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Gods and Mummies, Oh My!
by Crymysn Hart

Category: Erotica/Erotic Fantasy/Dark Fantasy
Description: All she wanted was to have a normal wedding, but not even Death will let her rest. Kalliope just wants to get married. However, the gods always have to interfere. Just when she's picking out her wedding dress, Anubis, the Egyptian God of the Dead, falls at her feet begging for help. Not able to refuse him, she finds herself up to her ears in sand. Tied to Anubis, she has to find time to plan a wedding, deal with rampaging mummies, and a jealous lover who'll stop at nothing to upset the wedding. The only thing that keeps her going is her love for Lugh. He's the other half of her soul and not even he can help her out of her sandy situation. With her trusty frog at her side and a three-foot spider, she braves ancient tombs and Egyptian curses to make it to the altar on time. Will the wedding be crashed? Will she save Anubis? Or will she find she's wrapped up in a web of deceit with no one to trust?
eBook Publisher: loveyoudivine, 2010 2010
eBookwise Release Date: August 2010


1 Reader Ratings:
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Available eBook Formats: OEBFF Format (IMP) [265 KB]
Words: 63627
Reading time: 181-254 min.

Kalliope scanned the shop for the tenth time, worrying her pen. After six months everything was finally the way she wanted it. Chase, her friend and ex-boyfriend from high school, owned the small shopping plaza. At first, he wanted to give her the entire building. She attributed that to the effect her magick had on people and the universe. Ever since she'd become a true witch, things in her life had become easier and fallen into place. She had talked him into taking whatever inventory she had in the shop for payment. Gods forbid she got too greedy and the universe decided to throw another obstacle in her way. Well, it really wasn't the universe, but the gods who controlled said universe. After the assassination attempt on All Hail last year, her life had settled down. There hadn't been any more crazy, serpent-haired goddesses attempting to take over the world or insane sun gods trying to kill her.

A lot had occurred over the past two years. There was a real cheesecake god, and his name was David. No matter how immune she was to godly charms, nothing could beat his power over women. Every once and a while she had found cheesecakes on her counter she did not buy, and they were not a product of her magickally self-stocking fridge and cabinets. No matter how much David tried to woo her with his luscious delights, her heart was stuck on one particular hot sun god who was always naked. She was still getting used to the idea of being naked with him. However, Kalliope had no problem staring at his perfectly formed bottom and his ever-ready equipment. Just thinking about him made her hot. She blushed picturing him. He was tan, sculpted perfectly, with evergreen eyes, and a smile to die for. He always knew when she was in trouble and when they were together, he read her thoughts before she even knew what she wanted, bringing their lovemaking to another level.

"If you think about me any harder, the whole place might combust." Arms entwined around Kalliope's waist, squeezing her slightly. A supple voice tickled her ear. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the attention. Silky lips kissed along the line of her neck. Lugh's hard length pressed against her backside. Goosebumps ran over her body from the chills he gave her.

It'd be so nice to have a break.

"Why not take one then? You are the proprietor of the store."

Kalliope turned in his grasp, surprised to find he wore clothes. The red T-shirt emphasized every muscle, and his black jeans accentuated all the right curves including the bulge of the erection he sported. Her cheeks burned when she thought about the things he had done to her in the past. All it took was one simple touch. Without saying a word, his hand slipped under her shirt. Once the tips of his fingers caressed her flesh, Kalliope gripped her thighs together to stay focused and keep her mind on this planet. Golden light burned behind her eyes and fused her chakras together while his power surged through her, touching her most intimate places only he was allowed to explore. Her pen clattered to the floor. She ground against him to feel his hard shaft. He slowly planted kisses along her neck, teasing her with quick flicks of his tongue. His fingers trailed upward to cup her breasts. A moan passed over her lips. His mouth left warm imprints behind when he moved to another part of her throat.

Do you know how much I want you right now, Kalliope? he whispered in her mind.

How much

One hand left her breast and slipped under the waistband of her blue jeans. She was already so wet it would've been easy to let her jeans fall to the floor or magick them away and have him deep inside of her. His fingers touched her hidden bud, and reality fell away. Surges of heat rushed all along her nerves. Her fingers dug into the meat of his calves to hold herself steady from the orgasm clutching her.

"Wow. Oh boy-I...ah...can see I have to come back later." A familiar voice sounded in the store.

Kalliope bit her lip. Her cheeks burned from being interrupted in such an intimate act. She opened her eyes and saw Lugh's lopsided grin. It seemed he was used to getting caught.

Later. He chuckled. Besides we'll have more time to go over things then.

What things?

He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and didn't reply. She felt the echo of his presence from the absence of his warmth when he stepped away. She smoothed her hair, straightened her clothes, and then turned around. Kalliope had completely forgotten she had told Anna to come over and help her flip through tons of bride magazines. What does a witch wear to a wedding where the majority of the guests are gods and mythological creatures? Flidais offered to have the Fates weave a dress for her, but she declined. I really don't want any more obligations with the gods. Everyone wants their two cents. It wasn't every day a witch married a god.

"No, Anna. Come on in. We...were...ahh--"

"Just playing a little game of strip poker." Lugh beamed.

Anna's gaze dropped to the tile floor. Kalliope began to zip up her jeans when she noticed the zipper was broken. Closing her eyes, she pictured herself in a broom skirt and when she opened her eyes, she was. She smiled. Her new powers were great, and she was glad she was getting the hang of them. Lugh ran his fingers along her sides until she squirmed.

"I'll leave you two ladies alone. Let me know when you're done. There's someone I want you to meet."

"Not another god. Haven't we seen all the gods on the Council yet?" In order for them to marry, they needed the approval of all the major god pantheons. So far, they had seen the Japanese gods, the Celtic ones, the Greek ones, and a slew of others all because she wasn't completely human anymore.

He kissed her nose. "I know, but we have to be sure. You know that All Hail is paranoid that you'll become a full fledged goddess, and it'll go to your head. Maybe you'll want to take his place or even knock me off."

She ran her hand over his crotch and sent a bolt of power through him. He closed his eyes and sighed. Kalliope loved to watch him shiver. "That would never happen. I don't wanna be Mistress of the Universe. And how could I live without you? Fine, rules are rules. I'll let you know when we're done."

Lugh clutched her bottom. "Good. Because if you don't, I'll send some of those penis shaped oranges you love so much."

Before she could reply, he was gone. Kalliope sighed. I hate it when he does that. She shook her head and focused back on her coven sister. Anna heaved a stack of catalogues onto the counter. A shiver of fear went through Kalliope. More pages to flip through. Oh joy. How many paper cuts am I going to get today? She flashed back to the heaps of magazines she had already gone through. "Let's get this over with."

Her coven sister giggled. "You know, it could be worse."

She laughed at that. Even though she'd informed her coven about her trials of saving the world, they really didn't know the half of it. "Oh yeah. It really could be."

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