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Bio: Alfred Pickup was born in Austria in 1945 to a Jugoslavian mother and a German father. After the war and his fathers death, Alf's mother marries an English soldier. In 1948, they leave Austria for England, and in 1952 half brother Denis arrives. 1955 see Alf's parents devorce and he is fostered out to the old witch from hell, shared her two bedroomed prefab with her daughter, a 65 year old man, and six Pekenese show dogs. Alf became good at gardening and taking bloody dogs for walks. In 1959 the witch dies, and he moved in with his mother who is shacking up with married man who moves out, not beforleaving Alf's mother pregnant with his half sister Ingrid. The next few years were spent as a suragate father. Join navy 1961, met and married his wife in 1964. Now has two gorgous daughters, three grand duaghters and one grand son. Spent the next 23 years running a fish and chip shop, hence the book title. Now Alf is happily retired.