oh, and I don't know how much Dave filled you in, but because we live in such a small town, you'll see all kinds of kinks tonight."
"Kinks?" If I wasn't careful, they were going to think I was new at this. Right.
degreesWell," Barb said, "usually you won't find fetish people with swappers, things like that. But in this silly little town, there aren't enough people on the edge to form their own clubs, so we get together on Tuesdays, just to...well you'll see. Everyone is really nice and I'm sure you'll like them."
Fetishes and swappers? Heavens! What was Dave into? I vacillated between cold terror and rabid curiosity. And what on earth was going to take me nearly eight hours in the salon? I tried not to think about any of it too much. In for a penny...
degreesOkay, dress me up."
Barb pointed to my now more-than-slightly-damp thong and I stepped out of it then pulled on the tiny scrap of black silk panties that Raven handed me. Next, she held a garter belt for me to step into, which rode low on my hips, its fastenings dangling.
degreesSit," Raven said, pointing to a chair in the corner of the alcove. I obeyed, and found that the chair was covered in a cool-feeling silken fabric that added to my sensual whirl. She lifted my foot and slid a black fishnet over it and up my leg, smoothing it with her small, soft hands up to my thigh, where she fastened it to the garter.
She set my foot down and lifted the other. My breathing was getting noticeably louder and somewhat ragged. I was sure the two other women were aware of my state, and could feel my cheeks reddening in embarrassment and arousal. As Raven unrolled and smoothed the second stocking Barb stepped closer to me and bent down, brushing a soft kiss on my cheek.
degreesIt's okay to feel turned on, you know," she said softly, her breath warm against my ear. "That's the whole point of these clothes, to make you feel sensual, aware of yourself as a woman." Even in her conservative office clothes, Barbara was sexy. Why hadn't I noticed it before? I was willing to bet Dave had noticed.
degreesI certainly am aware of myself. Particularly since I'm still just about naked here."
Barbara laughed and called, "Raven, we'd better get Nancy dressed. We're running out of time. She'll be late for her appointment at Minx."
degreesMinx? Isn't that the salon out on Fourth Street?" I asked.
degreesYes, it's the one with the picture of the cute blonde with the old-style pixie cut in the window."
"And they do club styles there?"
Raven came back in with a long cape-like garment over her arms. "They do fetish styles there, and some Goth. You'll see."
degreesWhat's that for?" Was I going to go as a lady vampire?
degreesThe cape? You can't go through the streets in your new outfit--you'd be arrested."
This was sounding bad. And they laced me into the corset, Barbara pulling the strings so tight that I looked like a wasp-waisted Gibson girl. The ice blue leather corset came up only over the bottom portion of my breasts, leaving the nipples barely covered. Next the short, tight, black skirt then I stepped into the boots, leaning on Raven while Barbara held the boots out to me. They stepped back, smiling at me in a very friendly way.
"You've got a look now," said Barbara. "Once you get your hair and makeup and stuff done, you will look like an old hand at the sex club.'
degreesI think we forgot something," I said.
degreesWhat?" asked Raven.
I stated the obvious. "A top?"
degreesOh, I'm sorry," Raven said, reaching behind her. She grabbed the little bag off the shelf. "We forgot the pasties."
degreesThe pasties? Don't they go under the blouse?"
degreesYeah, maybe, if you work at the library. But at a fetish club, they'll be enough. Try not to bend over too much, and they may not even show."
Panic set in and my head started to spin. I grabbed a shelf to keep from falling over and pulled the stack of rainbow-hued undies over onto myself, then fell off my boots. I ended up on the floor with jewel-toned thongs and demi-cup bras on my head. By the time my loyal dressers stopped laughing enough to draw breath, I was glowering at them, which just set them off again. But finally, they took pity and pulled it together enough to help me up and onto a stool.
Raven reached behind her for the little bag and dangled it from one finger. "Hold out your hand,"
I did as Raven requested, and she spilled two small, heart-shaped objects into my hand. They looked like earrings, but bigger, with lace backing and rhinestones attached over most of their surface. I had no idea what they were at first--then I did.
degreesOh, no. No way." I backed away from Raven and Barbara, looking at what I held in my hand. "I can't go out in public wearing only these on my breasts.
Barbara stepped closer to me again. "Honestly, Nancy. How big is your bikini top?"
degreesIt covers more than this!"
"But not much, right? And if you want to go to the Carnivore Club, you'll have to get with the program."
degreesWe don't have time to put them on you, right now, but you get the general idea, right? Quick, get dressed and call your office to say you can't get back this afternoon. You won't have time for the full treatment at the salon if you don't go now."
* * * *
With both Barb and Raven helping, I managed to shed the clothes and boots and was on my way. After a quick phone call to the office, old Miss Reliable had no problem getting the afternoon off, and I hopped in my car.
When I walked in, the salon had every appearance of an upscale hair spa. There were large, green plants in the waiting area, hanging over plush sofas and occasional tables piled with hairstyling magazines just like every salon I'd ever been to. The floor was almost too pretty to walk on, some kind of highly-polished dark wood that glowed under the subdued lighting. Two women sat on the sofas, paging through the magazines, apparently checking out the latest styles. They looked like wealthy, young society types, and I wondered if they were here for a makeover as well.
Directly opposite the entrance was a plain door, with a small plaque that said, 'Please ring bell for service." So I did.
The door opened within seconds, and a woman in a regular hairstylist's apron over a T-shirt and jeans opened the door and waved her in. "Nancy? Barb said you were on the way. Hurry, Felicia is waiting."
She reached out and took my hand, pulling me through the door. I noticed one of the women waiting giving me an evil look, probably because she got here first, but there wasn't anything I could do about that.
degreesI'm Annie," she said, leading me through the salon. We were in a large, open room with eight styling stations lining the walls. It was a brightly lit, area with creamy yellow walls and deep green stylist's chairs, and the women looked like regular townies getting regular styles. There were a couple of nail stations in the back, and I kept waiting for Annie to stop at one of them, but she just kept walking, holding my hand as though we were the oldest of friends.
At the back of the salon, Annie punched some numbers into a keypad and a door opened. She let go of my hand to gesture me into the hallway that was behind the door.
It was a whole other world from the everyday salon in the front. Deep pile carpet in an eggplant shade muffled our steps as we made our way to the very end of the gold wallpapered hallway where she ushered me into a room with a number 9 on the ornate, glossy black, gothic- looking door. I expected to see a gargoyle somewhere.
degreesIf you'll just wait a minute, I'll let Felicia know you're here. Take off all your clothes and wrap this around you." She handed me a plush terry wrap and slipped out the door.
I shrugged. The way the day was going, it seemed I was going to be naked a lot. I'd never actually had to strip for a hair appointment, but Barb had said I was getting the full treatment. A massage maybe? That would be nice.
While I unbuttoned my blouse and slid out of my skirt and pumps, I took a moment to absorb my surroundings. There was no carpeting in this room. The floor covering looked like stone, but felt soft and springy beneath my bare feet. The walls were covered with some kind of heavy fabric. A stylist's chair stood on one side and what I thought was a massage table loomed in the middle of the room, although it had some odd looking hardware hanging down its sides. There were no windows but a skylight provided enough light that Annie hadn't even turned on any of the fixtures I saw around the room. They looked odd, kind of like dentist's lights. I wrapped the terrycloth around me, and turned when the door opened.
degreesGood afternoon," said the tall, ebony-haired goddess who practically floated into the room. "So, Dave finally talked you into joining our little group. He must be so pleased."
I felt my mouth drop open. I hadn't told Barb she was the reason I even knew the Carnivore Club existed--she must have assumed Dave had told me. But, looking into Felicia's kohl-outlined, deep blue eyes, I knew I'd better come clean.
degreesActually, no. He didn't tell me." I tried to think how to explain without getting Barb in trouble. "I just found out on my own."
"Did you now." She glided over to a sofa and seated herself, patting the cushion next to her. "Sit, tell me all about it."
Felicia had an aura about her that made her impossible to resist. She wasn't that tall, I realized, maybe five foot five or six, but she seemed taller. Her long hair was gathered into a ponytail high on her head and draped over her shoulder and across one high, perfect breast. She wore a short, elegant black dress that clung to her curves like a second skin, and shiny black leather stiletto pumps that showed just how flawless her legs were.
I tried to walk gracefully over to join her, but in my bare feet and hands clutching the terry wrap, my general lack of confidence showed. I gave up and plopped down like the sack of potatoes I felt like in comparison to Felicia.
She reached over and stroked my own long, blonde hair. It was held at the nape of my neck by a plastic barrette, which she unclasped, running her fingers through the freed locks. "A natural blond, and how silky your hair is. You need a better look than this, my dear." She continued stroking my hair, absentmindedly, as though I were a pet cat. I found myself longing to lay my head in her lap and let her pet me all day. It was all I could do not to purr. But I took a deep breath and leaned away, letting her hand fall to the side.
degreesDave doesn't know anything about this. We are supposed to get married in less than a month and I just found out he has a whole secret life." Tears welled up in my eyes, and I could hear my voice tremble. "Why doesn't he just let me go if I'm too boring for him? He never told me. Why would he? I'm just an ordinary, dull nothing."
degreesOh, no," said Felicia, reaching out to pull my head into her lap just the way I'd wanted to earlier. She brushed my hair back from my face and laid her cool hand on my heated cheek. "He loves you very much. That's why we made him promise to tell you, give you a chance to understand the side of him that goes to the club." She smiled down at me, heavy lashes framing those intense indigo eyes.
"Then why didn't he tell me?"
degreesYou'll have to ask him that. But, never think he doesn't love you. You're his favorite subject at all the meetings. That's why we're so delighted to have the chance to meet you and help you get your style together for the occasion of your first club night."
Between her hand on my cheek and the hypnotic scent of her deeply floral perfume, I was thoroughly entranced by Felicia. There was something irresistible about her and I hadn't the least idea where to go from there with my feelings. So, a few moments passed with us sitting there in the quiet, dim light of the room. My muscles were utterly limp, but I could feel a pulsing between my legs, where the sensuality of the situation was setting in.
Felicia smiled at me and I knew she was aware of my reaction to her. It was probably a common one. "Feel better, then?" When I nodded, she said, "Okay, then stand up and let me look at you. Without the wrap, please."
Oh, what the hell. I stood up and let the terrycloth drop to the floor. I wasn't even embarrassed anymore. The situation was so sensual, so comfortable, nudity was just natural.
degreesTurn around, slowly; that's a good girl. Very nice." She stood up and halted my turning with a hand on my shoulder, then proceeded to walk around me. She moved like a panther, gracefully, on the balls of her feet. I wanted to follow her movements, but obediently stood still, although inside I was a seething mass of conflicts. What was going on with me today, that I was reacting all over the place when women touched me? One part of me seemed very accepting of this new sensuality, but there was another part responsible for the wild thumping of my heart that I was sure must be audible to anyone within twenty feet of me.
And the part that thought it was okay to be intrigued by the soft hands and fragrances around me was a surprise. Even in college, I'd never had 'that' kind of a friend. I knew some of the girls experimented, but I didn't. And now--well, now I was finding out some things about myself that I would have to look at later--when I didn't have Felicia's sensuality clouding what was left of my brain.
degreesYes, I see what we need to do. Will you trust us to make you even more beautiful and desirable for your Dave and everyone else to see?"
degreesYou won't cut my hair?" I'd worn it long since my teens, and was afraid to make a huge change on a day when everything else was so up in the air.
degreesOh, no. Your hair..." she lifted a strand and ran her fingers through it. A shiver ran down my spine. "Your hair is beautiful. We'll style it, but other than a trim to even up the ends, we won't cut it."
degreesOkay, then." A thought occurred to me, probably because of the white steel table with drawers I'd just noticed in the corner, like something in a doctor's office. Which made me a little nervous. "And, no piercings."
degreesNot today, my dear, not today." Felicia bent and brushed a soft, quick kiss on my lips and glided toward the door. "Annie will be right in to get started. I'll see you later when you're ready for me."
I watched the door close softly behind her, unable to look away. I was so aware of my body, naked again, in the cool air of the room. She was obviously another member of Dave's Tuesday night club. Alone in the room, my doubts resurfaced. With all those beautiful and exotic women around, why did he want me? I fastened the wrap around me again and sank to the sofa, wondering how I even stood a chance with him.
But I didn't have much time to worry about it because Annie opened the door wide and gestured to me. "Come on, I'm all ready for you."
She started back down the hallway, but only went a few yards before pulling open a door and beckoning me into a room with two sinks. Even in the strange world that I seemed to be inhabiting today, I knew I was about to get my hair washed. I lay back in the chair and relaxed under her fingers as they massaged my scalp. I've always loved having my hair done, but with long, straight hair I don't need to get it done often. And of course we'd been saving our money...
degreesOkay," she said, pushing the chair back upright again and wrapping a soft, fluffy towel around my squeaky clean hair. "Next is waxing."
"Waxing?" I asked. "Waxing what exactly?"
degreesExactly everything," she laughed, pushing me out the door and back down the hallway to yet another room. Everything? I didn't think this was going to feel as good as the shampoo had.
This time she knocked on the door that said "Hair" in a red circle with a line slashing through it. "Come in," a high voice sang. "I'm just finishing up here"
Annie opened the door and we entered to see a tall, thin woman gathering her own terrycloth wrap around herself. There were tear streaks on her cheeks, and I started to back up, but Annie was still behind me and gave me one more little push into the room before I could change my mind.
We waited while the woman thanked the technician in a wavering voice and left the room, closing the door.
degreesIt's okay, Nancy," Annie said in a low voice. "Alexa is a big baby. She always cries like that. But she likes the pain."
I didn't know what to say to that, so I said nothing and allowed Annie to introduce me to Helen, who would be handling this part of my beautification. "I'll be back when you're finished. About an hour, Helen?"
Helen sat me down on a chaise lounge-like chair with a paper covering. She looked me up and down, felt my arms and legs and asked me to remove my wrapper, before laying a heavy cotton sheet across my body. "A little longer, Annie. I'll buzz you."
With a reassuring smile, Annie was gone.
degreesIf you're ready, lean back." I did and she smoothed some lotion over my arms, legs and then between my legs. "This makes things more comfortable. While we give it a few minutes to work, I'll take a look at your face.
She pulled a stool up and sat beside my chair. "I think we can just pluck your brows a little and they'll be fine." She picked up a set of tweezers, pulled hairs until my eyes were teary, then announced that it was time for the waxing. From speakers in the corners, soothing, New Age type music flooded the room.
degreesLet me know if it hurts too much," she said. "Have you ever been waxed before?" At my head shake, she went on. "It hurts, and that's all there is to it. But you'll love the results. Ready?"
I leaned back and tried to relax, breathing deeply and focusing on the music. When she sprinkled talc over my skin, it felt kind of nice and cool, and the warm wax wasn't too bad. But when she spread the cloth tape over the wax and pulled--well, it hurt. A lot. And I know I yelped with just about every tug, while she did my legs and arms before pushing the sheet back to expose my sex.
"You really don't get waxed, do you? Or even trim here?"
I felt embarrassed. I honestly hadn't even thought of it, except to shave a little for bikini season. "No, I didn't know I should...won't I get red bumps? Ingrown hairs?"
She smiled at me. "Heavens no. I'll give you a lotion to take home. You put it on for a few days and the bumps won't happen. Let's do it, then." With a firm but gentle hand across my stomach she pushed me back down into my seat and detached the bottom portion of the chair, so her stool was right up against the table and my vulnerable girly parts.
Again, the talc felt good, really good. Before she applied the wax, Helen said, "Felicia said you wanted a Hollywood, is that right?"
I'd heard of Brazilian waxes and hoped a Hollywood was less extreme, so I nodded. "Okay, then." She proceeded to apply the wax. A lot of wax, it seemed to me, as I leaned forward to watch. It was interesting, she looked so professional in her white jacket over jeans and low boots. I relaxed, how bad could it hurt?
Bad, really, really, bad. I screamed. It felt like each individual hair was being chewed off by fire ants dipped in Tabasco sauce. Gasping, I looked down and saw that there was a bald strip right down the middle of my girly parts. When the pain abated so I could breathe, I asked, "What is a Hollywood exactly?"
Helen looked up from her work. "Why a Hollywood means taking every single hair off. Didn't you know that?"
"And a Brazilian?"
degreesThat means we leave a little bit at the front, sometimes in a design. Like an initial."
An initial? I dropped my head back in despair, while she went back to work, pulling every hair out by the roots, causing pain I'd never dreamed of. After a while, I just gritted my teeth and held my breath.
The next thing I noticed through my fog of pain was Helen standing up to push a button beside the door. "That wasn't too bad, was it?"
degreesNot if you're like that Alexa chick and into pain, but for those of us who take Tylenol for split ends...yeah, it was pretty damn bad."
She came back with a bottle of lotion and began massaging it into my reddened skin. Arms first, then legs, finally the abused area where she'd performed the Hollywood waxing. Now that she wasn't ripping me apart, I looked down to see my perfectly bald mound. It looked kind of hot, I thought. And the lotion she was massaging in was so soothing, but stimulating at the same time. She gave me a pat on the thigh and said, "All done, Annie should be here for you in a minute."
I hopped off the table and noticed as I turned around that there was a damp spot on the white paper covering the chair. Helen winked at me.
degreesHappens all the time--even when it hurts, it makes you aware of yourself, of your skin and how sensitive it can be. Don't worry about it."
My traitorous body was having a field day.
I pulled my wrap on again and Annie came and took me back to our original room where she gave me a manicure and pedicure and sat me in the chair to brush my hair in long, slow strokes until it was almost dry. She took a tiny pair of scissors and evened it up, as Felicia had said she would.
"Lie down on the table on your stomach and I'll give you a bit of a massage, since we have time. "
The dim lighting was relaxing, and Annie turned on the same music system that Helen had used in the waxing room. But this time the whole atmosphere was bliss. She ran her soft hands over my shoulders and down my back, over my tense buttocks and thighs, relaxing each muscle until I finally fell asleep.
I don't know how long she let me sleep before gently stroking my hair and whispering that Felicia had arrived. I sat up, letting the sheet Annie had draped over my sleeping body fall to the floor.
Annie stepped back and Felicia was right in front of me, smiling. "We have to hurry a little now," she said, "but you looked so peaceful resting there, I didn't have the heart to wake you sooner. Annie, bring Nancy something nice to drink."
Annie left the room and Felicia continued. "What do you think so far?"
degreesWell I loved the shampoo and the massage, and the waxing hurt a lot," I said, looking down. "But I must admit it made me feel so sexy, so exposed."
degreesExactly." She smiled at me. "It's not about anyone else, all the things we do here. Not even your Dave. Oh, he'll be amazed, but he loved you as you were, you know. This is about you and how you feel about yourself, your body, your femininity."
I considered her words. "I've never felt so aware of my body as I have today."
degreesThen you understand. Well, here's Annie, and we'd better finish and get you ready. It's after seven now."
Seven! Where had the afternoon gone? "Okay, what's left?"
"We have to do your hair and makeup and get you in your outfit. Ready?"
I was ready. After everything I'd gone through today, I was ready to see the final product. Annie guided me over to the salon chair and again brushed my hair. By the time she was done it shone like golden silk, its reddish highlights gleaming. My hair never looked that way when I did it.
As though she read my mind, Felicia spoke from where she was curled in the corner of the sofa. "It's important to take care of yourself. It makes you look good, but it also makes you feel good, which is more important."
Annie reached for a mother of pearl headband and pulled it through my hair, where it held the front part away from my face while the rest fell in a waterfall around my shoulders and down to my waist.
degreesPerfect," Felicia said, while Annie opened a drawer in the metal table and began to apply makeup. She lined my eyes with black kohl and mascaraed my lashes, brushing sparkly pale shadow on my eyelids. By the time she applied a glowing reddish-gold lipstick, I hardly recognized the face in the mirror. She quickly dusted my shoulders with a powder that made them shimmer.
Annie tugged my hand and I stood while she dressed me in the corset, garter belt and all the rest. I sat back in the chair while she tugged those beautiful suede boots up my legs. My entire body felt so sensitive, I could hardly stand it. The corset pushed my breasts high, and cinched my waist in tightly. There were earrings to match the pasties in the bottom of their little bag, and a necklace of sparkling rhinestones lay across my collarbone.
As a final touch, Felicia pulled out a pair of ice blue elbow-length gloves and Annie slid them up my waiting arms.
"I don't remember these," I protested.
degreesRaven found them and sent them over. She said they were a match to the corset, and of course they are.
Annie helped me stand up and I walked over to a trio of full length mirrors on the opposite wall. Once I saw the woman in the mirror, I stared. "That can't be me."
She stood tall in her stiletto-heeled boots, her waist so tiny compared to her flaring hips in the tight skirt, breasts pressed high by the corset. The boots made me look like some kind of extremely sexy superhero. And my beautifully styled hair and glamorous makeup completed the picture. I was astonished.
Felicia and Annie stood behind me, smiling. "Pretty good, huh?" Annie said.
I didn't know what to say. "I can't thank you all enough." Joy and pride surged from deep in my chest. I felt beautiful and sensuous, and every inch a goddess in my own right. Why hadn't I ever seen this side of myself before?
Suddenly, practicality crept from where it had been lurking and I panicked at the thought of what I had spent today. The outfit had been over a thousand dollars alone. This spa visit would probably cost more than I had spent at Super Cuts in the last ten years. I fumbled for my wallet. "H-how much...?"
Felicia pulled my hand out of my purse. "Nancy, I have known Dave for a very long time. He was so lonely until he met you last year."
degreesBut he belongs to a sex club."
degreesYes, and we all love him, but you should know he hasn't touched anyone since he met you six months ago. He comes and socializes, but he told me that he wouldn't get into any games until he could bring you with him."
degreesAnd he never even said a word."
degreesHe wasn't sure how you would feel about the whole idea."
degreesNo," I frowned, "And I'm still not sure. I look gorgeous and totally unlike myself, but I haven't seen what the club is like yet, and I don't know how I'll handle it. Now, how much do I owe you for this life-changing afternoon?"
"Not a thing," Felicia said, crossing her arms over her chest.
degreesI don't understand."
degreesThis," she waved at my image in the mirror, "is my wedding gift to the two of you."
I didn't know what to say. The treatments I'd had at this salon were certainly worth several hundred dollars. "I don't think..." I began, but Felicia gave me a steady gaze and I subsided. "Thank you from both of us."
degreesOh, I think Dave will thank me himself, once he gets a look at you," She smiled. "Even for us, this is very good work. Of course we had great raw material to work with."
The formerly raw material blushed--I could feel the heat in my cheeks. "Thanks, I think."
Annie giggled, but looked at the clock on the wall. "It's eight-thirty, Felicia."
Felicia followed her gaze. "Yes, it is. You had better go, Nancy. I have to get ready, and I'll see you there."
degreesOh, that's right, you're a member."
degreesYes, me, Annie, and Helen, most of the people who work in the back here."
degreesIt's a whole different world from the front salon isn't it?"
degreesOh yes, that one is very well thought of among the young, wealthy women of this city, but here is where my heart is. You can see why."
degreesYes, I think I can," I felt tears gathering and tried to stop them to avoid messing up my makeup. "I can't thank you all enough."
degreesJust go and be happy with our friend Dave. That will be enough thanks."
I mentally added their names to our wedding guest list, then strode--well, teetered--out of there and to my car. The boots were gorgeous and softer than soft, but oh, so hard to walk in. The clock in the car told me I only had half an hour to get to the club, although I supposed being late wasn't really a big problem at a sex club.
* * * *
I followed Barb's directions and found the Carnivore Club in a half-empty strip mall on the outskirts of town. I was late. There'd been a train stopped across the tracks for some reason and now it was nearly nine-thirty. The club was apparently the only business open there at night, although there was a liquor store across the street that seemed to be doing a pretty good business.
The sign outside said only C Club, and there were no windows facing the street, which I supposed made sense. But I would have felt less scared if I'd been able to get a glimpse of what I was walking into. Parking wasn't a problem, anyway, and I got out and locked my car, looking over its roof at the door of the Carnivore Club, where heaven knew what went on. Although I had asked Barb, Felicia, even Annie, for details, they hadn't been willing to share, just told me to go and see what I thought for myself.
I steadied myself on the stilettos and walked down the parking lot to the blood red door. But when I pulled it open, a large bouncer was blocking my way. "Excuse me, Miss, do you have your card?"
degreesYou can't get in here without a card," he said, rubbing his bald head. The T-shirt that stretched across his massive chest said SECURITY and he was wearing sunglasses. At night. "Otherwise we'd have every weirdo and nut in town here bothering the members. So do you?"
"Do I what?"
He inhaled slowly and exhaled on a sigh. "Do you have your card?"
degreesNo, I don't have a card. I'm--I'm engaged to one of the members."
"I have my orders," he said, pushing me gently out of the doorway. "No card, no getting in."
degreesBut Dave is my fiance."
"Look, lady. Nobody uses their real name in there. They all have funny names like Lady Lust and Sir Spankalot. I don't think there's anybody called Dave and even if there was I couldn't let you in."
degreesBecause you don't have a card," he said with ponderous logic, pushing me the rest of the way out and closing the door firmly behind him.
And there I stood. Even with the cloak around me, I felt self-conscious standing alone out in front of the Carnivore Club. I began to feel sorry for myself. What kind of a loser can't even get into a sex club, when they're wearing rhinestone pasties? I stood there getting more and more depressed, until I got angry.
Who was that moose not letting me in? I had half a mind to just go in anyway. Memories of the broad- shouldered body attached to that moose made me think better of that idea, but still, I was so mad I wanted to spit. So I did, right on the hood of the beaten up car that I thought might belong to the object of my anger.
degreesMy, I'm not sure that's ladylike," said the rich voice I'd heard earlier that day.
degreesHi Felicia." I was so relieved to see a familiar face, if a little embarrassed by being refused entrance to the club.
"Why are you standing out here in the cold and garbage?" she asked.
degreesThey won't let me in."
degreesWhy ever not?"
"I don't have a card."
She looked puzzled. "Didn't Barbara put your name on the list?"
degreesI don't think so. She thought Dave knew I was coming."
degreesOh, well," she swept forward and put her arm around my shoulder. "You can come with me then. Come on everyone." I noticed Annie and Helen and a couple of guys wearing spiked collars following in Felicia's wake."
Before we even got to the door, it opened as if by magic. "Welcome, Lady," said the security moose, bowing and groveling.
Felicia swept past the mountain of muscle as though he didn't exist. Once inside, she shed her own cloak and I saw that she wore a black bodysuit that clung to every one of her luscious curves. Her heels were so high I didn't know how she could even walk on them, but she glided as gracefully as ever through the foyer and into the club, handing our cloaks to a girl who hung them in a huge walk-in closet. Her hair was pulled severely back into that same ponytail, but it was held by a sapphire and silver jeweled clasp and the sleeveless, plunging necklined bodysuit showed her shapely arms and cleavage to advantage. Nobody asked me for a card, this time.
degreesDave will get you your own card," Felicia said. "I am sure he's here somewhere." We began to walk across the surprisingly large room, looking for Dave. People moved out of the way as though Felicia was their queen. I was starting to believe she might be.
* * * *
I'm not sure what I expected to find inside the Carnivore Club. The very name sounded so aggressive, it gave me chills. Honestly, I think I expected an orgy-- with everyone entwined on a huge mattress or something. I never said I wasn't naive. But my preconceptions had me trying not to see what was around me. Despite what Felicia had said, what if I found Dave naked on top of a beautiful, sexy woman, doing what I had only allowed him to do with me the day before? It was a sex club, for God's sake.
Curiosity is a powerful thing though, and soon I began to be aware of the room and its inhabitants. We had only moved a few feet in before a woman came up and greeted Felicia with a kiss. She was a redhead, but not any color I'd ever seen before, nearly the color of blood and cut in a spiky style that stuck out all over her head. Still, she had high cheekbones and almond-shaped brown eyes fringed with thick lashes and managed to look gorgeous in a brown leather halter top and second-skin pants that outlined her slim, toned legs. She was also wearing spike heels, but unlike me, she strutted up with a leonine grace. I wondered if I would ever manage to walk like that in these heels.
degreesFelicia, we were afraid you weren't coming," said the woman, holding Felicia's hand while she spoke.
"I was delayed," Felicia replied.
degreesAnd is this someone new?" purred the woman, releasing Felicia's hand and coming close to me. "A new friend of yours?"
I didn't like the way she said 'friend' and apparently neither did Felicia, because she dismissed her with a withering glance and walked forward, peering about the room.
degreesAnnie," she said, "There's Maria over by the bar. Ask her to come over here, please." Annie walked off and Felicia leaned toward me. "Don't pay attention to people like Shazad. Her lover recently left the club, moved for business reasons I think, and she's on the prowl. Most people aren't that aggressive here."
I looked at her. I had expected people to be much more aggressive and was very relieved Shazad had been an exception. "Is Dave here somewhere, do you think?" I asked, looking around the crowded room.
Most of the women were dressed in some outlandish fashion. Cat suits, corsets, and bustiers abounded, along with short skirts and skin-tight leggings. So far I hadn't even seen one single naked person, although there was a guy across the room near the bar wearing tiny leather shorts and nothing else. The dim lighting and low, vibrating techno music made the room feel intimate somehow.
How could my conservative Dave fit in here? With his stuffy, well-tailored business suits on days he had court appearances, and his comfy sweats and T-shirts lying around my house on Sundays, reading the paper and watching old Westerns on TV.
A woman walked past and I took back my thoughts that no one was naked. She was covered all right, but only in body paint. Painted head-to-toe, she looked like a cheetah. Yellow background and black spots. At least I thought it was supposed to be a cheetah. As she passed she flashed me a toothy smile and I thought some of her teeth looked awfully pointy.
There were small tables in the middle of the room, their chairs filled with club members sipping interesting-looking drinks in even more interesting shades of blue, pink, and green. Leather couches lined the walls, many of these also occupied by people sitting close together and talking. An open area with a polished wooden floor looked like it might be for dancing, although it was empty for the moment. All around the room, everyone was talking. Only talking. There wasn't a mattress in sight.
"Felicia, I thought..."
She smiled, although she tried to hide it behind her hand. "You thought you'd find an orgy didn't you?"
I nodded. "I did. Isn't this a sex club?"
degreesYes..." She looked over at Helen speaking in low tones and heading off a heavyset man in too-tight leather pants who was pointing toward us. I assumed she was telling him Felicia was busy.
degreesYes, it is a sex club..." I prompted.
degreesIn some of the bigger clubs, particularly in the cities, you would see more actual sex. But here in the sticks, we have to be a little more subtle or we'll be run out of town on a rail. Look over there," she gestured toward one of the sofas where a woman in a long, slinky gown was lying across the laps of two men dressed in leather pants and vests. But the more remarkable sight was behind them, where a third man, in the same general outfit, was chained to the wall.
I began to look more closely at the groups of people around the room. There was a lot more going on than I had noticed at first. Kissing, touching, laughing flirtation. Some open touching, and one couple doing something with ropes, tying up a third person seated on a stool.
degreesThey're all open to the possibilities. You could say people come to the Carnivore Club to stretch their boundaries, see what new things they might want or be able to try," Felicia finished, turning me back to face her.
I thought back to the other morning when Dave had stretched my boundaries. I was still a little sore. But it had been so hot! "I think I know what you're talking about. Even thought I didn't know about the Club, I think I've done some of that at home with Dave."
'I don't doubt it. Because, I can't imagine Dave not pushing the edge of the envelope."
A thought occurred to me. "Felicia...I know that you said Dave hasn't been with anyone else since we met, but I think I can assume he was with some of these people before then."
She nodded. "Yes, that would be a fair assumption."
I looked around the room again. More carefully this time. While the clothes were outlandish, my overall impression was of young and attractive people, having a good time. "How can I face them? Knowing that they and Dave... Oh, maybe even you and Dave?"
Felicia put a hand on my shoulder. "You love him, right? And trust him?"
degreesYes, but the past couple of days I've felt as though I don't know him at all."
She looked serious, as we stood there in the middle of all those people in their sexy attire, probably making plans to get together later and do only God knew what. "Nancy, you love him so much that you're here, trying to learn more about him."
I stared at her. That was it. "Yes, I've asked myself all day why I'm doing this, but that is the reason, isn't it?"
degreesSeems like it to me."
I hugged her. I was suddenly so happy, a burden I hadn't understood lifted from my bare shoulders. She hugged back, but lightly, and turned me to face the room.
degreesAnnie has found Dave for you," she said, pointing with one slim, graceful arm. "Right over there, go get him." And then she stepped back and blended into the crowd. I was alone.
* * * *
Maybe I wasn't completely alone. Because I could see Dave where Felicia had pointed. He was talking animatedly to Annie, who looked very fetching in her steampunk fairy dress, complete with wings and goggles. I felt a flash of jealousy and my body tingled with adrenaline. I wanted to go over there and slap her with her own wand, but then I saw him lean back and laugh and realized Annie wasn't any threat to us.
Dave was my fiance and we were going to get married. But when I approached him, I hardly recognized him. His dark brown hair was combed straight back from his face, showing his amazingly handsome bone structure and steely grey eyes to perfection. I had no idea where his cute nerdy glasses had gone--maybe he had contacts...another secret. He was wearing a shirt I'd never seen before, because I would have remembered. It was only a T-shirt, but it was white silk that clung to every carved muscle in his chest and shoulders. His black leather pants must have been painted on and the low black boots were polished to a high gloss. He was a man who belonged here, in this place, and with these people.
He was incredible, maybe the hottest guy in the room. And he was mine. I wanted to hop up on a table and announce it to everyone.
Kinky club people, now hear this. That super sexy guy over there by the bar, that one is mine! He will sleep in my bed tonight and soon every night
Sensuality rolled off him in waves. He even looked taller. It was hard to reconcile that this was my sweet Dave who made me coffee in bed whenever he stayed over. He looked like he could have any woman in the room and leave her begging for more. And I would fight every one of them, to keep him to myself. I was feeling very warm, and tingly, edgy, ready to pounce on him and take him home to my bed. Right now. Or better yet, let him pounce on me. Because he looked like he might be the type to do that now. How had I missed this side of him?
I walked the last few feet over to Dave and Annie, who were still talking quietly together. I stood very straight, proud of how I looked with my sexy outfit and my hair so soft and silky cascading down my back. I thought I was ready for any reaction he might have to my being there.
But I was wrong. I wasn't prepared for the man I loved not to know me. He looked right at me as I walked up to him, and I didn't see any kind of recognition on his face whatsoever.
Annie looked surprised, I supposed she hadn't expected this reaction, rather lack of reaction, either. She stopped what she had been saying in midsentence, gazing from one to the other of us. Suddenly she seemed to realize what I had known from the moment I stepped into their conversation. She grinned, then covered her laugh with a cough and turned away, shoulders shaking.
Dave looked at her and then back at me. I saw the realization dawn in those wonderful, golden brown eyes. "No." He looked at me, up and down, hands held away from his sides. "How did you know? What the hell are you doing here?"
I took a step back, all my pleasure at seeing him, my pride in my newly-transformed self, gone. I wanted to dig a hole in the floor and crawl into it. I wanted to go home. I started to crumple then remembered who was in the wrong. My Dave, my fiance, had hidden a huge part of his life from me the entire time I knew him. And he was questioning my presence
degreesWhat the hell am I doing here? I might ask you the same thing!" I looked around the room and stepped closer, dropping my voice. "I came here to... well it doesn't matter why I came here. I am very sorry I did." I spun and took a step away, but he stopped me with a hand on my shoulder.
degreesI didn't mean it that way." I couldn't tell from his tone what way he might actually have meant it, but I was too upset and angry to stop.
degreesI frankly don't care what way you meant it." I had had such an emotional day, and it had all been because of him, and now he wanted to know what the hell I was doing in his sex club with all of these strange people? Fuck him. And I said it, too. Little Miss Goodie-Two Shoes Nancy said it. "Fuck you, Dave. Get your hands off me." And I pulled away and stalked across the room, trying to put as many people between us as possible
Of course, bravado is all well and good, but I was still me and not a hard-as-nails tough girl who could stalk away from her fiance and not care about the fallout. Halfway across the room, I was shaking with sobs and my lovely kohl eyeliner was probably streaking down my cheeks. I changed my whole look for that man. I had been ready to throw out my lovely, comfy loafers and buy more stilettos if it made him happy. I had been waxed.
I looked up and brushed away the tears. My fingers came away coated in sooty tears. Crap.
A man was in front of me. If Dave was the hottest thing in the club, then the man standing in front of me was the most commanding. He was at least a foot taller than me, and just this side of muscle-bound. Normally that's not to my taste, but the way he stood there, tall enough that I had to lean back to meet his eyes, was certainly striking. He wore black leather. And nothing else, from the vest that revealed his bulging pecs to the boots that shod his feet. He was tall. He was built. And he was a study in black and white. Black hair, nearly black eyes, very long black lashes, and white skin that showed through the open front of his black leather vest like cream. Something about this man was so compelling, I immediately had to look away.
degreesIs something wrong?" It wasn't what I would have thought he'd ask, but it would have to do.
degreesNo... yes. Which way is the ladies room?"
He pointed and I nodded and sped away. I wanted quiet for a moment, and I wanted the black streaks off my face. Slipping through the restroom door, I closed it behind me and leaned against it a moment, feeling my legs shake. What a complete and total mess I had made of everything. When the sobbing began to abate, the anger began to come back.
I stepped in front of the mirror and looked at the ruin the tears had made of my carefully made-up face. I looked like a sad clown. Dampening a paper towel, I wiped away the streaks and attempted to replace at least my lipstick from the small supply of makeup in my evening bag. I stared at that face.
degreesYou will go back out there and act as though your heart hasn't just been ripped out," I spoke sternly to the woman I hardly recognized in the mirror. It was going to take a heck of a pep talk to get her back out in the main area, and I was just the girl to give it to her. "If Dave wants sexy women who sleep around, then maybe that's what you should be. That guy was pretty hot a moment ago, after all. And this is a sex club. So go out there and pick up some guy and have sex!" The image grinned at me. "Or at least make Dave think you might." Okay, I admit talking to myself isn't always a sign of mental health. But this was an emergency and I had no other option but to stay in here until everyone went home or try to crawl out the impossibly tiny window across from the door. And I had managed to cheer myself up, a little.
With an indrawn breath and prayer for strength, I opened the bathroom door and stepped back out into the pulsing music, flashing lights and crowd of people. My eyes found the tall form of the guy who had asked me what was wrong and I made a beeline for him. He was standing by the bar, sipping a cocktail and talking with the bartender when I came up behind him.
"Want to dance?" I hoped my voice hadn't cracked enough for him to notice.
He turned and raised one raven brow. "Dance. Okay, why not." He took my elbow and guided me onto the raised dance floor in one corner of the room.
He continued to hold me as we danced to a weirdly Electronica version of a song I thought I remembered hearing as a ballad from the nineteen-seventies. Was it "Easy" by the Commodore's--oh it was. How appropriate. As we swayed, he leaned down and said, "Barry."
degreesMy name is Barry. And you are Nancy, right? Dave's Nancy?"
degreesI'm Nancy, but after tonight, it remains to be seen whether I am 'Dave's Nancy'."
Barry lifted my chin with a finger and I found myself looking into his movie star face. His features even looked like the heroes of the old black and white movies from the late, late show. If I hadn't been so in love with Dave, I swear I would have made a move right then on this incredibly hot guy. The pheromones rolled right off him. But no matter how mad I was at Dave, I was in love with him. And so I was relieved when Barry didn't kiss me.
He just said, "What did David do to make you so mad?"
And I told him, with great indignation and gesticulations, while his arms around my waist steered us around the dance floor. I let my anger and hurt flow to this stranger who was willing to lend an ear. The song ended and another began. This one was slower and we continued to dance, while I vented my feelings and my new friend listened.
When I finished, Barry was smiling down at me. "Are you done?"
degreesWell, yes, I suppose I am."
degreesBecause, the object of your ire is headed this way, and I think he's upset too."
When the second song wound down, so did my anger. I am not good at holding onto anger. But I had questions I needed answered before I was willing to forgive. And I could hardly forget, not tonight anyway.
"Nancy, I have to talk to you."
Damn, as soon as he spoke, my anger flared right back up again. And I got even--just a little. "I'm sorry, Dave, but I'm talking to Barry here. You do know Barry, don't you?"
"Of course I know Barry. But you don't know anything about Barry. Let's go home."
degreesHome? Oh, I really don't think so. I just got here. I want to dance some more, mingle." My voice sounded false to my ears, higher than it should.
degreesNancy, this isn't the place to discuss this." He reached for my arm, but I stepped back.
degreesI don't even know you. I thought we had no secrets from each other, and now I find that there was always this huge lie between us." I was so angry I wanted to hit something.
"I didn't lie to you."
degreesDidn't lie?" I knew my voice was carrying, but I didn't care. "You lied every single day, by omission at the very least. What if we had gotten married without my finding out..." I heard my voice crack.
"I wouldn't have let that happen."
degreesReally? You let us get pretty damn close."
degreesI had planned to tell you soon." His body language told me more than his words. His shoulders were tense and his hands fisted.
degreesSoon, right, you were going to tell me soon. I don't want to hear any more. I'm going home." I looked for Barry, to say goodbye, but he had slipped away sometime during my tirade.
I didn't care enough anymore to look for anyone else, so I headed for the door, pushing past people, murmuring apologies when I knocked against them as blinding, angry tears obscuring my vision.
Dave came up behind me before I got to the door. He put a hand on my shoulder and spun me toward him. "Nancy, I will explain, if you'll let me."
I glared at him, waiting for him to remove his hand from my shoulder so I could continue out to my car. He must have sensed that, or he just knew me well, because he kept his hand there.
degreesI have belonged to this club, or one like it, for all of my adult life. I would never have gone for a vanilla girl, before you came along."
degreesVanilla?" I bristled.
degreesYes, vanilla. But I fell in love with you almost immediately. I would have done anything to be with you."
degreesWould you give this up?" I didn't want him to, just wanted to know if he would.
He hesitated, then seemed resolved. "Yes, if that's what it takes to be with you."
I was getting less angry, although I did think he probably deserved more punishment. But I didn't have the heart. I loved him. "No."
"I beg your pardon?"
degreesNo, Dave, I wouldn't ask you to give up your club. It's a part of you I don't know, or understand really, but it is a part of you." I looked up into Dave's eyes. "And I can't imagine there is a part of you I won't love ."
Dave's eyes twinkled and I decided to find his glasses and throw them away. The cute nerd was nice, but the man I was seeing tonight made the blood sing in my veins. "Do you have any other secrets to share with me?"
degreesI might ask you that same question," he said. "Do you have a secret life I should know about? Look at you. You look amazing. " He reached out and grabbed my hand, pulling me so I swayed on my heels and half-fell against him.
I began to laugh and couldn't stop. I leaned on Dave, gasping for breath. Two people wearing what I thought was tie-dye looking body paint, and nothing else moved away, probably in case insanity was catching. I finally stopped laughing enough to catch my breath. "That's where this whole thing started, Dave. Your secret life."
He had the grace to look abashed at my comment, but then he brightened and a tentative smile spread across those sexy lips. "I guess I shouldn't ask a question like that. How did you find out?"
degreesI'd rather not say, but I'm glad I did. Were you going to marry me without telling me about this part of your life?"
degreesNo, I couldn't do that." Then his lips tightened. "And it was weighing on me. I was afraid--afraid you would leave me when I told you."
degreesI should be very angry, your letting us get this close to the wedding with such an elephant in the room." I stopped. "How is it I never saw the big, old thing?"
degreesProbably because the only involvement I had was the Tuesday meetings. I haven't gone to any other gatherings or participated in any activities since I met you. I want you more than anything else, but this world is part of me, and giving it up completely would be hard." He paused. "Are you sure you don't mind?"
degreesMy coming here."
I looked around me at the people mingling. They were the most outlandishly dressed crowd I had ever seen, and there were a couple of people engaging in a little more fondling than I'd seen at the nightclubs I'd been to, but otherwise... "I don't think I mind your coming to the meetings," I began, placing a finger on his lips to shush him when he started to interrupt me. "But realize that I don't know what 'this' is yet. I see a group of people talking, and having a good time together, but I know that this is only one very small part of what the Carnivore Club is about."
degreesTrue," he said when I moved my finger to allow him to speak.
degreesAnd if you, if we, are members of this club, it will involve having sex with other members, and probably in ways I've never even dreamed of, right?" I asked, as a man wearing a dog collar and leash was led past us by a woman who was carrying a braided leather whip in her other hand.
degreesYes, but not like them," he said, following my line of vision. "I don't roll that way."
"Apparently I don't know what way you do roll."
degreesYou know most of it," he said, coming closer to run his hand down the length of my hair. "I can't get over how you look. No wonder I didn't recognize you."
degreesYou are always beautiful, but this is, well, let's get out of here."
degreesYou don't think I fit in?" Disappointment filled my chest, making it hard to breathe until he finished.
"You fit in too well. And I don't know what we'll do about the club scene later, but for tonight I just want you all to myself."
degreesNaked? I've been naked a lot today."
He blinked at me and I smiled, daring him to ask. Instead he said, "No, I think we can keep the boots on if you don't impale me on one of those heels."
I felt a thrill run down my spine. "You like?"
He didn't have to answer, just grabbed my hand and pulled me through the crowd toward the door. I saw Barb in the corner talking to a tall man with a Van Dyke beard, and Felicity holding court on one of the couches with her girls, and then we were out the door.
degreesHow did you know I loved high boots?" he asked as he fumbled to unlock the passenger door on his coupe.
"Dave, my car is..."
degreesLeave it." His voice was hoarse. "We'll pick it up in the morning."
His gaze was so intense, all I could do was nod as he closed the door after me and walked around to the driver's side. The languor of the massage and all the petting by the women earlier was gone, replaced with a tension that made every nerve in my body prickle. What had I done? This wasn't the Dave I was used to.
I started to say something a couple of times, only to stop when he turned his head and I saw his eyes gleaming, feral in the dim light. They looked like they were lit from within, and I was just a little afraid. So I sat very still in my seat and prayed I hadn't started something I wasn't going to be brave enough to finish.
* * * *
Dave drove the car up into my driveway and killed the engine. He drew a deep breath before turning to look at me, statue-like in the leather passenger seat. The gleam faded a little from his eyes, replaced with a worried frown.
"Are you all right, Nancy?"
No, I wasn't, but I had steeled myself all the way home for whatever was going to happen. At least it was only the two of us, no other members of the Carnivore Club perched in the back seat ready to ravish me in some unthinkable way. However, I didn't want to be a shrinking violet, so I nodded. Not too convincingly, with my chin trembling and a few tears on my lashes.
"You aren't fine at all, are you?" he asked. "It's still me, Nance, you've never been afraid of me before. "
degreesN-no, I'm not afraid exactly."
degreesThen what?" The hot, sexy guy next to me was suddenly my sweet, concerned Dave. But the day had affected me in ways I was hesitant to express to Dave. I wanted hot guy back again. He would understand. So I did what I had to.
I unbuckled my seat belt and launched myself across the seat to land a searing kiss on his surprised lips. Fortunately, the excitement hadn't abated much for him, as I could feel when I ran my hand over the front of those incredibly tight leather pants.
degreesOh, my God." He kissed me back, our tongues dancing together and hands roaming wildly. After breathless moments, he pushed me a few inches away and groaned. "Nancy, we have to take this inside. Okay? I'm not an exhibitionist big on going to jail for public indecency."
I was starting to think I might be, but I really didn't want to treat my small town neighbors to the show we were no doubt about to put on. Not without selling tickets. So I drew a deep breath and clambered out my side of the car, walking as fast as my spiky heels would allow, to my front door.
By the time Dave managed to adjust his pants enough to follow, I had the door open and was headed right for the bedroom. "Hurry," I called.
He could move faster than me, since he wasn't burdened with oh-so-sexy stiletto-heeled boots, so he caught up before I reached the door and scooped me up in his arms. I reached over to turn on the bedside lamp right as he laid me gently down on the bed.
My love stood over me, just looking, until I thought I would explode with the desire to have him with me, on me, inside me. "Dave, please." I held out my arms, reaching toward him.
He looked down at me, then began pulling his shirt over his head. His words, muffled by the fabric, but his voice was clear. "I hope you know what you're saying."
The air around him appeared to shimmer with heat. I did mean it, but... "No, I have no idea what I'm saying. And I don't care. I only know I want you right now." I half sat up, holding his waistband, unfastening the button and tugging on the skintight pants.
Dave tossed his shirt to the floor and reached down to help me pull his pants off. There was nothing under them, as I had already guessed from the way they fit. And he was as hard as I had ever seen him. "Touch me," he demanded, and I reached a trembling hand to encircle the shaft, feeling the pulse that beat under the skin.
I leaned forward to take him in my mouth. Slowly, so slowly, I took him deep and deeper into my throat and out again until only the head was held inside my mouth. I nipped gently and heard him groan.
He grabbed a handful of hair and tugged me back. "Enough, you have to stop. I want this to be good tonight, and if you keep that up it will be over in a minute."
Feeling less nervous and much more tingly, I turned over onto all fours and arched my back. "Dave, I'm laced all up the back. Can you help me?" I felt catlike, trying not to writhe too much while my lover's fingers slowly fumbled to untie the complicated lacings that Felicia's girls had accomplished at the salon. Finally, he gave up and yanked. The delicate ribbons shredded in his strong hands and the corset fell open onto the bed.
Dimly, the old me wondered if it was damaged, but the new, sexy Nancy didn't care. It had served its purpose, after all, if the hot hands sliding around to my front were any indication. He caressed my excited peaks, then reached down to grasp the tiny, silky black panties and tugged. They tore immediately. He flipped me over and leaned across my body, running his hands from my shoulders down onto the boots, which he caressed as he had my skin. His caresses caused me to writhe on the comforter, feeling the wetness pool between my legs. I knew I'd never been this turned on in my life.
He bent to nip and suckle my breasts, and my fingers tangled in the silky strands of his hair. I couldn't wait.
"Now, please now."
He pulled my thighs apart and settled between them, "Wrap them around me, Nancy. I want to feel your legs in that suede while I fuck you."
I crossed my feet at the base of his spine, and the leather seemed to drive him into a frenzy. He pushed into my waiting warmth, hard and fast, then leaned back, pulling me to a sitting position. We were facing each other, my legs around his waist. He grasped my butt cheeks and lifted me with a brute strength I never knew he had, while he pounded into me.
It didn't take long before I felt the climax coming, roaring from a vague distance and overwhelming every sense in a cacophony of sensation. The air was filled with golden sparkles as I screamed his name, and felt his release shooting into me, with a heat that pushed me over the edge again.
He fell back and took me with him, to lie on top of him, too exhausted to move. I wanted to say something, felt like I should, but the fatigue of the day and his incredible lovemaking made it impossible. I surrendered to sleep and didn't wake up until much later, when I looked up to find myself gazing into golden brown eyes whose look that I couldn't decipher.
degreesI want to ask you a question."
degreesOkay," I wasn't totally back in my body yet, but I would do my best.
"It took six months for you to be willing to do what we did yesterday morning."
degreesMmmhmmm." Yesterday was a very long time ago.
degreesAnd now you show up at the Carnivore Club looking like a fetish queen, and you seem to know Annie and maybe Felicia?"
degreesYes, I met them earlier today. Or yesterday? What time is it anyway?" I was starting to wake up somewhat.
degreesDoesn't matter. It's late. Are you awake?"
I struggled to push myself up to on my elbows, but gave up, lying back amid the tangled bedding. "Yes, I am now."
"It's just that some of the women in the club like, that is,..."
degreesThey like women?"
degreesYes, that's what I mean. Did anything happen?"
degreesNo, not really... well, yes. "
"Did anyone hit on you? Make a pass?"
I smiled. "No, not a pass really. But I found out something about myself as well as about you through all of this."
degreesYes, apparently I like women too. Not like I like--love, you. But their touch, when they were dressing me and doing my hair, all of that, well, I didn't hate it."
His eyes looked wary in the dim light of the bedside lamp. "Really?"
Now I was completely awake and curious. "Really. It seems there's a side of me I hadn't seen before. Is it possible that maybe in future we could bring one of them home with us. If it seems okay at the time of, course."
He pulled me into his arms. "I would never have asked. But it's definitely something I would like to do. As long as you're comfortable with it, of course."
I smiled, feeling like a sex goddess after a long day of surrender to the sensuality that lay hidden within me. "You never know."